Putting ourselves first

Hello Pose. It is our usual thought that we should always put others before ourselves. But after reading your thought, I think that it sounds very reasonable in these cases. If we cannot take good care of ourselves, how come we take good care of the others that need our help? So in this sense, it is true indeed. I have to agree with you on this point. I admire your being a great thinker in so many things that convince your readers. Keep it up, my dear friend. Take care.

I absolutely agree with your thoughts. I have experienced first hand that if you let yourself get burned out, then you are not doing anyone else any favors anyway. Apart from being well and fit to care for others, it is an example to other people,that you can be a productive and giving person without losing yourself, or saying yes to everything no matter how you feel and then feeling secretly resentful. And example of this is my sister in law, Diane. She is one of the most gentle, generous people I know, one of those people who is just genuinely nice. You could always go to her for help, and she is a great listener and friend. She is also a great mother to two beautifully brought up little boys. But what I so admire about her is that while being this person, she still says no to the things she has to, she still gently but firmly stands up for herself. She is assertive in the best sense of the word. And when she takes time to care for herself, maybe to be alone, or to make herself unavailable on the phone for an evening, I don't think she is selfish - I am inspired that she has given me an example of how to live so that I am atmy best and therefore more available to others. I was brought up very much to think that you shouldn't 'love yourself', that this was selfish. I learned what that mean't the hard way, and practiced not taking care of myself by having an eating disorder. In trying to be everything I was 'supposed to be' I just ended up too obsessed with myself and my disease to even be able to connect with anyone else. Now, I know that taking care of myself means that maybe I will be able to help others who were in my position. Thanks for the discussion.

I do believed that we should put ourselves first but then when it comes to air safety I felt odd with my toddler in my lap and being asked to save myself rather than him. I think it went against my maternal instincts. That was the only time I felt if worst comes to worst I will probably not heed to this warning but then there was logic in that too, I may help him better if I am okay, but what was the use f being okay if I could not save him. I still havenot faced any such grave situation but , I am not so sure what I would have done if God forbid I had to choose.

I agree with you totally since I started to pamper myself by taking care of myself ,so I can be around for my family for a long time.

Put ourselves first is the law to live in the society. Otherwise you will remain behind of all. This look very ethical to help others without expectations, but end of day what you want that is important. If you want mental satisfaction then help others. or you want bodily satisfaction then help yourself first.

Wow, you make a good point, there's no doubt about that. But the one thing that really hit me was when you asked if we should place others before ourselves. While a sick mother who refuses to go to the hospital because she has to take care of her kids- this is kind of stupid, because yes she does put them in danger of catching the sickness. I believe that God should always come first. Others should be next, and then you come last. If you think about it everyone wants joy. This is a small word yes, but it has so much power. J- Jesus (or God) O- others, Y-yourself. Now I'm in no way forcing any beliefs on you. You asked for an opinion and I gave it. Thanks. God Bless.

I totally agree with you on this one. My husband and I make sure that we have taken care of ourselves, so that we may better help take care of the other. Also, if we only relied on others to take care of ourselves not taking care of others, we would only be cared for on their terms, thus allowing them to control us, and not on our terms, since we would leave our care up to them.

i have come lately to this realization that i should really take care of my self too. i do have the responsibility of taking care of my family also. and usually i don't put much importance on my health and happiness. but lately i noticed that my health affects the way i served or help my family and other people as well. and so i am more motivated to do every thing i can do to better my health and so that i can stay healthy and alert and motivated to help other people after taking care of myself. it is like a selfish thing to say to put ourselves first but it is not . it is just being realistic that there is nothing we can do if we neglect our own health.

hi pose ... my parents raised us to believe in putting others first before ourselves... all the children have been following his advise all our lives ... i personally consider this as weakness as i have been like this and people have taken advantage of my wenever possible .. we have to have selfishness at some phase of our life or we will loose our individuality cheers

How true is that.......I really like the points that you have mentioned.....sometimes we get so engrossed in helping other that we forget about ourselves and then we find ourselves in a difficult situation.......I had read about cases where parents have taken a huge loan so that they could support the studies of their children but then when they grow up and start earning they just forget about their parents and go on with their life, making their parents come on streets......I would hate to see such a situation and hence I would never go out of my limits to help someone, because I know that in today's world you cant really trust anyone...... So I would certainly agree with you that it is very important that we take care of ourselves first before looking into others lives....... Great topic pose123 as usual...... Blessings !!!!

Hi, Pose123. You are right about that. We need to take care of ourselves first before attending to other people. But then sometimes, we are bothered by our conscience thinking that we are not good people if we think of ourselves first. This is something we have to unlearn including me as well. Putting ourselves first is not a selfish act, it is just a wise act.

This is true... How are you supposed to love someone else if you couldnt even love yourself? You wouldnt be that lovable, for sure! A good proof of this is on bus accidents. Who gets to be in the safest position? The driver and the one behind the driver! There really are instances in life that you have to prioritize your needs first before you could try assisting others.

Hi Pose, I perfectly agree with u. It is not selfishness, as most people would like us to believe. We would be selfish, if we took away something from other that the other person needed. But that is not what we are doing, are we? Unless we love ourselves, and know what we like, how can v be expected to love others, and do what they like? People have misinterpreted the words to their advantage. I wish more people were aware of what u have stated here. And hope u will succeed in making others realize such truths. :-) Best of luck. :-)

Yes! It Interesting. I like it!

This is a basic lesson, which we must teach the kids as early as possible. However, parents always tell kids to think about the other because they are afraid the kids would grow up selfish. Actually, one can serve the other better only when one takes care of oneself first. Cheers and happy Mylotting

Well said.... I always have said "if you aren't healthy or happy for yourself then you can't be happy or healthy fo others" Following my own advice is a whole other issue. Sometimes I forget to take care of Tammy because I'm busy being Mommy.

I believe in putting the needs of others first. that said, your points are excellent. In order to be useful, prioritizing is key. In order to best serve in any function, you must be in good health and mind. Taking care of yourself, and making sure you do not take on so much that you are overwhelmed, is top priority. It is no use trying to help someone else if you are not fit for the task. This is true at work, at home, in church, in emergencies - wherever. The bible says, "take the log out of your own eye; then you can clearly see to take the splinter from your brother's eye." I believe this is, in part, what that verse refers to. Selfishness will gain you some peace, but you lose so many blessings.