Is It Rude?

Well, I think it's a fair question, ZephyrSun, and I take it in the spirit that you're asking it. I think that myLot is a great environment for people to work on their writing skills, language skills and even "conversational" skills, no matter what their mother tongue may be. I am bilingual and I know for a fact that when I write in French, I do make mistakes, even after all these years (I don't get to use written French often, even though I speak it just fine, so you kind of fall out of practice). I just hope that people will understand what I mean and take into account the effort. I'm also not offended at all if someone asks me to clarify what I meant to say. I don't think it's rude and, in fact, you can engage people into ongoing discussion by asking questions. Simply say, "I'm really sorry but I don't quite understand what you mean when you say " I would be very surprised if someone took offense to that because you're interested in them and you clearly want to interact with them - and that's what we are here to do :) You are also giving them the opportunity to make their statement in an alternate way and it may become easier for you to respond to, if expressed differently. I think the secret is in how you ask :) If you're polite about it (i.e., don't just say "WHAT?????"), it'll be a positive experience on both sides

I'm not sure, as I haven't had this problem before. Id probably ask them what they're trying to say, maybe they know other English words that could describe what they mean to say? Or you could just not reply, I don't think it's rude if you can't understand! I would just try to not reply to everybody else, and leave them out. But either way, I don't think anybody's going to lose sleep over it. good luck and happy mylotting...

In a case like that, its time to employ some politician style damage control. Ask nicely for someone to reiterate, I believe that could help. There is also the need for patience in some cases not just because of second language English but also the difference in upbringing, culture, experience and beliefs. Ah, another thing to try is open up Notepad, Word (or a similar addon via Firefox, Opera etc). Copy and paste the post into Notepad/Word and break it down sentence by sentence. At least in that way you can see each sentence unobstructed and have a clearer view of what might be said here. You can also ask questions and confirm with the poster if you are interpreting the post/thoughts properly. I had to do this a couple of times with a particular member. Seemed like he/she had no interest in paragraphs, space bars, the enter key and punctuation. (Can you say "Wall of Text"?). The only glaring problem with this is with the other person as their grasp of the language could still obstruct any understanding attempts (the person might think you are writing wrong). In my opinion it's not rude to say you can't understand a person or a person is just posting absolute nonsense. Many times it just needs to be said, though delivery of the statement can be done in a diplomatic fashion.

I usually just say "I don't know what you mean" but sometimes I just don't reply.

One of my active referrals here is from China and she has a problem with her use of English. I've had to coach her along because she knows she makes mistakes. She doesn't get offended when people take the time to help her, but this is rare as everyone here is in a hurry to make the BIG bucks! Myself I'll sometimes help them by pointing out the proper way to phrase a certain term or word it the right way! Sometimes I just move on depending on the situation. It's really a judgment call on your end! I'm learning Spanish again, and had French in college, compared to English I've noticed the adjectives are behind the nouns and this is very confusing to people who are taught sentence structure, and it confuses us that have English as a native tongue I know it confuses me! Hoped this helped ya a little Zeph! tdemex

I've had this happen a few times to me, but I'm not offended. I'd rather people say "que?!" than me think I've given advice or a response, when I haven't. If this doesn't make sense - please let me know!

Hi there! Even if a member does not submit a proper response, in the sense that his English may not of high standard or perfect, I always welcome his/her response and convey my thanks to him. I would never ever say that I could not understand what you want to say. Even if the response is irrelevant to my discussion, I would convey my reaction in a very polite and humble manner and would never offend the responder.

I don't think it is rude, I have encountered this before, and since I can't really get the gist of what they mean, I don't comment to their response. I also don't comment to every response I get because sometimes its either something that is similar to another response, or I just don't know what to say to it, but either way i just have nothing to say *shrugs* I don't take any of it as "rude", it would actually be a disservice to those who are trying to get a grasp on English, to pretend that you get what they are saying, because then they would think they did it right and not realize that they didn't word it right, just like if I posted in Spanish on a forum, I wouldn't want people just to go along with me, it might make me feel good, but would not teach me anything.

hi zephyrsun I ran across this last night and I really did'want to respond to this person's discussion as he or she sounded'like they wanted some help. But the discussion was so short and it read like a vital part of a sentence was missing. I stated as politely as I knew how that I really wanted to help,but needed a bit more information so I could make an intelligent response. I think this was kind enough not it invoke bad feelings,at least I surely hope so.

Just respond as best you can. If you don't understand then you can say so in the response. Most of these responses are fairly legible only they sometimes are worded the wrong way in terms of strictly proper English.

For me if I responded to a discussion in away that someone didn't understand I would much prefer it for them to respond saying that didn't understand and asking if I would explain a bit more clearly or elaborate on a point. This to me helps build discussions and also friendships but it also stops people taking offence by not understanding what you said. Likewise if someone responded to a discussion I started and what they said seemed not to make sense for one reason or another I would have no issue in asking them to try and explain further, making sure I ask in a non offensive manner.

I think it all depends on how you approach the person. If you approach it in a nice way, he / she will understand it. One thing that you can do if you really can't understand what he / she is saying, you can send him / her a private message and ask him/ her what he/ she trying to say in the discussion, i think with that he/she will not be offended. i hope this will help you. happy mylotting!!

Hi Zephyrsun I have to say this is a pretty important discussion, people need to know if they are offending someone or if someone is feeling offended when actually none of the case is true, mY first language isn't English either but then i think I am comfortable expressing myself here, still though we need to be really polite on others who are not that proficient in english, I have come across some responses where the responder isn't good at grammer but fortunately I was able to understand, but that isn't the case always... when I have to face something like that then i would reply something like this "Hi {username} I appreciate your response and i am glad you took part in my discussion, but i am sorry I couldn't understand what you wanted to say . . . plz don't get me wrong here, i thought i should let you know" . . . the important thing is use simple and plain words and not make it sound sarcastic in anywhere, just be friendly and the user should understand that you couldn't get his/her message in the post... all the best and have a nice day Zephyrsun

I don't think its rude at all. In fact I left a little message the other day for someone because there question was so messed up that no one could understand it. I think what I did was clear enough and yet nice enough. I just asked them to clarrify what they wanted. Because I couldn't understand it at all. No one else could either and there was actually people in there poking fun of the OP. Which to me wasn't right.

Hey, Its not rude but u can handle such situations tactfully also. When i c a person not making any sense or some response whee i feel i have nothing to say then i simple post some emotes , lol. This way i have responded too and yet i dont make any one angry. or wont hurt anyone? What do u think? Cheers, Tutul

A Bad Discussion To Start By An Old Mylotter .. LoL .. Come on Zephyrsun, You Do look Like An Old Mylotter .. How Can You Still Be Not knowing things In Mylot .. Coming to your Discussion I Don't think It is Rude if you Don't Respond to them Back Again .. I Doubt If they Would Look Back at the Responses Made by them .. It is Better if You Can Pass Some Comments Like 'Thanks For responding, I Think The Use Of Language Could Have been Better' .. Thanks For Reading My Humble Advice ..

I would try to handle it carefully. Like try to ask more questions, so that there can be a mini discussion and hence, I could understand what is trying to be said. If not, I'll give a short answer, but keeping to the subject matter. I would try to understand what is being said and normally, I could make out what the person is trying to say. If it is for an answer to my discussion in particular, I would try my best to understand what is being said.

Hi ZephyrSun, sorry to turn up late to all this but a few comments you were making earlier on jb's BNP discussion caught my eyes so I came on a profile hunt Being sensitive to the problems some English language learners have with English I try to work some sense out of what they are saying but it's easier to ask for clarification when it's someone one has met a few times on here before but I've never encountered a problem by asking. On the other hand I freely ask about all these strange Americanisms that creep in, I'd never heard of Trash talk ever until Aunty explained it to me the other day. I recall leaving that one with 'Americans have trash, we have rubbish, so who has the garbage.'

Me too. :-) Language is never a barrier when facing one another as there are other ways of expressing. But when the expression doesnt reach me through language here, I too feel lost. I also wanted to know if it is rude not to reply when the same thing is said so many times over with little new in it. :-)

Well I know this is hard for some people, what I usually do is read through the post, take whatever I can from that as respond to it, everyone has a right to post here, so we may as well make the best of it, I find it easy to just take a few words from a post and in my mind picture what is being said, and go from there. I had a problem with a poster on a message board and I could not understand what this woman was saying ever, so I responded to her to proof-read before she send so we can respond to her post, well she emailed me and told me she was deaf so her writing was not good, I felt so bad, so with that said we never know who we are responding too, we just have to do our best, if you come across something really bad simple say, thank you for your response have a great day.