Taking one sentance and deciding it means something completely diffferent...
By vivasuzi
@vivasuzi (4127)
United States
September 28, 2009 8:28am CST
This actually stems from another site where I got a comment on an TV Show Recap that really bugged me. I wrote one sentence to describe 2 POSSIBLE symptoms for a syndrome one of the characters had. Someone came on to comment that I must have done all my research off of wikipedia (which I did not) and basically said I was wrong. The commenter also went on to add other things as if I had insinuated people with the syndrome are on LSD or could only work on an assembly line. I never said anything bad about the syndrome, and never even considered that these people use LSD? I have no idea where the commenter got all that from.
Well I looked and looked and guess what? The same symptoms I had listed as POSSIBLE symptoms were listed on a dozen different sites about the syndrome. If said commenter had done her own research, she would have seen that my 2 POSSIBLE symptoms were not completely out of left field. The commenter never mentioned that I had said "they could have" these symptoms and didn't say "they all have" these symptoms.
Anyway, has that ever happen to you? You wrote one sentence, or even one word, and people ripped it apart to discount your entire opinion? This just goes to show you that you cannot assume you know what people are thinking, or where they may have done their research, or what they really mean.
So please, try not to read to much into what people say online. Most of the time they don't mean anything bad by it. And I can assure you I never write something down in an article if I only read it on wikipedia.
Side note: what a way to start a morning, waking up to comments like this and having to defend yourself. Ugg!
2 people like this
6 responses
@unusualsuspect (2602)
• United States
28 Sep 09
It's very easy to push people's hot buttons without intending to, and even easier for people to mouth off, based on what they *think* you said. I've had that happen to me lots of times, and I've learned to just ignore it. If you were talking about a syndrome that they happen to have, they might be so sensitive about it that they go off on a tear before they even know whether or not you've said something negative. I'm on the autism spectrum, and I know that a lot of people are very ignorant about it and make a lot of statements that aren't true. But I don't take it personally. If it seems as if they've made an honest mistake based on a lack of accurate information, I'll try to correct that. But if they're deliberately misrepresenting people who are autistic or have Asperger's, I just don't bother because i know that they're speaking out of prejudice. You can't reason with people like that, so I don't waste my time on them.
You also have to take into account that some people just don't have good reading comprension, and their comments may be based on a complete misunderstanding of what you said.
As for defending yourself, unless you recognize that you made some kind of mistake and want to correct it, and maybe apologize, you're not obligated. Defending yourself against idiots is a waste of time.
3 people like this
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
28 Sep 09
Yes some people do seem to "mouth off" quick easily online. Sometimes I think they read something really fast and then respond really fast with anger. If something I read ever makes me angry, I always make sure to read it 3-4 times to make sure I got the meaning behind it.
It sounds like you know how to handle inaccurate information and understand that people are not usually out to say bad stuff about your syndrome, usually it's just that they may be misinformed.
I have a hard time NOT defending myself when someone says something like that, I think it's because I want to make sure my other readers know where I'm coming from. I did do my research in this case and in my defense I pointed out that there were many non-wikipedia sources where the information came from. The fact that this person had to add in something about these people doing LSD and working only on assembly line made THEM seem very prejudice against the syndrome so I didn't understand where they were coming from. I said nothing bad about people who have the syndrome just stated 2 possible symptoms (and made sure to say "they could have" meaning they may not all have these symptoms).
Thanks for your response though b/c I do see how sometimes I really shouldn't jump to my own defense. Sometimes leaving the comment unanswered may be better than trying to respond to defend myself.
2 people like this
@unusualsuspect (2602)
• United States
28 Sep 09
it's probably a fine line, but I'd say you were correcting the commenter more than you were defending yourself. You don't want to leave people with the impression that the commenter was right in what he said, and that's exactly what I'd do. When it comes down to someone assuming they know what you're thinking, or they throw in personal insults, that's when I ignore them completely. But I admit that sometimes I get ticked off enough to comment on their bigotry or ignorance.
2 people like this
@babyangie27 (5176)
• United States
28 Sep 09
This happens alot online,because you can't see the person or hear a voice to help figure out what they really meant to how the meant it.
It happens to me sometimes on mylot when someone misunderstands what i am trying to say,and I hope the rest of your week doesn't continue this way.
My started out with getting a call from the school that my daughter is ill,I have no car so i had to chase down a ride and when I got to school she looked awful! Really pale and all that so of course I fear she may have had a seizure. She is sleeping on the couch now so I can only hope when she wakes up she is better. My husband is having an awful day and told me he will run outta gas before he finish's all the jobs on his work order,UGH Monday's SUCK eh?
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
28 Sep 09
Yes I think that not knowing the person or hearing the person's voice can make a difference in what you read. What's funny though is that this sentence was so simple (one sentence in the midst of many) and I had done a lot of research before writing it because I didn't want to insult anyone by getting the facts wrong. Seems I insulted someone by getting the facts RIGHT!
Sorry you are having a bad day! Monday's do stink. I hope your daughter feels better. Did the nurse at the school take a look at her and give any sort of diagnoses? Goodness, what a day!
2 people like this
@babyangie27 (5176)
• United States
28 Sep 09
They checked her temp and her blood pressure and they seem ok. She had no fever,so that is good. She gets motion sickness sometimes and i am hoping it is that and not a seizure. I hope she gets better too poor thing goes threw enough as it is.
It is funny how someone can take something so simple,so innocent and make a run with it.
2 people like this
@AnythngArt (3302)
• United States
28 Sep 09
I am convinced that most people online don't read carefully and frequently they don't even read the entire statement or article. I belong to a couple of writing sites, and often I can tell by the comments they leave that they have not read the entire article someone has written because they will miss the main point. We are now a society that does things in such a hurry that people are picking up inaccurate information all the time.
Then there are those who love to argue. It's easier online because it is anonymous, and they don't have to face the repercussions of a face-to-face debate.
Sorry this happened to you. All you can do is clarify your point and move on. Others reading the discussion will see who is being ridiculous and who is being level-headed. Never sink to the name-calling, snide remarks level. Often people are trying to goad you into a fight. Obviously this person was throwing in things that you didn't even say or refer to. What was the point of that?
@AnythngArt (3302)
• United States
29 Sep 09
When a person needs to argue, then doesn't even bother to read the response, it makes me wonder "What happened to them today?" This aggression probably isn't even related to the discussion at hand.
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
29 Sep 09
AnythngArt you make so much sense and I agree 100%. There are so many people who don't read! Here on mylot that happens a lot too when I get a response to my title but it's obvious they didn't read my post.
I do believe some people LOVE to fight but are too chicken to do it in the real world so they come online to do it. A lot of times I find that these people will not ever come back to argue more. They post once, I respond in defense, and they never come back. What was the point of that I ask you? If something seriously angers me, you gotta know I've bookmarked the page to return and see if the writer responded. But then again, nothing really angers me that often!
I didn't get why they were throwing in the things about LSD and assembly line workers which I didn't even say nor think about! Perhaps this person had read other articles where people said bad things about the syndrome so they *assumed* that I thought badly of the syndrome too. When in fact, I think that most people with any syndrome or disease can live perfectly normal lives and be even smarter than the average person. Anyway, perhaps this person was taking out on me what they had read in other articles. Or perhaps they were just fighting for the sake of fighting.
Whatever the case may be, they haven't returned and I doubt they will. Can't really argue with me when I didn't say any of the stuff they are talking about.
1 person likes this
@malamar (779)
• Canada
28 Sep 09
vivasuzi, I agree with Anything Art on this. Just go back (give the benefit of the doubt once) and clarify your point. The other posters response will tell you very quickly if it was only a misunderstanding or a silly mistake. If the response is still negative, shrug your shoulders, walk away and just move on.
It is too much fun here to let the odd nut case ruin your day. When I run into the odd idiot, I just pause and give thanks that I don't have to live with that person!
2 people like this
@manong05 (5027)
• Philippines
29 Sep 09
Yes, it happens sometimes when the intended meaning didn't get across. The listener picked up either the connotation, implication or any meaning that may be colored by his linguistic base. It this is true between native language speakers, how much more between those who use english as a second or even third language.
We who are not native speakers can sometimes be taken as rude or impolite, when in fact we have no intention to be such, it's just that the way we expressed ourselves was misinterpreted.
In some countries, calling a lady fat is a compliment and a lady will say thank you after receiving the compliment. When that compliment is translated into english withpout taking cultural context into consideration will mean a declaration of war. LOL
So for the level headed person, giving the benefit of the doubt will solve the problem of miscommunication.
@zackyo7 (301)
• United States
29 Sep 09
Well it looks as if that person had some serious problems. But this is a standard case of lack of communication. The encoder delivers the message and the receiver decodes it and gives it a meaning. They just happened to give it the wrong meaning. That has happened to me a few times well. As you said they failed to realize that you were assuming.
1 person likes this
@KomiKomi (62)
• Germany
28 Sep 09
a constant in written language. and even in non writen one i guess.
it just can't be helped that certain things have multiple meanings sometimes, and others, well, people are also subject to making their own interpretations of certain phrases.
Many one people has felt insulted by these incidents and many more shall.
World War III will start because of a mis-interpreted mis-translation.
1 person likes this
