Living with parents after marriage,is it shameful?

it's not shameful friend, but unwise. a married couple should live together and make own living. they become one, not two people anymore. however, a married couple may live with parents, just in case that the parents are not in a stable physical condition, thus they need help.

well for me, in some ways it is not shameful, depends on the reason. If their reason of staying with their parents is that they could not just leave the elders for the reason that they are worried for their safety or the like, that would be ok, but if staying withem is because of taking advantage for some reasons like that they could not afford to seperate for financial problems..that would be shameful. If someone decided to get married, he/she should have known the responsibilities of having his own family. Married couple should not depend on other people for the future of the family they are about to have.

Hi. sunshineyunlong. I think that it is not shameful, as long as the two individuals are learning how to be self sufficient and get on their own. Like, if one or both of them is saving up money or working to get a place of their own. I think that in this case, it is not shameful. But if you have a couple that is just sitting around and not trying to be productive by working, then I would think that this is shameful. They should be trying to find a way to get out of staying with their parents. I had to stay with my in laws a couple of times and it was no fun at all. I went through many issues with my mother-in-law especially. I am glad that my husband, her baby son has put me into a home of our own. I like this more better than staying with her and her husband. Plus s few of her grown adult children as well. My husband was lazy at first, but then he really started working to keep his family in a home. It was rough at first, but by God's grace, my husband is now taking care of his business like he should. As his wife, I am very grateful, because I know at one point and time in our marriage, we did not have it so easy like this. I thank God for being so good to us!

I do not think there is any problem living under the same roof with parents and others after one gets marriage. Earlier when there was joint family system people would live all in a single house but room would be different for different members. I do not understand what is there to be ashamed of living with parents. This is the mentality of the nuclear family where sons get separated after they are married and there is a legit cause too. If the son is a job holder and is in a distant place he surely has to take his wife along.

Personally, if I've a choice, I'd rather stay with my parents after getting married so that I'm able to take care of them instead of living far away. The problem of being shameful is not a problem at all. People perceive it to be shameful because of stereotype - get married, get out of the house and be independent. Everyone does that. It shouldn't be that way. In your cousin's case, it shows clearly that they have to live with their parents because of financial problems, so they can't afford a house. I do not see a big problem here. Parents give birth to you, and now you want to be ashamed to live with them? It just doesn't make sense. Privacy - maybe that's a more acceptable reason. Cheers!

It isn't shameful. First of all the thought of being shameful itself should not come. Usually we are more concerned about the IMAGE of 'us' in the society.[False IMAGE] So the fear of criticism drive us to such thinking of being shameful. Think of a situation where parents are not staying with us. After some time they will need us, for sure. Then it will be practically little bit difficult to adjust[if we dont adjust today]. Now because today's girl has become little independent, she might want to live life with more freedom which she fears she might not get if she stays with her husband's parents.

I don't think it's shameful to live with your parents after your married. I think a person should at least have a place on their own before getting married. Life events can change in an instant and a couple can lose their home. It's nice that they can fall back on their parents to live in their home. This could also happen to the kids parents losing their home. Then the kids should take in their parents until they can get back on their feet. The economy stinks right now, and families needs to pitch in and help each other out.

Hopefully when I get married i am separated with my parents. I want to have my family independently,I want to learn to have a family of my own and how to run it. When you are living with your parents, surely your parents will divulge on your personal problems because being your parents, it doesn't stop them to care for you even you got married. When you are inside their house they have the right to divulge on your personal problems. So I guess its better to live independently. However, there are those like your cousin, maybe that is their decision. We just have to respect that. As your cousin said they don't have a place to be in, too glad that their parents help them still.

No I wouldn't say it's shameful at all. When we were first married my husband and I lived with my parents for a couple of years. We had both quit our jobs to start a company, hired several people and were looking to save costs and get ahead. Although I admit I was very embarrassed, I did know that it was necessary at the time and would only be a temporary situation which it was. Some people did look down their noses at us, but we said that we don't need friends like that. As for strangers, well, who cares what a stranger thinks of you? I won't lie and say it was heaven or anything like that because it wasn't. There was a lack of privacy, living under their "rules", the pair of them often scream so there was always tension & stress around the house. I would say that it was definitely worth it because we went from struggling business owners living with my parents, to very successful business owners and buying a beautiful large home & taking exotic trips regularly. The people that before "shunned" us for living with my parents now want us to be friends, so this time we've "shunned" them right back. ;) Also I just want to mention that family is very important to us and when my parents will be much older, we plan on taking care of them as well.

What is shameful about it? In India there are many joint families. Most people don't know the joy of living together. Its probably because they don't like their parents. Other factor is the place one is living in. In metro cities getting a house can be difficult and costly. Besides if one is poor, they can't afford to buy a new house after marriage. Just because some characters in movies say that its shameful does not make it shameful.

I don't think that is a shameful thing for couples don't afford buying a house or have built a house. Here in the Philippines, that family matter most. This is not a shameful thing. If couples live with their parents. Parents is always supportive in their children even if their children is marriage. Even the couples having their own hose to live. Parents here is always support their children if they know that those couples have no jobs. They support them until they have an stable jobs or income. Not shameful to live with their parents, my friend. That is my views in your discussion. have a nice day!

you said "normally" so i think i can say it is "abnormal" for a married couple to live with one of their parents. however, this is no offense to anybody as sometimes, circumstances make one to choose the not normal situation. however, having no money to buy a house isn't enough of an excuse to live with parents. they can rent like we do. only my husband has a job as i chose to stay at home to take care of our child. i don't think we'd ever get to buy our own house by i can say with pride that we are really standing up on our own as my parents wanted to happen. the only thing i can think of as a verifiable excuse to live with one's parents after marriage is if one of the couple is physically taking care of an ailing parent. peace .

I really don't think that living with parents is shameful & infact it's our responsibility & duty to look after our parents. They fed us when we were young, they kept awake to make sure you slept properly, they repeated the same thing over & over again for hundred times to make us understand. They worked hard to make our lives easier & done each & everything for our betterment & if their children say that its shameful to stay with them, I've got no words to tell them. Happy Lotting

In our country where close family ties is very much valued, it is quite normal for a married couple to live with the parents, and it's not a shameful thing at all. One reason is to help/teach the newly wed couples the basics of the early stages of marriage such as taking care of the baby, etc. or as in the case of your cousin, provide a place to live until they can find their own. Another reason is to take care of the parents since it's not in our culture to leave the parents to the 'home of the aged'. Another one is to keep the family bond intact from the grandparents to the grandchildren. However, there are also disadvantages of living with the parents, and that is privacy. Another one is the control of the household. Some parents would just like to take control of the house rules. Now that's not a very good thing in marriage life. But with enough communication and understanding these disadvantage can easily be solved. One example is by living with the parents in the same compound, wherein they get to be neighbors instead of living under one roof. In this way, the bond of family would remain intact while providing space/privacy to the married couple.

Hey it's a very good discussion i believe because living with parents after marriage is very good thing and in our tradition we definitely live with parents only. Till 25 years they see our total health,food,study everything they will see and now we are thinking to see their health,food and everything. This is our responsibilty as a man i believe.

I do not feel it is shameful to live with parents. In fact most parents would like their children to live with them as they have company and would feel less bored. Teh couple can return home to a ready home-cooked dinner. The parents can also help babysit. It benefits both the parents and the couple. Rather than shame, I think it is glory.

I have to agree with most of the members here that posted a response, that it is not shameful to live with your parents after marriage. But I do think that most couples that just got married wouldn't want to live with their parents so I think that the ones that do, it's usually because of money. It is hard for young couples today to make enough money to save to buy a house so if this is a way that helps them to save and if it is a way they can live without too many problems, I wouldn't be able to stand the no privacy part, then I say good for them. I would be the parent then as my children are grown. My son and his wife do own their own house so I don't have to worry about them and my 26 year old, single, daughter does live with me and that's okay because she is single. But if she were to get married I don't think I would want them both living here. My place is too small and I like me privacy.

I don't think it's shameful to live with parents after marriage. If they're not yet ready to move out and shoulder all expenses they can stay with the parents. But this shouldn't be too long. Maybe a month or two would be fine. That should give them enough time to save money to start their lives on their own. Living with parents when you're already married can cause conflicts. And married couples will never learn to be responsible in raising a family and take care of expenses if they still live with their parents.

Ive been threw this situation and I dont mind saying that Ive been threw it. My parents were great about helping me out and my husband with his inlaws were great. Either way, it was stressing for us privacy wise. We had our issues but they were easily solved afterward. I dont believe this is shameful at all. After all, it is only temporary till you are able to find a place of your own that you can afford, its not like you will be living in your inlaws or parents house forever because they need their privacy as well. So, I dont believe it is shameful, but you have to start our life apart and independant as it should be.

As far as I know, the traditional Chinese ideology encourage people to live with his/her parents. It is considered as a pride if "four generations live under one roof", which is an emblem of happinese. Time goes by and things are changing. Nowadays in big cities, even the countryside, in China, young couples prefer to live apart from parents. But there is no denying that there are still many "big families". of course the old way of living method is not criticized. I also must mention that the "only one child" birth control performed in the past decades and the far from perfect social security make many old parents can not help but rely on their one and only one child. Moreover, the house price is too expensive, as much as an astronomical figures for most of the yough couple. So, living together with your parens is indeed a practical approach.