That tiny two-letter word, "no..."

Nope, have never had a problem saying NO ever since I came to the realizaiton that, hey, you know what....I am important too! You are so right, time is short, obligations are long, and there are never enough hours in a day or days in a week. I think with age comes the wisdom that we can only do what we can do. Unless it is something that I really want to do and can deveote myself fully to, I no longer have a problem with saying NO. We tend to do it to our children too. Poor little things are over-extended with school, sports, extra activities and the like. I wonder if we have taken the fun out of being kids? There will always be times we just can't say no, you know, like to your mom or grandma, or loved ones; but other than that you are, and always should be able to consider yourself also.

hi karen I have always had that problem as I didnt like to turn'down anyone or hurt someones feelings so ended up over tired and grumpy and my hubby would say why cant you just no I cannot do that. just that one little word. My branch manager,when I was still working,was great for putting one in a spot where if you said no it would look like you were not a good employee. I just hated that, and also she was bi polAr and wouldnt go to the doctor and take meds to control it,so you never knew if she was going to be growling like a bear at all of us or as sweet as a little lamb.so she got yes out of most of us.I was so glad to retire from her. whew.

Hi Karen! It all depends upon the situation. If I am in my office and my boss asks me to perform or complete a job, I would find it difficult to say ‘No’. I would not like to displease my boss. However, if the job is such which is beyond me, I would politely decline stating that Sir, I am unable to perform it and I would explain the reasons to him. However, if I am among my friends and it is difficult for me to comply with any of their requests, I would plainly say ‘No’, they may feel displeased in the beginning; however, gradually they will realize my position. If I am at home and my better half asks for performing anything, it will be much easier for me to say ‘No’, in comparison to the above two situations…………LOL! Deepak

hi karen madam, i could not understand your discussion,could you explain more or i think that it is excess work at office,is it correct,if it is compulsory we have to do,if the boss unnecessarily giving trouble at late hours,we have to say sorry,have a nice day

Hi Karen...I am finally back in business. I had to get a new computer. I use to have trouble saying no to anyone without having a guilty feeling for saying no even though I had nothing to feel guilty about. I don't have that problem anymore and I haven't for a long time. I don't ask anyone for help with anything that way I don't feel I owe them anything. Some people prey on those who are weak and can make them feel guilty for not doing what is asked of them and I grew up with this and now that I don't feel guilty anymore about saying no...I am a much happier person. flutterby

Hello my friend I use to have this problem but not anymore, I will say not in a heartbeat and wont feel bad about it, for years it was always hard to say the words, I would say I can't right now because or give me a few minutes knowing I don't want to do it grrr that is one habit I am glad to be rid of. People take advantage of people like this, they seem to sniff you out, and will use it for as long as you let let them So not worth it in the long run, only one that end up hurt is you, I had my days and it really stinks. Thank you my friend.

I should have said no to a bunch of things & to a bunch of people over the years but i didn't so now i pay the price for some of those times.

I'm the opposite, I have no problem saying no but am aften too reluctant to say yes. If I really don't want to do something then I don't have a problem giving people a straight out 'no'. One thing that really bothers me is when people can't say no so they agree to do something they don't want to and then weasel out of it or just not show up. It's so much easier to tell someone no and just deal with it. By saying yes and then letting people down when they've counted on you all it does is make you look untrustworthy.

Hello my friend PeacefulWmn9 Ji, Well, it is difficult to support your concept. I do not think a person can work even after exhausting oneself. At times, we all undermine. I remember, when my Hubby was in Sevices, it happened amny times taht he had to see the work done till its completion, but it was everyone's duty to share the load in rotation. In fact, it is a duty of head to ensure, everyone gets one's due, so that proper energy is maintained at all segments in any organisation. If this happens, 'NO' will exist no more. May God bless You and have great time.

Hi peacefulWmn9, this topic surely brought my attention when I saw Jim Carrey's movie Yes Man. He always do say YES and it was really absurd and unethical already. If you watch the movie, you will know what I mean. Ok back to the topic, well I don't have a problem saying NO actually. From relatives, when they were borrowing money, the answer would sometimes be yes, if we really have money, and sometimes if our budget is really tight, we would simply say NO because there's really nothing to pull out of the pocket and they would understand. About working extra hours, nope, I haven';t experience that my boss would ask me to render some more hours of work. They don't like to pay extra amount like OT . For me I don't like to compromise something that I cannot do so I have to be honest and just say No, rather than to put effort and all till you get anxiety and pressure and stress which I really don't like. Happy Mylotting.

I have no problem whatsoever saying no and I do not feel guilty about it. Once you start doing it you actually feel quite good. I left that problem in the dust when I was in my early twenties and I haven't looked back.

Hi Karen, I confess without the slightest guilt that I have no problem at all in saying 'no'. If I were to do something out of obligation it would make me feel resentful. I equally have no problem saying yes when that also fits in. We know ourselves and what is best for us and I prefer a stress free life and to ensure it stays that way I have no problem at all with that little word. The people I know who can't say no even when they want to gain nothing but stress from it and then wish they'd had the courage to say no in the first place.

Hi friend People has the attitude problem to say no to every thing. You cann't aviod it let the thing go smoothly. You keep yourself updated don't be exhausted with this type of nature.

yes, it is very difficult to say NO to requests especially if these come from ur loved ones. there are occasions in the past that i regretted having said YES instead of NO to a situation and i ended up battling with myself with that problem. i have often used NO when the children were younger. this i used as a matter of discipline and to tell them that some things aren't just possible whenever they want it. it may be difficult to say NO but i am not a totally YES person. i have learned to say NO and in fact, used it several times in the past already. i don't want myself feeling exhausted, bitter, sorry, sad and guilty by giving in to requests from people. at work, for instance, i have learned to say NO to other people's work being passed to me for reasons that i work faster. i politely turn them down saying that i still have to do my personal responsibilities and may not be able to attend to them immediately. i am happy they understand what i intend to say.

I've learned to finally say no when I'm asked by anyone except my kids, I can't ever say no to them. Two of them are on their own and even if it puts me out, I help them whether I really don't have the time or money to do it, it's kind of funny, I couldn't tell them no when they were little either. I used to do everything for everyone no matter what they asked but came to the realization that those same people I put myself out for wouldn't do the same for me.

it's kind of happening to me. a co-worker is having this insurance thingy -- her sideline. and i ask about savings, it started from that question. i was just interested -- curious, that's more like it. and now shes selling me the insurance thingy every time we see each other at work. it's disturbing somehow but i dont know when would be the perfect timing to say no because shes starting to learn on how to sell it and really exerting an effort to get me into it.i hate to feel her down. i met a not-so-close old friend of mine the other day. we talked for minutes and he asked me if im doing any sideline. i said no and i also asked him -- then another one started. just this morning -- early in the morning -- he texted me to meet up somewhere so we can discuss this sideline thingy. i'm just not into it. i hate to say no.

HELL NO! see I can say it.. But I have no problem saying no.. in fact if I don't want to do anything I just say "speak to the hand, face don't understand"

I will say a conditional 'yes' which in most times it means a "NO". So when conditions are attached, people will look elsewhere to have their problems solved. I will then be on my way. If you are not desperate for promotion and only intend to keep a job, then saying no is not difficult. It's the way you said it that counts!

I've never had a hard time saying "NO!" It's the easiest thing in the world to say! Monosyllabic, straight and to the point, one of the easiest English words to spell. I long ago found it easier to say "no", then change my mind and say "yes", than to say "yes", and find myself stuck. I hate being stuck. Detest it! No! No! NO!!! That said (see what I mean?), I find that often, it's not the word itself that people resent, so much as how you say it, and in what context. When my superiors would ask me something I wouldn't like, such as overtime, I'd often say "no", then sit back and wait for them to justify why I'd have to do it. I'd then counter with the fact that I do overtime most nights, anyway, and wait for their counterproposal. If it's justified, I'd say "yes" (worse luck). The up-side to this is that I've conditioned people: friends, family, office-mates to the fact that I'll always say "no", and they'd better have a good reason (by my standards, admittedly), before I'll change my mind. After years of this, when people approach me for anything, I'll give them my "WHAT NOW!?" look, and if it's not important, they back off. Now, I rarely have to say "no". I simply exude it. If they're too chicken, or too inarticulate to explain why I should change my mind, then as far as I'm concerned, it certainly isn't worth my time. So much easier, no?

Hi, Karen. After experiencing a total burn-out once in my life, I no longer after a problem saying no or spreading myself to thin. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that no can be a healthy response. We gramatically and subconciously connect no to negative responses when, in reality it can be a positive one. No, has actually saved a life....mine.