Parents are showing partiality for their childrens?!

In my experience, I don't think that my parents showed a partiality for any of the three of us. There were certain things that each of us did that they were more supportive of, but there were those type of things for each of us. However, that was while we were growing up. Now that we are adults, I feel like my mother does show a certain kind of partiality for my brother. You see, for five years after our daughter was born, we lived at my mother's house in her basement. We paid her rent and bought our own groceries. It helped all parties involved in that it saved us money and helped her to dig herself out of her own debt. Now, my brother, sister-in-law and their two daughters live with her and they don't give her a dime. It is like pulling teeth for them to even buy any groceries to share with her. They are free-loading off of her and it doesn't even seem to bother her. Even my baby sister who still lives at home pays her some rent every month.

Hi,D,in case of other countries i don't know,but in our country majority of parents show favourism towards son when compared to daughter.Here systems are like that.In every point starting from clothes to sending to study tours. In my case also notdifferent.My parents gave me more freedom and money to spend on whatever i want,but in the case of my sister every thing is restricted.Of course now me and my sister are move like friends even at the age 46 to me and 42 to her.Our's is educated family,where as in uneducated families,the partiality is too much. Have a nice time.

Well, that's because u are the elder child in family, and thus u dun have that priviledge of being over protected.. lol =D BUt it will be a different story, if u are the only child of the family.. hehe ^_^ It's kinda normal.. As u are the eldest, your parents will expect u to be more mature as well as responsible and being more independant too.. Isn't that a good thing though, when u have got more freedom?? hehe

I don't know that all parents show partiality. I think that if they do, there are times they don't realize they are. I've noticed that the parents are more protective and more worrisome over the girls, but that the guys have more freedom and the parents are lienant on their curfews... etc. I think that it's just that guys are considered to be the more buff gender and can take care of themselves. That isn't to say that girls can't take care of themselves.

am thinking differently from your opinion. maybe your mom finds that you easily learn than your sister. true isnt it? and your mom is helping you in another way - that is being independent. i guess its because you are a boy. and someday, you will be the person to depend on. what do you think? have a great day too. ann

Yes I also believe in that. Although our parents would reassure us that we're all equal for their love and affection, still, it's unavoidable to feel favoritism in the family. I don't know if there's a research but in my theory, most of the "parents' faves" depends on the character of the child. Of course if you're the brainy one, you're most likely to be the fave when it comes to accomplishing schoolwork and the like. If you're the sweet child type, you get to convince your parents to say "yes" most of the time. If you're the talented one (ex. singer), you get to be the highlight in family gatherings - and they're proud to show you off to the clan. So it's just that. In your case, I think that it's because you became independent from your mom earlier than your sister did. I'm the eldest and yes, I have experienced comparing myself to my younger siblings. But then I realized, it's not a matter of who's more loved. Each child is different and thus, they should be treated specifically based on their needs and capabilities. Maybe if your sister can do her notes without your mom's help, then maybe mum wouldn't mind her doing her assignments on her own. Don't get jealous with your sister because of this. It will pass. Believe me.

hi dbu. don't take that seriously. and don't feel that you are being treated unfairly. i am also a parent so i know what you mean. there are some kids who are slow learner and there are some that fast and easily gets simple instructions. what i feel about your situation, maybe she needs more attention from your parents. maybe you are just advanced and you learn faster than her. parents can also assess their kids. i can look at you more independent than your sister.

I am an only child, see, so I don't really know, but I see it in my cousins and my uncle and aunt I think the youngest of their unica-hija(only daughter) is their favorite just a year ago she was their bunso(youngest child) until another brother came, but just a year ago their reason for spoiling her was that she would be too noisy if she cried even though she's already 7 years old.

I suppose things change when people have their second child because they already have the experience of the first one and have learned from their mistakes. My sister is a lot younger than me and she was allowed to get away with so much more than I was! My parents were stricter with me because they didn’t know any different and by the time they had a second child they learnt to relax a bit more. It was a bit rough for me but them's the breaks!

It is very bad for parents to show partiality. I think it is the one children hate most about parents. As far as I am concerned my parents were alway neutral and I couldn't really make out whom do they love most amoung three of us. Sometimes I feel that they support my brother or sister more, but some other times I felt that they are supporting me a lot more.

Not in my family. But my eldest brother family, this is obvious by his wife. They have first born - a son. Then another three daughters. The son was given higher education in United Kingdom whereas the daughters are to study in Malaysia.

this definitely seems to be a case of sibling rivalry..are you jealous of your sister??... i think all parents love their children equally. but there is a difference of time and circumstances. studies are becoming tougher every year, so your sister might as well require more time. check her books and compare it with the books of your own time. you will certainly see the difference. at your time a score of 70% would have been considered as excellent but today getting a score of 80% is a disaster. also the cost of everything is increasing so it might seem your sister is getting more money where as in reality it might serve lesser purpose. give it a thought with a cool mind. you are the big brother and should also help your sister..

I have two sisters and my parents love us all . However my mother-in-law shows hugh partiality for her children. My hubby has one elder brother and two sisiters and his mother only loves his brother. She gives everything his brother wants and does everything for him . She gives all money to him and spoils him . My hubby feels very unfair and hates her very much . I don't care this and we can live without her . I don't like parents who does't love their kids.

Based on my personal experience, I was the favorite of my mother and grandmother. My sister was my father's favorite. My mother denies this, of course, saying that she is impartial. Now, with my own kids, I see that my husband favors my oldest daughter although I have not said anything to this effect. I tend to take my youngest daughter's side only because I feel that my husband takes often the oldest one's side - to balance the situation.

I had 4 kids and I loved them all equally. I think they all thought that I favored another better than them tho. That would be maybe because I did treat them all different as they were different types of people & also my situations were different at various times in life. I had one daughter that was constantly getting into trouble or being argumentive etc. Yes, I disciplined her more frequently. She would get upset because I did not get after her sisters as much. Well...why would I? Then the others would get upset because the troubled one would "get all the attention". I could not very well ignore her. I tried to be fair to all of them but I could not win no matter what. I'm pretty sure that your mom loved you as much as your sister. Maybe she felt that you did not need as much help as your sister did??? You should ask her sometime.

dbutheking I think perhaps a bit of this happens in most families' for one reason or another. my sister was nine years younger than me and was mentally retarded whereas I was normal, so from her birth I began to take second and third place but I just figured she needed more help than I did, yet it hurt a lot and I grew up with some resentment towards my sister, but yet I did love her, it is not fair bu t who said life had to be fair? he he he

Hi dbu, Although most parents will try so hard not to be partial to any of their kids, sometimes it can't be helped. In my family my brother, being the only son is almost always the most favored child, add the fact that he is the most sickly (he had 2 open heart surgery/operations in his lifetime, once when he was 15yrs old, then the other one 15 years later). So all other children (3 girls including me) accepted that fact that he gets most if not all the attention. Among us three girls, the middle sister was always under my parents' watch probably because she's the one who hasn't managed her life well as compared to me and the eldest sister. I have 2 kids, both boys, and having experienced how it is to be left out, I make sure none of them feel the same way. It's true that it's very difficult not to compare, like who does better in school, who is easier to discipline - but when I do this, I just keep it between my husband and me, as I don't want them to get the wrong idea that they are being pitted against each other or they have to compete with each other. I know that both have potentials in different areas and I encourage them and support them in whatever way I can.

Dear dbutheking, Partiality to their children....or I would say favouritism My father still put the highest preference to my 4th brother even though he already 53 years old this year. My father will make sure he have enough monthly expenses to spend. Pay for his car instalments! In any occasions where all the siblings has to contribute money, he is exceptional??? All of us has to be independant, we work to support our studies. So, partiality did happens in my family

hi! ya i do feel parents can be biased sometimes towards more brighter kids or the lesser ones depending on their inclination.i have also seen mothers having more preferences for their sons while the fathers being more inclined towards their daughters.