WOO HOO! Hubby is out of town for 5 days!!!

When he and I first met, he told me that "family" was a big issue with him. He said he loves his family. He acted much differently then than he does now with my family. He changed once we got married. Yes, we are made of different metals but I make the most of it. I am not terribly unhappy when he is here, I'm just enjoying my alone time. And, no, I have tried to convince him that he is capable of doing some things around the house but he seems determined not to do them. I have been able to compromise and clean up after myself. My things are all in their places while his are scattered everywhere. When he cannot find something that he wants, he has only himself to blame. I do not worry about that anymore. If he really can't stand it, he'll learn to start being a little neater like he was before we were married. He is not incapable of it. As I am disabled, I am not physically able to do everything around the house. Since he obviously does not care, I just take care of my own things. But, I am enjoying the quiet at night without his snoring and only cooking for myself for awhile. I'm getting the house cleaned without him constantly making more messes. He is enjoying his trip because he loves his work. We're both happy.

Hi Marti, First of all i did not mean to counsel you through my response as thea ( amusingly I guess ) put that way. I was taken aback at the very first glance on the post as to how come one feels the taste of freedom when his/her SO gets out of the house. Now I feel I was mislead and to some extent was correct too. After all it depicted a problem for you in the humorous way though. Well he possesses a good many positive traits as well. Say when he fails to locate anything of his he does not blame any one but takes it on his own which is otherwise in many men including me. lol. That he changed a lot after your marriage can be accepted as normal unless it becomes an issue. Now he is careless and who knows he does all these staff knowingly and would bring himself to the man you would love to see.

Yes, exactly! I think it's more that I feel like his maid when he's here and only having to pick up after myself will be a very nice change! I hope he has many more business trips in his future. He is supposed to be going to Canada this winter and I had thought about going with him but, after more thought, I think I'll stay here. When he can go to Canada in the SUMMER, I'll go with him. This time, I'll just enjoy his being away. Yes, I'll probably be happy to see him after this trip... or not. LOL I just wish I could train him to be less of a slob like he was when we were dating. I plan to do whatever, whenever, wherever!

Very true, savak! I'm going out tomorrow for the day. Today the weather is strange; first rain, now strong winds and later, thunderstorms. So, tomorrow I'll be out seeing what trouble I can get into. I may even drive into Baltimore (where I'm from) and see some friends. I can't stay long because of my dogs but I it's only a 2 hour drive there and I think the dogs can handle things while I'm gone. (They're Maltese, very sensitive to heat, cold, sun, etc. so they use training pads instead of going outside so no messes in the house except for the pads I'll have to change when I get back.) Yep, I'm going out and doing things I wouldn't normally do. I plan on taking full advantage of my free time.

Good for you!

You enjoy it! I am sure you will, the sleep will be a blessing, NO snoring, what a joy! ;)) Btw, i copy my replies, then if the page goes, you can just paste it, its less stressful than having to re type it all, especially if it is a long one...makes you wanna scream! LOL.. Enjoy your chill time! ;) ( i want the smileys!) lol

Thanks, Pam. I intend to. I've spent the morning just cleaning around here. The weather is weird, first rain, now strong winds with thunderstorms predicted for later this afternoon. So, I'm staying in today. Tomorrow, though, I'm going out. I'm going window shopping. I'm going to have lunch in a restaurant. I might peruse the second-hand shops. I'll come back when I feel like it. The rest of the week, who knows? I know I won't spend the rest of the week here at home, that's for sure. I may just stay up extra late listening to music. The world is mine!

Go crazy!

ha ha ha ha ha... strangely, I can relate to what you just said!

Not always but it can be extremely frustrating. He's pretty much a pig, never cleaning up after himself and it can be very irritating. Also, he's always interrupting me when I'm trying to get something done, like cleaning the kitchen, being here in myLot, whatever I'm doing. Basically, he's a very lazy man around the house and tries to get me to stop doing things because it makes him feel bad that he's so lazy. If I stopped every time he wanted me to, necessary things would never get done! It's just nice to have a break every now and then. Being able to do anything I want, any time I want, without having to explain every little thing is very nice. I honestly don't think I'd like living alone full-time because I am a people person and my husband and I do have a lot of the same interests so it's nice to have him here... occasionally.

Ah, poop. I mean 'videotape' not 'videotype'. Stupid keys, always jumping around!

LOL! Poor doggies!

That's VERY true, thea! I'd love to know how they lose certain knowledge as soon as the vows are taken. Unfortunately, my husband is a snorer from way back. His nieces gave him a mug for Christmas before I met him. It says "World's Loudest Snorer" on it. So, yeah, he's had this problem awhile. He did promise me he'd have it taken care of and got as far as seeing a doctor about it (he also has sleep apnea) but, when they wanted to do a sleep study on him, he conveniently had too much work. Uh huh. Sure. But, I know that he used to cook for himself. Oh, he ate a lot of frozen meals before we met, but he knows how to cook. He just "forgot" once we were married. And what's up with his inability to throw trash away? He'll open something and microwave or bake it, and leave the carton or baggie, whatever the food was wrapped in, on the stovetop or counter. The trash can is only 2 feet away from the stove!!! Unbelievable. I've spoken to him about this countless times to no avail. I think I'll have to do what I thought of doing: putting all his trash on his side of the bed so he'll HAVE to deal with it. Moron! But, I am married so I'll make the most of his being away.

[/b] these are all the reasons why I don't want to marry or live with someone[b]..This says you are not married and My man is perfectly capable of running his own place, this again says you are married. I am confused.. Whatsoever the case once we are married all are not set to be each other's liking and hence there lies the question of adjustment. We have lived life with a lot of adjustments and compromise and I feel these are the parts of our lives and they make life worth living unless things are at the extreme. What say?

What say indeed Krajib beyond the fact that you've clearly strayed into an amusing little discourse and seem not to have the slightest notion of what we speak, nor do I need,last time I looked, a lecture on compromise. Maybe there's some teenagers over in the 'dear aunty agony advice' interest who would like to listen to you. Us adults tend to know our own minds.

I only wish my husband had more of these trips! Actually, he's supposed to go to Canada sometime this winter for another seminar but I want to go with him for that one. I've never been to Canada and I've made many friends here in myLot from Canada so maybe we could meet. Of course, my body probably won't like Canada in the winter... it gets SO COLD up there!

Hi shia. My husband is a systems design engineer. He designs computer programs for HVAC (Heating Ventilating and Air Conditioning) systems. He likes to go in to work early to avoid traffic which gets extremely heavy when most people go in to work. He works near Washington, D.C. and that always has very heavy traffic. I have enjoyed my first whole day with him away. I was cleaning the kitchen at 1:00 in the morning! LOL I usually have more energy late at night and he's always asleep then so I have to be careful to not wake him. For this week, I can make as much noise as I want!

That's exactly what I'm doing, malamar, doing whatever I want, whenever I want. I'm enjoying it immensely! It is most definitely a "mental health break" and long overdue, I must say. He's typically a homebody and is always here when he's not at work. I mean... always! If we need something from the hardware store, he wants me to go with him. If he needs something from the pharmacy or grocery store, he sends me. I feel like his own personal slave most of the time. My time alone is sooooooooooo nice!!! He and I eat very different foods. I eat pretty healthy. He eats a lot of junk or fatty/spicy stuff. It's hard to cook for two people who have such vastly different tastes. I've already enjoyed an entire half a cantalope! Yummmmm!!! That was my dinner. I had a late-night snack last night of chicken and veggies. Yeah, I know the snack should have been dinner and the dinner should have been a snack but, heck, I'm all by myself with no one to tell me I'm doing it wrong. My kids are coming over tomorrow and I know it will be especially good knowing that my husband won't be coming home from work with the attitude he gets whenever my sons visit me. He's freakishly private. I'm surprised he even wanted to get married. Yep, it's going to be a very good visit. I've been able to clean the way I like to clean... uninterrupted and at the time I want to do it which is usually late at night. I'm a night person and get extra energy at night but that's when he's sleeping so I have to tiptoe or do it when he's at work. I like doing housework when I'm in the mood to do it, not when I'm forced to do it, and I like doing it at night. My first day without him has been absolutely wonderful!!! I'm wondering where I can send him next month.

Hi Opal. You are so lucky! Man! My husband typically goes in to work very early in the morning, like around 3:00 or 4:00 a.m., then gets off early and comes home around 2:00 p.m. or so. So, I have him most of the day, at least most of the part where I'm awake. He's definitely not an easy person to live with and I always get so much more done around here when he's gone. It's funny, but I have had a problem with bruxism (clenching or grinding the teeth together) for years now but it has completely gone away since he's been gone.

Hi ivy. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship! I'm happy for you. I've been able to do things around the house that were constantly being interrupted by him before. When I clean, I don't like interruptions. My husband just loves interrupting. He doesn't care what I'm doing. Also, I slept so GOOD last night without him!!! No snoring, no farting, no bouncing the bed rolling over; ahhhhhh, it was nice! I am so enjoying this! It's also a time when I can think clearer. I'm alone with my thoughts and, without interruptions, I'm able to clean, dust and generally organize what's inside my cranium.

Thank you, Archie! I have thoroughly enjoyed my first whole day without him. I cleaned my kitchen at 1:00 in the morning. LOL I have more energy at night but that is when he is asleep so I have to be quiet. I can make as much noise as I want for this entire week. Woo hoo! I can put on some music and have a blast!

Hello, Ezekiel. Actually, I'm being more responsible than normal without him here. He is forever interrupting me when I'm trying to clean and I've been able to do some really good cleaning so far with him away. I enjoy cleaning. I've also gone out without having to explain myself or worry about the time. As for being unfaithful, I'd never do that. Even in the worst relationship I've ever been in, I was never unfaithful. I don't believe in that. If a relationship is not working and nothing can save it, it should end before starting another relationship. That's how I feel, anyway. It is just so nice to be able to do anything I want, whenever I want. I cleaned my kitchen at 1:00 this morning! Normally, I'd worry about waking him up. My stress level has dropped to almost non-existant.

A hubby vacation. Yep, that's exactly what it is. Finally! It's been so long since I've had a vacation! He is a systems design engineer. He designs computer programs for HVAC systems. He's away learning about new HVAC hardware so he has a better idea of how to create the programs, so he can visualize how his programs will work. He's IMing me right now, bragging about what good scores he's gotten on his quizzes today. I went out today and just totally enjoyed myself. Mostly window shopping, but getting ideas for Christmas along the way. The weather is great so I've been able to totally enjoy that without worrying about checking in with him or looking at the time. Ah, geez, now he's complaining about a headache and backache. I just can't get away from it! I'm free of his snoring and farting and all I have to do is log off the computer to end his complaining. He seems to forget that life is not all about him. It's really nice not to have to remind him of that constantly.