What do you do, when after 8 years he tells you he gave up after the first 5?

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After being married for 8 years and no real big arguments my husband just blew up and confessed that he gave up on our marriage after the first five years. This was a couple of years ago, but the memory of that day haunts me every day. My husband has been an over the road truck driver almost ever since we first got married. He's gone all week and sometime he's also gone on the weekends. I have two children from a previous relationship and he has two boys from a previous relationship. He's never guaranteed to be home on the weekends that he doesn't have visitation with his boys. I am left with taking care of making sure the bills get paid, the house stays clean, and my two kids get taken care of. He only has visitation with his two, so they live with their mom. Well with taking care of everything I kept leaving him out of the decision making of things that, I agree, should have been a joint decision. I purchased several things that I later found out he did not want at all. I didn't realize it at the time, but I didn't discuss it with him, I more told him what I was doing or what I already did. Granted, I knew he didn't particularly care for some of the things but thought that since I was the one who was going to be home more, then I should be able to get what I wanted. After all, he only had to deal with the stuff everyother weekend. Quite honestly, at the time, this was the attitude he gave me as well. Anyway, I had noticed for a while that he had been very distant. The once funny happy man I married was now quiet, depressed and seemed almost angree all the time. That was except for when he interacted with his boys. They still got the joking fun-loving fun man that I once married. I also noticed he got on me about every little thing my daughter did wrong. Mostly leaving her things lying around or not turning things off when she left a room. But, never said a word when his boys would do the very same thing. One day he complained about her leaving the basement light on and when she left her room to turn it off he complained about her leaving her tv on. I had just had enough of his nit-picking and left the table. When he asked me what the problem was, I went off about it. Like I said before it was mainly because I'd see the same type of behavior from his boys and he seemed to be able to ignore that. Besides the fact it was her birthday. I mean, come on, give the kid a break on her birthday. He then started in on me, and the past came full force right in my face! About things that I didn't realize were such a big deal. Things that I had completely forgotten about and things that I didn't even think about. He was upset about the stuff I had mentioned above. (The dicision making without discussing things like a couple and coming to a mutual agreement.) He was upset because he felt like all he was good for was a paycheck, to cook on the weekends, and to do laundry. I didn't really know how to tell him I felt the same way. Only my version goes more like, well with his pissy attitude at least he brings home a paycheck, likes to cook when he's home, and helps with laundry. The thing that hurts the most is that he kept repeating over and over again, "I gave up after the first five years!" Like I said it's been two years since that's happened. I've tried to improve myself on how I handle things. I've tried to make up for some of the things I did. Like one thing was that he never liked a van I picked out. I sold the van and bought him a new grill. Way back a friend of his wanted to give us a convertable. This was one of those things I barely remember when it was brought up. What I do remember is that it was left up to me. The car looked pretty worn out and I remember the seats were horrid. So I said I didn't want it. Yes, He was mad at me about that. Again I didn't know he was mad about it until years later. Anyway, to make up for it I found a 88 mustang convertable that he got. Believe me I asked him several times if he was sure he wanted it. Didn't want that coming back on me years later too. I've tried to get him more involved in our financial desicions and major purchases. (when we can afford such a thing.) The question that haunts my mind on an almost daily basis, is does this stuff even matter. I mean will anything I do now make up for the mistakes I made in the past. If he gave up after the first five years how and when will I know that he's willing to give our marriage another chance. We're still married, he said he still loves me. He still never says, "I love you" unless I say it first. At one time if someone were to ask me if I were happily married, I could easily say yes. Now I don't know how to answer that question. It often feels like we're just going through the motions. What else can I do to make him understand that now that I know what was wrong, I'm trying to fix it and make up for my mistakes the best I can? How can I get him to contribute to our relationship again? I don't even know how to talk to him about it. I don't know if it's because I'm afraid of what I'll hear or that I'm afraid he'll either clam up or just go off the handle again.