Am I too serious-minded to be a good employee?
By lingye
@lingye (57)
China
September 9, 2009 11:25pm CST
I am working as a Researcher&Developer in a big company. I love my job at beginning and try to make everything well done. But recently,conflict occures between me and my manager. As a technologist, I think it's necessary to be serious and logical.But he is a person who get many ideas but lots of them make no sence at all.What bothers me most is that he always insist his ideas be accepted and tested. So we have to test and do experiment,although the outcome can be forseeen already.
Explainations and arguments won't work at all, after trying several times,I finally gave up.
Now, I am trying to find another job, but have not got any result. I am really curious that why my colleagues are still so calm,although they complain privately,but still go on with him harmoniously.
Is it really my fault?Am I too serious or demanding towards others?
3 people like this
13 responses
@lamar91 (25)
•
11 Sep 09
I think you just went a bit far maybe ,i think when you are employed you should follow the instructions of the manager ,but if certain decisions he makes are not acceptable then no blame shall be on you .
The point here is i would advice you to follow your manager ,execute the job you have been assigned with fairness and respect of your dignity .
Also you wouldn't want your employer to be making decisions over you ,don't worry learn from those mistakes for your next job .
thanks
@lingye (57)
• China
14 Sep 09
Thanks for you advice. When I was employed, he is not my manager. When the primary manager left, he take over. At the beginning, I got assignment from my manager, try to work it out and gave out my idea and the result. But after his taking charge, I get not only the assignment but also the method how to do it, my work is to "test", if the method won't work, another method will come. Oh, just think it, I am also professional, I don't need these methods, I can come out with some with my own brain. Is this the "management"? and which kind of management make more sense? The primary manager or my present manager?
@rg0205 (2636)
• Hong Kong
10 Sep 09
I am in Sales, Acquisitions and Marketing. Part of my work requires me to do R&D from time to time and my boss is the same.
Sometimes I think the ideas "sound good" but they only "sound good". It won't work for reasons that are obvious to me...but for him, try first before you say no. Part of me thinks it's a waste of money sometimes but we just go with the plan anyway because he is the boss and it is his money.
It's good that you care about the Company but sometimes I think it is good to try things before turning them down. Argument is useless but just try to reason with him. If he doesn't think you're right, never mind then let the experiment go on because it is not your money.
If your senior management notices that there are many failed experiments then they will do something about it. I think you are a good employee but you need to change the way you react so that you dont feel bad or frustrated.
I dont think youre demanding
@lingye (57)
• China
11 Sep 09
You are the experienced one! A senior manager have already noticed the question, because most of our experiments are failed recently. She have a talk with me today. She said I should try to accept his shortcomings and mistakes come up sometimes. I said it is not sometimes but always. She asked me to reason with him, "you should not just stand by to let it happen". I am confused, to reason with a self-opinioned guy is really a suffering. Maybe things will be better, because the senior manager is likely to do something.
@kevchua (1004)
• Malaysia
11 Sep 09
You're doing what you do best in your job but apparently your boss doesn't want to listen to you because he's a hard-headed person, and believes that only he is right. As long as you DO as he says (no matter if it's wrong), he'd be satisfied and won't bug you. Your other colleagues know that nothing can be changed, and it's hard to get a job, so just go with the flow. Your boss wants it that way, they'll do it and show the experiments don't work. Yeah, you have expectations but no one probably shares the same expectations as you. No, it's not your fault because that is how you work. While waiting for a better job offer, I suggest you stay low and just "go with the flow". No point arguing - makes you angry; makes your boss unhappy.
Thats my point of view.
@cherrc (661)
• Philippines
10 Sep 09
hi lingye! i know where u're coming from. same thing happened to me. but i hope u can try this one just in case another thing needs to be settled. do not outshine the master. be it intentional or inadvertently, do not do so. your point must be proven in silence. it's like the king who requested for the construction of the castle without any foundation and so his architect had told him but he never listened. and so the castle collapsed. uve said it once, uve made ur point. and when the time comes that u're in the same position, i hope u will be a better leader in handling the work because definitely u will also be a good listener. good luck. stay with him, ull never know, he might take some pieces of advice from u eventually. :)
@lingye (57)
• China
14 Sep 09
That really helpful, I am not a considerate person. Especially in working place, what I care most is how to do things efficiently and my valuable time should not be wasted. He is not a sophisticated manager, he was promated because he has been here many years and we are all new ones compared to him. Maybe he is just strugling to handle all these things and has already confused.
Maybe I should attempt to save face for him to give him a relief, Especially in front of pther colleagues and senior leaders. But he is really a illogic person, and we've got many tasks recently, and things are really messed up. I hope he can make some progress in future .
@qqyyzk469 (108)
• China
11 Sep 09
It's not your fault.He is boss,so he is right.Your fault is you are not boss.SO,IF You like the job or the job has a good career future,be patient and stay in the company,and work hard to be the boss,or leave and to find a better job.It's common,so just listen,and try to prove he is wrong,and do your job.It's your duty,right? It's a hard choice.Good luck.
@lingye (57)
• China
14 Sep 09
You are totally right. I am not the boss, I've not got the right to make decision. Even if I care so much aboat the outcomes of the decision, and be aware that we can be more efficient, I can do nothing. As a ordinary employee, my functon is: supose the senior guys are right, make clear what they want, and do jobs they assigned to me.
@southernmostbird (11)
• United States
10 Sep 09
I've been in a similar position before and I think the bigger problem comes from second-guessing superiors. Although sometimes, as a worker, it's easy to predict what an outcome will be, it is necessary to defer to higher-ups and consider their ideas, even if they're not ideal. I don't think that "serious and demanding" is what's going on, necessarily. It sounds more like you're a perfectionist and just want what's best for the company. I don't think anyone is really at fault, but I do think it's important to recognize your company's hierarchy.
@lingye (57)
• China
14 Sep 09
Maybe you are right, at the annual talking(a senior manager has a year-end talking with everyone), the senior leader told me:" you don't need more reasons to defer to him. he is your manager, that is sufficent". But a new talking with her last week, after most idears of my manager have failed, and plans remain uncomplete, she said" you should not just stand by to let things happen, why don't you reason with him".
He take charge of another field of works and got no experience in my field, but it is he who make the decision. Maybe this is the point. If I give too much advice, he will be annoyed. If not, maybe some improper decision will be made.
@musicman6 (2407)
• United States
10 Sep 09
From the sounds of it, you may be too serious or demanding to blend in with your manager,(and that is not a bad thing),but he is in charge! And really you are not wrong, but for now, it may be better for you to 'roll with the flow'! But one of these days, you will be the one that will have seniority, or be in charge, and your seriousness and demanding will be a rewarding asset, in accomplishing something that others will not be able to accomplish! That is when you will reap your rewards, and others will look up to you!
@lingye (57)
• China
10 Sep 09
Thank you,it's very comforting. Silly it seams to leave a job just because of one person, if you love the job and have developed really good relationships with other colleagues. Getting another job doesn't mean the problem is solved, maybe there is another guy to deal with. Oh, but it's really hard for me to "roll with the flow", Maybe I need more experience to learn to deal with different people.
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
10 Sep 09
I think this works differently for different people. Don't worry about it so much and if your heart is no longer there, it's best to move on. All the best for your new job hunt and hopefully you'll be able to get a job that will be filled with a happy work environment.
@lingye (57)
• China
10 Sep 09
Thank you! And best wishes for you! I think everyone has their own attitude towards life. Some people enjoy a stable life, they accept and enjoy what is presented to them. Some people ike to try different ways, when there is no challenge, they move on. For me, as a straight and frank guy, "Mr. Always Right" is difficult to bear. Dislike or uncomfort? OK! just go. Maybe it's a cool attitude???
@sissi320 (328)
• China
10 Sep 09
Don't be so worry.
I think it is not your fault.
Serious is a good charater for en engineer. But for the manager, he must have his own charater as a person or a management guy.
So, most time, we do need our boss's support for our work. But we must be understanding for the requirment of our boss.
But anyway, everything will be OK for you.
@lingye (57)
• China
10 Sep 09
You are very kind and thoughtful. My friend also told me to put my feet in his shoes and check what he want, maybe you can understand him. But for me, devotion to company is improtant, what is also improtant is my personal development. Now,his "total control" has already limited my own thoughts. Changing a job maybe a better choice, I will try.
@cbakin20 (149)
• United States
10 Sep 09
It isn't your fault any more than it is his. The problem here is just that the two of you don't get along together. That is often the problem in companies where you get placed in one group and have no chance to try out what you want to do. The manager has total control and he knows it, so you can't tell him to do anything. This is problematic, but there's nothing you can do about it. Sometimes you can complain about him to someone higher up in the company and get the problem resolved, but often times you just have to leave the company and try to find a different job.
@lingye (57)
• China
10 Sep 09
Yeah, you are right.A good manager should be a leader and director. He can assign jobs to his fellows and check how it's going, but should not interfere in details how it should be done. That's the points. My manager always try to inspect the details of our plan,and give advises(to be exactly,orders).
To avoid the continuously dispute, I try to use mails to discuss some problems,and send a copy to a senior leader. But that won't work at all.
You know, in a company, relationships is very important, he is more sophisticated.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
10 Sep 09
It's not your fault, your stupid manager likes to make an illusive idea and doesn't care about probabilities. it's good thing you got out of there. otherwise, it could have been worse, than it is. you're the technician, this has come way too far for the manager to boot.
@lingye (57)
• China
11 Sep 09
You are a frank person, just like me. A senior manager have a talk with me today, I told her what I think completely. I don't know if my action will make things better or worse, maybe the senior manager will do something helpful, maybe the interposition of her will trigger his dislike for me.
@grace118224 (1038)
• China
10 Sep 09
As you know that somebody is working just for work while most people is working for life. I can totally understand your colleagues . They might not like the manager just like you but they have to stay in this company so they are calm . For reasons they need this job very much so they won't have arguments with the manager. When dreams make conflicts with reality reality will win finally. Well if you are able to find another job and i support you to find a more suitable place for you.
@lingye (57)
• China
11 Sep 09
You are right. When dreams make conflicts with reality, dreams are surely the one be given up. I need the job too, just like others. If not, maybe I have left already. But we got different characters, it's just more difficult for me to surrender(I don't know if it is the exact word).
I have my confidence of getting a now job.
@TheAdvocate (2392)
• Philippines
10 Sep 09
Serious might not be the word you are looking for. I think your dedication to your job is exemplary, but the better question would be, am I taking it too personally? From your narration, I cannot see the irrationality of his approach. You just have divergent views which is not necessarily bad. I suggest you just look at it as a learning experience and not dwell on it. When you find a job, then leave him to his illogical approach. Best of luck in your job-hunting!
@lingye (57)
• China
10 Sep 09
Thank you for your response, I guess you are a rational person. I admit that I'm a little badtempered, so does he. So if conflict comes out, I usually try to calm myself down,then attempt to communicate with him patiently. Even failed, I do what he said all the same,although reluctantly.
But one thing recently really tryed my patience. Our normal working procedure is deciding a new method,doing the test,analyzing the experiment data,if OK,then integrate into the products. But he urged a new method be integrated into a product without testing, the reason is "surely it will work". After two month, I finally get it all done. We were all expecting to see how it works, but the result disappointed all of us. Two month wre wasted because an arbitrary decision.
And I know the same thing will happen again.
I tryed to be more patient,to be a tolerant person, to accept other's distinct behavior, because we are a team, but it's really hard.
