which comes first - anger or being upset

Hi, well it depends on the situation and also the person who will kick start this. Usually I get angry immediately but sometimes with my boyfriend first I may get upset and then angry. Usually this happens when he says something that I don;t like and decide to shut up not to start a fight, so I will be upset. However I guess the anger will start to build up and then after a few other situations like this I will burst and it will be a big one. Btw my holiday starts in 3 days time

Hi Jb, In my case I get upset first, then the emotions build up, and I become angry. This is when I make an effort to watch myself because there are times when I'm angry I blurt out things I regret later. It's not a good feeling. Back in high school I've learned a famous quote by Aristotle on anger: Anybody can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way: this is not easy.

I get angry first. I am not self blaming, and I don't feel guilty very often, so it makes sense that I'd get angry. Now if whatever is going on can't be resolved... meaning I try everything in my power to handle it and I can't because I just get boxed in and shut down and pretty much beaten up from all sides, THEN I'd feel like crying. This doesn't happen to me much though. Anger makes me strong and I am very persistent and don't tend to back down. Most other people will back down, which means I don't lose very often. I get accused of being stubborn and hardheaded, and you know, I might be, but I'd rather stand my ground and be that way instead of being easily swayed and influenced by a variety of things and people. It's not about being liked, it's about having my life the way I want it.

i am not sure whether i get angery first or not... whatever,i am sure that i will get upset,which means i am still unindependent enough.

anger comes first, then upset and then zeal to find solution