Old Folks' Home - Would you send your parents there?

Hi Kev, nice of you to start this discussion... For my own opinion, it's not an issue putting old folks in a home run by others, but it's a big big issue putting them there without even visiting them! I personally feel that it would be better for sick old folks to be place in a home, as I know some of these homes are better medical facilities, care and even some of them has an in house doctor. In these places, the old folks will have friends to chat and communicate. Well, I am not promoting to send old folks to home, however if we are unable to be there for them caring for their basic necessities, I think it's a better alternative sending them to homes than rotting at home. It's not cheap to hire a maid to care for an old folk 24 / 7, and also we are unable to know if this maid is mindful and caring enough towards the old folks. However, as a child, it's still our responsibilities to be there emotionally and supporting our parents even they are placed in homes. We are to visit them regularly, bring them home for gathering, and able to talk to them instead. By dumping them in homes, it's not a good idea... For me, I will not want to send my mum to old folks home if possible (meaning my mum is able to care for herself, at least on the basic daily routine) and should she is not in the pink of health, and I am unable to provide the special care, I would rather her be care by someone else, and I am sure going to visit her often, even on a daily basis (touch wood)

They are called Nursing Homes here. When the elderly are sent to these places, they require medical attention that their children cannot provide. Most family's here have 2 adults working full time and cannot afford to hire medical professionals to come to their home for 24 hour care for their parents. Unfortunately some elderly people are put in these homes because they either don't have family to care for them or don't family that care to care for them. I wouldn't send my parents if I could keep from it. My husband and I both work full time and have 4 kids to support, so for one of us to quit our job to stay home would kill us financially.

Sadly my parents passed away many years ago so I never have to go through the experience of placing my parents in a home. I'm a little worried about this subject of placing parents in a care home though! I know that there are some very good homes out there but recently there have been numerous reports about harsh treatment and cruelty directed towards the elderly in certain care homes. It is very honerable if the sons or daughters take care of their elderly parents in their old age. There are lots of people in the world that cannot be bothered with this though and this is unfortunate. I cannot comment too much though as I am totally out of the situation and it doesn't apply to my life or circumstances. Andrew

I don't plan on sending my parents to an old folks home. I think some people do if their parents end up with alzheimer because that is a bit more difficult to deal with especially if you need to leave them alone in the house. I hope to be able to deal with whatever problems arise when my parents are not able to take care of themselves.

I will never do such thing, I swear. I will take care of my mother when she's old. She took care of me when I was still a baby right?? Some people send their parents to old folks home because they are too busy with their work routine. But why not just hire a maid to take care of them when you are at work. Let them stay with you in your house. I am sure they don't even have the intention to burden you when they are old and helpless. One of my way to repay my mum for all the things she had done to and for me, is at least to take of her when she's old. I think, if you do that to you parents, your children will also do that to you. I love my mother, I will never send her away.

No I would not send my parents to the nursing home. I would feel more comfortable having them here. After all they took care of you when you were born so now its time to pay them back. Sometimes the Nursing homes can be beneficial for some elderly people as they can provide them all the care that they need.

I hate those who send their old parents to old age homes.Our parents struggle though out their life so that we are well settled .But once we are settled most of the sons/daughters say that they are rally busy in work and they have got hardly any time to meet them. But they have time to booze and to workout with their wife..What would the kids do when their parents said the same things that they are very busy in work we cannot look after you,you go join in some orphans home.In my view old age homes should allow those people who are really unable to maintain their parents.They should check the financial position and medical position of the children and the parents respectively.Then they should allow them to join.There are some useless fellows who leave their parents on the roads,that is why there is no such serious rules as I stated one...

Well, we have plenty of the Old Folks Homes around here, all types...they call them Nursing homes, Assisted Living Homes, or Retirement Homes. Our government and state is trying hard to keep the older folks in their homes alot longer by giving them more assistance when needed. My mother is 89 yrs old and still lives alone. She lives in a Senior HighRise building, has a 2 1/2 room apt. and gets along real well. She also has wears a signal button around her neck to signal for help if she falls - they call it "Life-Line" ...all she has to do is hit the button, and the company that operates this system alerts us that she has fallen, and we see to it that she gets help or we run over there. OF course it does help that we don't live far away from her, within a mile or two. Older folks can also get what they call "Meals on Wheels", where a company actually cooks them their meals, and brings it to them every day...so they don't have to cook at all if they don't want to. Most folks don't want to leave their home that they have lived in for a long time, therefore to even live with a family member is often hard for them. Additionally, there are not always adequate living space in the home of those family members to take them in. Unfortunately, there is a time that does come, when it is impossible for them to live alone - which is when they are moved to a Nursing Home - most often it is because they end up with Alzheimers, or crippled. In that case it would be difficult for a family member to take care of them.

No I would not send them to a nursing home! My Mom actually works in a nursing home right now. It's very hard work and very sad. She has quite some stories about her home.

If children are looking for an excuse they will find one. Someone mentioned here that our Parents took care of us when we were little. I wholeheartedly agree! They fed us, changed our Diapers, watched over us, took care of us when we were ill, helped us get dressed, drove us or walked us to school, cleaned up our messes,etc. So now we are all grown up and the role is reversed And we can't take care of them?we are too busy? don't have the proper nursing skills? Already too many burdens on us? If our Parents would have looked at taking care of us this way, we would have been in big trouble. Blessings

We do have places like these in the Philippines. Our country has very close family ties and we would never even try to put our parents in these homes. These homes exist if the aged have no one to care for them which is... very sad and gloomy. Or on the bad side, these homes exist because there is a relative of the aged person but couldnt care enough. As children, we dont have an excuse for not taking care of our parents. And we would never ever ever send our folks in these homes. We will always find means to attend to our aged loved ones. This is the best time that we reciprocate the patience and kindness to them.

I wouldnt dream of it! Not that all old age homes or nursing homes are bad. In fact, I have been to one not so long ago, which seemed quite a nice place to be. But sending my father there! No way. He would get depressed looking at people disapparing around him. And he likes to feel indispensable, even at home. So he is always doing some chore or the other though he is 75. He doesnt let me go even to the bank as traditionally finance is men's domanin in our part of the world, and as long as he is around, it is his duty. If I send him there - he will be out of this world in less than an year! I understand other people's compulsions. But I dont have them. I can look after my father at my home and get professional help from some hospitals located quite close to the place where I stay. So - it wont be a big deal. And he is so loving - even the thought of sending him away is like cutting a part of my body. I am in for a very tough time in future if I lose him. I hope mylotters will be around to console me, if it happens. :(

no. no. no. absolutely not. i really do not believe that and honestly if u do that karma will get u

I'd frankly leave that to their own discretion. Having grandparents who lived by themselves through most of their life, I don't think it's mandatory that people are sent to a retirement home just so that they can live under the care of someone. I mean, if the question is if I'd prefer to bear with my parents or send them to such a place, I'd definitely ship them off, for their own sake. But otherwise, I think that my father at least will be quite capable of living till the end of his days without needing a nurse constantly after him.

Hello, Yes we do have those kind of homes here. A few years ago my whole family moved in with my Grandma to help her out in many ways. Over the years she grew sick and we tried to give her the help she needed.She didnt want to go to a place like that to finish out her last years here on earth and we kept our promise until she had cancer and she was in the hospital and after that they sent her for special. We were gonna have something set up to bring her back home, but she became super sick and passed away. I could never see myself putting my parents away in a home and it depends on what is matter with ones parents . Yes, it is very stressful at times but it can work . The only way I might put a parent in a home like that is if they are harming themselves or people around them , you know the whole unsafe and crazy from being sick.

If I had the money no I wouldn't. I don't right now but I do know of people who have parents in the nursing home but they have a sitter that comes and stays with them all day and takes care of them. Sometimes if family is impressed by a certain nurse assistant they will offer to pay her more money than what she is currently making to just look over and care for their parent. This cuts down on some of the worry people have about nursing homes.