My Child Doesn't Do Any Wrong!

I am a Parent and Grandparent who helped to raise 4 Good Boys. Let me begin by stating - Nobody Ever does anything that they deem wrong. Everyone has a good reason in their mind for doing the things they do, and this reason is not " because its wrong!" Simply, because its right for the time and conditions the person ( or child) finds themselves in, at the time. Going home when things are not going as the parent wishes, is taking the lazy way out. There has to be a better way to show the offenders that their behavior in not good taste. Perhaps concerned parents could commit more of their time to overseeing and guiding, in order to show the children the difference between the polite, and impolite way to play.

I used to get angry with my own kids when they were little and they would be hitting or kicking someone. It wasn't like them to be playing and then end up doing that kind of stuff. What I found out (and you could ask your 7 year old) was that the other kid would either be hitting, kicking, teasing or taking toys away from them and my kids would be defending themselves or each other. One time my daughter was 3 and bit another little girl! My daughter was out of the biting stage and I was angry at her for biting another kid, I got her home and she had all kinds of bite marks all over her arms. The other parent was mad when we left, saying that my daughter needed disciplined and I need not go back. I got my daughter dressed and went back over to their house, I walked in and asked if the child my daughter bit was ok. I was told yes, the mark had went away but the mother was still angry and could I leave now? I lifted off my daughters shirt and said 'this is what your kid did to mine, now whose kid do you think needs disciplined?' I had told her maybe she needed to start screaming and yelling about her own kid before she tried it to someone else's . Talk to your daughter, maybe the kicking wasn't just because she felt like kicking someone and maybe she wasn't the one that started it...

People like that drive me absolutely nuts, and I don't tolerate it. i watch to see what happened in both cases, and I listen to both sides of the story, making the other mother see that it may just be her kid's fault. Yeah, a few people have gotten annoyed with me for being so honest, but those people weren't really meant to be my friends in the first place, if that's the way they were going to act.

In my line of work I work with parents like this quite often. I've had parents complain that their child's bad behavior is caused by other children when those kids are the ones starting the issues constantly and therefore get all the other kids riled up. I'd personally start calling her out on it whenever you see her kids acting up you need to tell her that she needs to leave because her kids are being mean to your kids. Give her a taste of her own medicine. It'll totally tick her off but sometimes parents need to see the harsh truth. Heck, video tape their behavior and show it to her. That'll get her head spinning.

Kids bicker and squabble, that is a fact of life. However, hitting and biting are wrong. No matter who started it, who continued it, or who ended it, it is wrong! When your child (or hers) gets older and hauls off and decks someone, they will be charged with assault. It won't really matter who is right or wrong, it is a criminal offense to strike another person. Teach your little children to tell you when they are being hurt, assaulted, abused, whatever you want to call it. Explain why it is wrong and unacceptable to strike back at someone else. Remove your child from these situations if need be. I don't think it is right to try to justify it because the other one "did it first". If your 7 year old "completely knows better" and was still caught kicking your friends child, why be peeved off at your friend for asking you to leave? Better to spend the time reinforcing the rules with your 7 year old, no?

I say let ur kids be kids they're gonna do things like that,and if your friend dont know that then there's something wrong there.

Oh wow sounds like she is really nieve, her kids will disappoint her one day because she puts them up so high, I think her actions towards the kids behavior was un logical and those type of people I would suggest you stay away from

I have a 16 year old and a 3 year old quite an age gap.....When my son was younger I used to spend alot of nights with a friend and her 4 boys.....She lived in another town at the time then I did but it was less then an hour drive away....So we would visit often....Her two oldest are around my sons age and her second oldest would pick on my son all the time.....Hit, kick, you name it to make my son feel bad....He would come and tell me I would just say try to ignore it or hit back....My son was an only child at the time and this boy had 3 brothers so of course they are used to rough housing....I tried to bring this up to my friend and she would sluff it off everytime....Oh well boys will be boys is what she said....I knew my son well enough that if this continued he would eventually get sick of it and snap well one day that is exactly what happend....My son was so upset with being picked on he pushed this boy to the floor not hard and started hitting him....I sat back and watched it and was going to stop it if he really started hurting this other boy....His Mother walks around the corner and tries to give my son crap for this....So I piped up and said oh I see it's ok for your son to constanly pick on my son hit him and torment him but when he defends himself your going to stop it now? Needless to say that changed her tune in a heck of a hurry....Well then my daughter ended up being the opposite she was into the mine mine mine and wanna hit stage....And she picked on an only child....I think when kids have siblings or even if they do can make a difference...I hope that things get worked out for you sorry for the long winded response!

hi princess sorry but I kind of see her point. when your son started to hit her child, you should have stopped your son.you are the mom, she wasnot.if she had rebuked your son,you apparently would have been incensed. so what did you expecther to do? just let him keep hitting the others child? she has a responsibility only for her own child not for yours. Yes your daughter was wrong and you should have been johny on thespot to stop her, maybe even a swat on her sweet little butt seeind you knew that she knew better. its not up to the other person to discipline your own kids. what else did youexpect her to do.she did what I would have done,taken her kids home. yes you kids do do wrongs as do her kids but you have to stop them not the other person.

I understand what you are saying but it is her house and if that is what she decide then you have to except it. I know that her children started the fight but your children did also kick her child. To me by taking your kids home both are being punish because her children and your children will not be playing together. You should be telling her when her daughter is mean to your child so she will know that it is not just your child. What it comes down to is both of you should tell them that if they can not play together without fighting then you are going to have to leave and go home.

It has been recently that we've started to have to deal with similar situations regarding my son. He is almost three years old and a few weeks ago I took him to art group where there were three other children close to his age. After the children got done with the art, they were playing together. Paul had a plastic golf club and hit one of the girls on the back. I don't think he necessarily did it out of meanness, but I immediately removed him from the group and gave him a good talking to. Then I told him that he had to go apologize to the little girl he had hit. That seemed to resolve the problem just fine.

The problem with this leaving and asking people to leave reaction is that it places a huge amount of power in the hands of her kids. All they have to do is start wailing and they can control the situation totally and as soon as they realise this she's in for some real fun! Kids will squabble and fight but they need to learn to play together. Yes, sometimes the adults have to step in but the way forward is to teach kids to resolve their conflicts together.

I understand what you mean and I probably wouldn't be as polite as you were. I would be telling her that taking the children away is not going to teach them what they did wrong and talk to them, possibly make them sit and go from there. But when her children do something to my children they have to follow the same rules. Parents are all about their children being perfect and its everyone elses children at fault.

I agree with your friend. If I bring my child to interact, or a child comes into my home with the intention of interacting with my child and the child is consistently abusive and the mother of the child doesn't step right in and execute an immediate ending of the physical abuse. GOTTA GO! It is the mothers responsibility to teach their children that This behavior is not acceptable. Perhaps you should have spoken up when it was done to your kids. I know I would have. That crap should never be allowed by any children or parents.