How Do You Let Others Know You Don't Want To Be Disturbed?
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
September 12, 2009 5:00am CST
When you need some quality time alone and never seem to get five minutes to yourself, do you sometimes wish that you lived alone? Or even had your own space, or just a bit of freedom so you can truly relax indoors?
Do you have a hectic life style or a busy day at work and when you come home you don't want to be disturbed by the rest of the family or even your partner?
How do you let your nearest and dearest know that you want some time alone on your own, to be left alone and NOT disturbed?
Do you have a facial expression that is familiar and can be read as 'Mum wants to be left alone, lets go and pester dad instead'? or your partner sees that 'certain look' and knows to leave you alone
Or do you just tell them straight 'I am going to my room for an hour for example and I do NOT want to be disturbed'
Do they honour your free time alone? Or do you go into your room but can't relax because you know darn well that they are going to come knocking or pester you, or ignore your I need to be alone, leave me alone crisis time?
Or do you put a big notice on your door 'DO NOT DISTURB' and how many times has it been ignored, because of 'selective sight' and that they didn't notice the sign even though it was massive and starring straight at them, that they couldn't fail to miss it!
6 people like this
28 responses
@moneymakingtoday (4061)
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
if i want to have my own time and space, i tell all of them that i want to rest for a while and don't want to be disturbed. i tell them that they can go ahead with a meal, leaving me with my rest.
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
12 Sep 09
I felt it sometimes specially when I am very tired, i don't want anybody disturbed me but of course living alone is impossible. No man is an island, i think it is very lonely to line far away from anybody. Imagine to isolate yourself from others, it seems you have a virus. LOL
1 person likes this
@malpoa (1214)
• India
13 Sep 09
While at home i just shut myself in my room. There has been instances of me keeping shut all day...I simply dislike to face people then, leave alone talk to them...all at home knows the sign of this door being shut...I dislike anybody asking about it too, I will only open when I feel like and open up only when I am in mood to.
Phone would be on silent mode. Or else I go out alone...These are times when I need some me-time.
2 people like this
@malpoa (1214)
• India
14 Sep 09
I do not generally switch off the phone, because if I do that, later when I get calls, I will have to explain to them why it was off. I do not like letting the whole world know about my mood swings, so I keep it on silent and later when they call or I answer back, I tell them some excuse.
While all others understand my need for some private space, it gets difficult after a fight or argument with my husband hi hi, even if I shut myself in our room, he would keep knocking. Then the last step will be to get into the bathroom and relax there, and think of ways to make look bathroom refreshing hi hi!!!
2 people like this
@nannacroc (4049)
•
12 Sep 09
I'm quite lucky now, Mr Croc knows not to disturb me and, if the girls turn up when I want to be on my own, I tell them to help themselves to anything they want and go to my bedroom. They know better than to disturb me then. From when my girls were small I would make sure they were in bed early and even as teenagers, they would go to their rooms as soon as I said I was tired.
Being the last of five and living in a house designed for a family with just mum and dad, the others were all married and moved out, meant I've always had my own space. I don't know how I'd cope without it.
2 people like this
@sweetie1026 (1718)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
I just tell them that i want to be alone and luckily they let me have that time alone. They would just knock on the door to ask if i am going to eat with them or not. I think it is best to tell them straight that you want to be alone, so they would not be wondering on what's wrong or what is the problem. Tell them if you want to relax or just take a short nap or just lie on your bed, enjoying your time alone.Then, after that time alone you would be joining them on whatever they are busy with and have some fun with them. But at least you have had your time alone and has enjoyed your privacy.I think that won't be a big deal for them.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
13 Sep 09
The direct approach is best, yes then it doesn't give any uncertainties or people won't feel that they've done something wrong. In a word communication wins, then people are aware, it's the not knowing that's the worst and if you want to be left alone and explain why then you yourself can relax more knowing that you haven't sent out mix messages. Thank you my friend and have a great Sunday too ;0)
1 person likes this
@sweetie1026 (1718)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
Yes, often than not keeping people we love, in the dark about what is going on with us makes it more complicated. So, i think that is the best way, so we will all be in peace.My Sunday was good and it is almost over, thank you, my friend.
1 person likes this
@zeethegr8 (785)
• India
13 Sep 09
Often I try to tell them clearly so that the person understands quickly and I'm free to do my work or rest. But it depends from person to person, at times if I know the person is not the kind who will take a direct say from me, I ignore their talks and continue doing my work. Automatically when they see that I'm not interested, they give up and move on.
2 people like this
@PeacefulWmn9 (10420)
• United States
13 Sep 09
Hi Wolfie. I had the luxury of living alone for a year and a half....ahhhh, bliss!
When my children were young it was harddddd to find alone time, but as they grew older, they understood when I said Mommy has to be alone and get a few things done...then I simply went into the bedroom.
Now, my partner and I have no qualms whatsoever about simply smiling and stating, I'm going for a ride, or I'm doing some reading and thinking in the bedroom because I need some alone time.
Good luck finding yours. It can be done, I promise :D
Karen2 people like this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
12 Sep 09
Hello wolfie. First of all, I am very happy to be with my family, let alone get disturbed, but when I work in the school, during my weekends, I won't turn on my cell phone to avoid getting called for some extra work for free by my immediate boss. I do this in order to enjoy my own time during my days off.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Sep 09
hi wolfie I wish to God I knew how to get my motormouthed'room
mate to shut up while i sit here typing. she goes on and on and I
try by not answering her to make her just stop for a short time'anyway.but she has to talk even to herself all the time.
ugh. I think shes a nice lady but still a bit ditsy and she just'
canot stop talking I mean constantly.you would think her mouth'would get sore or her throat muscles or well something. one cannot murder just for the sake of quiet can I? oh well could be worse I guess.
1 person likes this
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
12 Sep 09
Sorry Hatley, maybe you can put in for a change of rooms? I don't know say there are differences there. Wish it were easier for you.
@pixeltwistr (613)
• United States
12 Sep 09
OMG wolfie....how did you know just what I am thinking about??? LOL..
Man I am going through this right now....
My husband has been out of work for a loooooooong time now and it is starting to really get on my nerves!!! And we dont have two nickles to rub together right now so I cant go anywhere to escape....lol
I really dont deal with it well....I am starting to get "itchy" now so when he asked why I told him that two people should not be together 24 hors a day 7 days a week...thats just too much togetherness....but apparently he didnt get it cause when it was time to go pick up my daughter from school he decided to come with me....
If I go in the bedroom and close the door he is in there a minute later asking me if im ok, if i feel well..etc etc...
Hey dont get me wrong...its nice that he cares......but i need a break before I break....lol
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
12 Sep 09
Scream! I know you want to, that is exactly how I feel, I need my privacy, independence, freedom an escape where I can be alone, left alone and not bugged, harrassed, pestered, and asked 'You ok?' al the time I know sometimes they mean well obviously but you just don't want it. Have you tried going for a walk, is there a park or wood where you feel safe enough to walk alone. I find sometimes just going to the local park to feed the ducks is therapeutic for me. The walls can close in on you and you can get so suffocated even by the ones that you love. Time out is needed otherwise you will get ill and start to resent your partner.
@pixeltwistr (613)
• United States
12 Sep 09
Yeah sometimes i think about taking off and going for a drive or something....but the second i even glance towards the front door i get "where ya goin hun??"
lol.....rather that explain that i am trying to get away from him so i dont kill him or something i just dont bother...lol...
I keep praying he will find some work SOON!!
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
15 Sep 09
Hi wolfie34
I think I lost the right to some peace and quiet the second I had kids hahaha. On a Friday and Saturday night I allow the kids to watch dvd's and usually they will stay in their beds and in their rooms but I do tell them that if mummy's bedroom door is shut then you don't come in and don't disturb mummy. They have their dvd to watch and should have no reason to disturb me but they sometimes find an excuse to come and sit with me to watch telly but I don't mind too much!
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
15 Sep 09
hi wolfie ..
i have lots of those moments, where i want to be left alone .. sometimes i know it is bad but i really want it ..
Since we dont have children and my husbands enjoys his "bachelor time out" i will ask him to go and enjoy some time with his friends
and i will be on the net .
cheers
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8341)
•
16 Sep 09
I get to much time on my hands as it is and if someone comes knocking I normally drag them in.If my son wants to be left alone It is easy to spot as he tells me to stop talking,my husband normally nods off or goes quiet and I leave him alone.Me I am up for a chat anytime.
@calai618 (1773)
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
I am a very exclusive type of a person and I am so glad that my family and friends know and respect that. When I need some quality time alone and do important stuff for myself, I just start to get quiet and people will notice that I am trying to have some space.
1 person likes this
@derek_a (10873)
•
12 Sep 09
I guess I am fortunate in having my own home office where, if I close the door, I know I will not be disturbed. There is only just me and my wife living here, but she knows that I practice meditation and gives me the space to do so. I can fully relax knowing that I won't be disturbed. If the door is ajar, then she will know that I probably just working on the computer and will come in if she needs anything. 
- Derek
- Derek1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
12 Sep 09
Hi wolfie, Yes, I do like some time alone and I usually get it by simply asking that I not be disturbed, but sometimes the telephone will ring or my wife may come quietly into the room looking for something. I tell her that no matter how quiet she is I will still here her. The telephone is a different matter, I don't like to turn it off, so I just have to take my chances. Usually if I choose the right time of day for my quiet time everything goes fine. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@ladyhope (377)
• Canada
12 Sep 09
I don't have kids, but I just moved out with my boyfriend about 6 months ago and sometimes I find it hard to get some alone time. Its a big change going from having my own place to sharing everything with someone. When I get home from work or night class, I just want some time to wind down so I usually just tell him. He is starting to realize that he shouldn't "bother" me right when I walk in the door.
1 person likes this
@SuperJelly (320)
• Malawi
12 Sep 09
I do not hesitate to tell them that I am busy and no disturbance. We do not have to beat about the bush here. Tell or show them that you are busy.
1 person likes this
@gracefuldove (1668)
• Malaysia
12 Sep 09
I will just let everyone knows I will be in my room and not to be disturbed. They will all understand. That is the way, we all do to get privacy in this house. We all respect each others' wishes. Sometimes, we know that s member need to get up late on Sundays, so we let that person be . He would have to take care of his own breakfast possibly lunch.
1 person likes this
