For Love or For Money?
By jellymonty
@jellymonty (2352)
September 5, 2009 2:01pm CST
I just received the news that three of my nieces are getting married. As thrilled as I am for them but I feel so left out and all alone..
You see all my friends are married or have boyfriends. Every weekend somebody around my neighbourhood is getting married. I am officially the last surviving female who doesn't even have a hair of a boyfriend. So now am actually considering accepting to marry some rich guy so as to not feel left out..
You see I thought I was strong enough to stand on that "girl power" wagon but turns out am a wimp who just wants to be loved for me and not my body. As some of you may know I do have a very wealthy man who really loves me and wants to marry me but I have no feelings of love towards him.. I don't even find him sexually appealing but the funny thing is that now I am seriously thinking I should just say yes and live a stress free financial life with no love or feelings...
It is really very boring now that whenever I go out to a movie or have a drink with my mates they all have a partner and I'm the only one looking pretty but with just a drink in my hand as my companion and I'm getting fed up of this... I know decline to go out because I can't stand anymore "humiliation"
So should I just throw in the towel and marry some rich bloke I don't love or hold on for hope (which I lost a long time ago) that there is still a chance prince charming will show up in his chariot? 
You see all my friends are married or have boyfriends. Every weekend somebody around my neighbourhood is getting married. I am officially the last surviving female who doesn't even have a hair of a boyfriend. So now am actually considering accepting to marry some rich guy so as to not feel left out..
You see I thought I was strong enough to stand on that "girl power" wagon but turns out am a wimp who just wants to be loved for me and not my body. As some of you may know I do have a very wealthy man who really loves me and wants to marry me but I have no feelings of love towards him.. I don't even find him sexually appealing but the funny thing is that now I am seriously thinking I should just say yes and live a stress free financial life with no love or feelings...
It is really very boring now that whenever I go out to a movie or have a drink with my mates they all have a partner and I'm the only one looking pretty but with just a drink in my hand as my companion and I'm getting fed up of this... I know decline to go out because I can't stand anymore "humiliation"
So should I just throw in the towel and marry some rich bloke I don't love or hold on for hope (which I lost a long time ago) that there is still a chance prince charming will show up in his chariot? 15 responses
@doryvien (2284)
• United States
6 Sep 09
Hi Jelly,
It's a normal feeling when everyone else seem to have someone except you. The boredom is an offshoot of the "alone" feeling. But it will be unwise to jump into marriage just because you feel left out - yours will have a shaky foundation of marriage at the onset. Maybe you need to re-channel your interests, focus on other things, and in the meantime enjoy being alone because being alone doesn't necessarily mean being lonely. You can be alone and still be happy. If you don't feel in your heart any possibility of loving the guy in question, it will be unfair to him, and neither you nor him will be happy in the end. You know the song that goes "it's hard to belong to someone else when the right comes along"? You're still young and I'm sure there is someone out there who is meant for you.
@dianmelydia (2269)
• Indonesia
5 Sep 09
Getting married is not a game. You shouldn't getting married for only left out as your reason. You must find someone who are you really love him. As a woman, it is very important to find a good man for become our husband. Looking for a rich man is normal option. The fact is no one want to living in suffer and in poor condition. But, since i believe in fate, i think it depends on your fate about soulmate. I wish you will get the best one. We all agree that money is an important thing in this modern life. No one can life without having money and everyone working for earning money. That's why we all say if money if a very important thing for continuing this life. But, i think as women, we also must work hard and become a good wife. Especially if you can get a rich man as your husband, perhaps he is a business owner, or have a good career in his office and high salary, however as his wive, you should always supporting his job and his feelings. Don't wasting his money for useless things. Well, i wish all the best for you. I hope you'll find your match soulmate soon and getting married and become a good wive for your future husband. Good luck for you. Have a nice day and happy mylotting.
@aprces (1082)
• China
6 Sep 09
Follow the words above,I have something to say below:
No matter how much money you or your partner own,no matter how rich you are and no matter how poor you are.If you really love each other,everything will be O.K. Because love already includes responsibility.If you know what I said,Go ahead!
1 person likes this
@robert19ph (4577)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
hello jellymonty,
i think if you will do that you will be happy in the end for you don't love him. unless ofcourse, you will learn to love him pretty soon. anyway, he is rich just like you said. but if you are still young, why worry of being single still. maybe you can find someone that you really love. but if you are declining going out, how can you meet someone? just ignore when everyone has all her partner and you don't. who knows, soon your prince charming will just appear. you can find love unexpectedly. you don't need to look for him.
@mindym (978)
• United States
6 Sep 09
I empathize with you jellymonty, because I am in the same boat as you. Most of my friends are married or have boyfriends and sometimes I feel left out. But I have heard that good things come to those who wait. I'm still waiting, so hopefully something good will come out of the wait. But I have to say that I would not marry someone I am not attracted to or just for their money. Money does not buy happiness. I would not be happy in a relationship like that, so I would rather be single and happy than married (or in a relationship) and unhappy.
1 person likes this
@kitty42 (3923)
• United States
6 Sep 09
Hello jelloymonty
I would say wait I know its hard watching everyone around you get married but you have to remember they are actually in love to the men they are marrying you don't want to be with someone you don't love you will end up miserable, then your friends will be talking about all the wonderful things they do with their spouses how much they love them and you will still be left out not being able to share these feelings, but you never know you may end up lucky and actually fall in love with this guy he may make your toes curl hmmm, question is are you willing to take the chance? 
I would say wait I know its hard watching everyone around you get married but you have to remember they are actually in love to the men they are marrying you don't want to be with someone you don't love you will end up miserable, then your friends will be talking about all the wonderful things they do with their spouses how much they love them and you will still be left out not being able to share these feelings, but you never know you may end up lucky and actually fall in love with this guy he may make your toes curl hmmm, question is are you willing to take the chance? 1 person likes this
@eyesighting (30)
• China
6 Sep 09
I also feel very lonely if yoor friends have boy friends, I think you should make date and take the boys who you like when party and other activities, however, dating is one thing, married is another thing.
marrying is an important thing, don't do ti for impultion
1 person likes this
@mariposaman (2959)
• Canada
6 Sep 09
I would tell you I am available but I am twice your age and certainly not rich.
How awful is this guy, this rich guy. Some women have been striving all their life to be in a position where they have a rich guy on the line. What they end up with usually is some cheater that teach them rotten and then getting divorced after having two or three kids.
Who says you have to marry for love anyways? In some societies marriages are arranged and you do not even get to meet your spouse till the day of the wedding. They say they actual divorce rate is way much lower in these type of societies.
If I met a woman that was rich and half decent looking and was not too far out of my age range I certainly would consider marriage as sometimes you can learn to love the one you're with a set of subscribing to some romantic notion that a knight on a white horse will come galloping into your life and sweep you off your feet.
Then again it is your life and you have to choose what is best for you. All the best.
How awful is this guy, this rich guy. Some women have been striving all their life to be in a position where they have a rich guy on the line. What they end up with usually is some cheater that teach them rotten and then getting divorced after having two or three kids.
Who says you have to marry for love anyways? In some societies marriages are arranged and you do not even get to meet your spouse till the day of the wedding. They say they actual divorce rate is way much lower in these type of societies.
If I met a woman that was rich and half decent looking and was not too far out of my age range I certainly would consider marriage as sometimes you can learn to love the one you're with a set of subscribing to some romantic notion that a knight on a white horse will come galloping into your life and sweep you off your feet.
Then again it is your life and you have to choose what is best for you. All the best.
1 person likes this
@thea09 (18305)
• Greece
6 Sep 09
Hi jellymonty, I just can't see the rush to get married just because others are doing it and you've still got lots of opportunities to meet new friends and men. I would say definitely better to marry a man with money than one who can't support himself properly but there's just no need to marry someone for the sake of it and I coudn't contemplate it with someone who wasn't appealing in the right way.
Love can certainly wear off though when you live with someone day in and day out so I don't think marrying for that reason either is enough.
I'd say don't think in terms of marriage at all, tell the rich guy you'll just be friends and go out and find some passion somewhere. And there's years for the right one to come along in, trust me.
@stephwrites (275)
• United States
6 Sep 09
jellymonty, I agree with those who have said it is not a good idea to marry only for money. and especially if you are not attracted to this man.
Have you tried the online dating sites? I've heard a lot of great stories. match dot com or eharmony are the best ones. and they match people based on the heart and not looks or money. it's not too late until they lower you into the ground! we don't know where yet but there is someone out there that will love you just the way you are.
1 person likes this
@advokatku (4033)
• Indonesia
6 Sep 09
why do not you marry me? I am not a rich man but I can make you happy. I am not a romantic guy like in the novel but I believe with love
@homeshoppers (6166)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
i know a lot will say they will go for love as love is hard to find and it will bring meaning to your life, it will give you inspiration in everything you do. but of course on the other hand, we also consider money to be practical enough since we already know what life could be without it. its easy to say its alright as long as they love each other. but t the end, when the family grow up or if they have kids, problem will occurs regarding money. and a lot get separated or divorce because of it. so i guess its better if we could go for love and at the same time be stable enough and earn a lot before entering to marriage.
1 person likes this
@freakme6582 (52)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
How old are you anyway? You see I'm getting married myself in two weeks time but it took us 5 years before me and my partner decided to hitch. I don't think marrying this guy because you feel left out will make you happy. Marriage is about love and happiness, if you don't have both, then it ain't gonna work.
All you'll have is a wedding and not a marriage..
@marctiu (829)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
I know just how you feel. I can feel it while reading your statements. I know that it is not easy staying with the one you don't truly love. In the end you'll just be breaking his heart. Love is not a game we all like to play around. This is a serious relationship between two people. It's all about commitment.
You can not just pick love at the street you have to earn it and you need tp get hold of it so that it won't be lost. It is like money but money can always be replaced, but love can't be once you have broken it there's no way of saying that it can still be fix.
If I were to choose I would choose to have a stressful life with some one to hold on with me and care for me in times of hard time than having a stress-free life and no one is there to caress me and give me a life.
1 person likes this
@masterunder (3)
• Morocco
6 Sep 09
This is the best discussion
For money and love are linked by the relationship
If the money is full of happiness and love for the opposite her love without money
good Luck
1 person likes this
@skaterx (530)
• Finland
5 Sep 09
I think that's the wrong way to think. I'm sure you would be attracted to somebody, just gotta go out and find them. But its admirable that the man loves u, but why does he really love you if you are not actually with him, or haven't felt any love for him? What does he love you for?
1 person likes this
