Desperate friends - Are they friends?

friends? do we really need that lot? to me, good friend, 1 will do.. others are merely acquaintances especially those at work.. I seldom befriended colleagues, as one day when I resign, to some of them, it's that I am leaving them.. so no point creating those unnecessary 'misunderstanding' I will normally be nice, but not helpful in which I answer everything like God does.. especially those who love to 'ask for help'.. even on work process, I normally guide but not helping coz I find it 'spoilt' by helping them out.. On the financial ground, I won't even bother to help especially on colleagues.. pay or not pay, it will still be a strain to the relationship, and this could even turn into a habit.. for those who only come to me when they need help, I will also not bother if it's on financially.. but others, I may consider.. I don't like being taken for granted, and get friends to think that they can explode me as and when they like it.. so, I would rather keep my distance.. maybe this explains why I don't have many friends, even I am a social bird..

Absolutely not. If they are only there when they want something from you, then they are what we in the US call a "User". They are simply 'using' you, but otherwise couldn't care less about you. It's very similar to another type of 'friend' called a "Fair weather friend". A fair weather friend, is a person who is only there for you when things are good. When everything is going ok, when you are doing alright, when the "weather is fair" then they are friendly. But as soon as you need help, when you are really hurting and need a friend, they disappear. Both "Fair Weather Friends", and "Users", are not friends at all. When I was younger, I had a fair weather friend, but I didn't realize that. Yet every time I needed him, he was gone. Sure enough, after we got out of school, he went off somewhere, and I haven't heard from him since. He never was really a friend, so nothing lost.

I tend to treat people the way they treat me, and it's quite hard to get into my friends' list. if someone only comes to me when in need of help, I by no means call them my friend. these people should be addressed only when something is to be gained, and if they refuse to help, there really is no use in such company.

i totally agree with you. i have so many people who treat me as friends when they need something. but don't expect any thing from them or you will get disappointed and will just disappear out of thin air. like they are some kind of ghost. LOL. they don't want any thing to do with you at all when you are the one in need.

I don't think those type of people are friends. I think that they only consider you when it benefits them, and when everything is good with them they simply forget about you and may even forget you even help them at all.

well Kev.. when it comes to friends, it is very subjective on how to categorize, some can be casual friends, mere friends, best friends, colleague type of friend. Friends dont mean they are all willing to help you when you need them. But I am sure after working with them for a certain period, one can be able to deduce what type of friend she/he can be. Over here in my office, I have so many friends but when it comes to "helping hands", there are only a few I can turn to. Anyway, that is why the saying..good and best friends are hard to come by and when they do, dont let them go... We must appreciate them...

Friends like these are still friends though not the bestfriend you wished to be. Friends in work places are not what I call best of friends except for really real ones. I have colleagues that I have been friends after I quit my job and we each other not too often but we find time. There's friendship in there. Someone whoi can run to and vice versa not just begging for your help when they feel like it and most needed it. I think it is normal in a work place and I have learned to say no.

Sometimes I have to reality check myself and ask "if I didn't work here any more, who would I stay in contact with?" It kind of puts things in perspective. Not to say I will ignore most of the people I work with or be mean to them. I just try not to disillusion myself to the fact that they are co-workers that I get along with and will help if I can, but they aren't my good friends or even friends at all in some cases. We have a couple family members that only come around or call when they are desperate. I think people tend to just reach out more when they need something than when they are doing fine.

it was said that people closer to you are so used to you that they are likely to pass you even when you see the, reason? is that they don't have to all the time be with you! what a naughty world.

Unfortunately, what you've said is all true in this world we live in today. People like to be friends with benefit. The more you can offer, the wider your circle of friends are. But sadly, the moment we stopped 'contributing', you can see that CIRCLE shrink right before your eyes. Having said all that, not all friends are like that. You might (if you are lucky) find a gem in one or two of your friends. These are the ones that will stick with you like super glue through thick and thin. And once you've found them, never let them go. Treassure them like they are your life! :)

Yeah, I'd also encounter that kind of person. Actually there are many of them.LOL They are not fortunate enough to learned how to be grateful and appreciative of the things that other had done for them. They are very quick to take and slow to say thank you. They don't know how to put value on what others done to them. Yeah, it's normal. And I think one day these kind of people would learned how to be grateful.

i think desperate friends are not friends but they are with you just because they need your help. i have a friend who is so desperate for me that when i talk to some other guy he doesn't likes it, he's not gay lol :) but he doesn't likes me to talk to any other guy, he think he is my only best friend and i don't like it much.

Hi kevchua, Friends are really very important and it is up to us to decide which is the best one and trusted one... If we really find and have a good friend ship then we enjoy our life like anything. If not, then problems is on our way.. We should be ready to face it. So choose the best and enjoy.

Personally I don't think they are. I hate that kind of people and that's why I prefer to only have a handful of people as real friends, who I know are my friends and -I- can rely on them, which in turn tells that I'll be there for them too. But I think it's pretty common for that to happen, other people wanting to turn to everyone else when things look bad. Survival of the fittest, and they need help to survive bad!

I feel you're fortunate if you have one true friend. I agree that there are way too many people who only care about themselves and their own well-being. I find with experience you quickly learn to recognize the qualities that comprise a sincere and mutual friendship. Why waste valuable time on fair-weather acquaintances? I'd rather spend time alone...reading a good book.

i know exactly what you are talking about there are alot of people in this world that will be your friend when it suits them but if its the other way around you would be in the wrong thats just how some people are and you cant control it just dont waste your time with people like that and as long as you stay a good honest friend and know you are not guilty of that then no worries.

hi kevchua! good day to you my friend... I think that's normal to a people who really like that. I really believe that you cannot please anybody even your close friend because we're different in many ways that's why you have to broad whatever happen specially the consequences being a friend. GOD BLESS xchyler

I've had jobs like that before. The only time they are nice is when they need your help. Obviously you are important to them because you are doing something they cant or will not. Try not doing one time and see how friendly they are. I bet you will see the beast come out. You might be surprised the ones you thought were beast may not be, but you have to put them to the test to find out.

oh i watch my favorite tv series is desperate housewives.and they are really good friends but have each stories,secrets that unfold in every epesodes.i can say they are still good friends because the talks and share their view and suggestion if one of them has a problem.they also support each other company.

When everything is fine with you, you will have lots of friends. If you really want to know who your true friends are, be down and out and you would have very few friends left. When I was running a business, I got to know a few bankers who would like to do business with me. When a recession hit my company, I got the chance to know all my bankers' lawyers. Now these lawyers were doing business with me. All their charges then came to me. I had no choice but to pay up to these lawyers who were working for the bankers.