what would you do in this situation???
By peachmom2369
@peachmom2369 (131)
United States
August 28, 2009 4:33pm CST
well im in a vary complicated situation right now i just got married 3 weeks ago to the greatest guy ive ever met i have a 7 month old daughter that i had before i met him. well the father of my child is not in her life nor does he want to be he wants nothing to do with her. my husband has brought up a couple times about adopting my daughter because he does anything and evrything for her he loves her like his own and always says how he wishes that she was truelly his child but he has gotten in trouble with immigration since that us is really strict on immigration now they will prolly try evrything to send him back to his country eventhough he has been here since he was 3 but we have been discussing putting him on my daughters birth certificate as the father since the biological father refused to acknowledge her as his there is no father on her birth certificate. what would you do because he makes a great father to her and also it would help him be able to stay here with me and my daughter if he claims her as his child but i dont want to feel like i am lieing to my daughter about her real father even though he is and will be in evry way that means anything.
2 people like this
6 responses
@MrzRobinson (34)
• United States
29 Aug 09
If you two are married and you are a citizen, doesn't he now have the right to stay in the country? I know that's the way it used to be.
1 person likes this
@peachmom2369 (131)
• United States
30 Aug 09
its not that simple i have to petition for him become a citizen and stay here and if they dont think that its a legit marriage or if they see no reason for him to stay then they will send him back without even thinking twice.
1 person likes this
@txgrl21 (819)
• United States
28 Aug 09
Hi peachmom2369! I think your husband deserves to stay and your daughter deserves a good father. I wish immigration would just kick out all of these illegals who do not deserve to be here like the drunks and criminals. My husband is having a hard time with his legal status too and it is just not fair that so many people abuse the system! It is especially hard on those of us who have kids. Besides I read somewhere that kids who grow up without a father are more likely to devolop slower and have difficulty at school so it benefits your baby to have her daddy there. Hope it all works out for you and your family, happy mylotting!
1 person likes this
@peachmom2369 (131)
• United States
28 Aug 09
thanx i know how you feel immigration waste to much time kicking out all the good people that deserve to be here and let all the ones who dont just slide by.
1 person likes this
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
9 Sep 09
It would be easier if all three of you had the same last name. Guess I need to ask you if you plan to ever tell your daughter that your current husband is not her father? Am speaking my feelings as an adopted child who later in life wanted to know both my biological parents for medical reasons along with simply wanting to know where my roots originated. I had 2 children and one on the way when it came time to do a search. I did find both of them and did some digging on their medical backgrounds and the results were good. Guess what is important later on in life is when your daughter begins to ask questions because someone, family member or friend, usually spills the beans that she doesn't belong to your current husband. It always manages to leak out in time. Whatever decision you make, hope it's comfortable for all three of you. You sounds like a very caring mom and wife.
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
16 Sep 09
It seems you haven't known your husband very long, but if you are certain enough of him to marry him, and convinced of his integrity, it seems the best for him to adopt your daughter. In the adoption process, you can also change your daughter's last name to his.
I would caution against putting his name on the birth certificate. If anything, lying would work against his being accepted as a citizen. Follow the legal channels. Everything seems to be in your favour.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Aug 09
peachmom hi hatley here.If your husband has beenhere since age
3 Iam wondering if there isn't an amenesty clause that could be'used bo make him legal here.I would sure ask a public defender or any
friend who may be a lawyer or know immigration laws.I am sure I'herd someplace that some people in your husbands situation having beenhere since childhood were given amnesty.I would sure ask someone about it and yes I think he should adopt your child.He loves her and you, sound perfect to me as long as you can get some way to let him stay here legally.good luck and God Bless.
@dmrone (746)
• United States
2 Sep 09
Hi! I would put him on the birth certificate, and have her last name changed to match his. Then she is rightfully his daughter. Or you could leave the birth certificate blank and let him adopt her. It sounds as if he is her father in every way except in name.
