What do I do?

Aww well first off, I am sorry you are in this hard situation! Well, given that you can't be with your ex, and that your husband is a good father for your children, I would think that you probably shouldn't leave him, at least for now, if for no other reason than the childrens' sakes. I guess just make the most of it? Of course, that is probably not what you want to hear. It might be different if it were possible to reunite with your ex, but it didn't sound like that was an option. I can relate a little- not quite all of the situaion, but I am hung up on an ex, too. He dated this other girl for a year before he dated me, and she was out of the country for a year during which he and I were together. And now she is back and he is back with her. It sucks.

Please don't take anything that I'm about to write the wrong way but I'm not going to sugar coat this. My first thought while reading your discussion was...if your ex was so great, why is he your ex? It seems to me that he has become a fantasy and a means of emotional escape for you. I've been around the block a couple of times and I can tell you that no relationship stays in the white hot stage forever and that no man can compete with a fantasy. Most relationships evolve into a comfortable partnership...and there's nothing wrong with that. The key is in appreciating each other and, for whatever reason, you're unable or unwilling to appreciate the man you're married to. So, to answer your question about getting out while you can...sure, you can do that as long as you're willing to leave and walk away from your kids, too. Since your husband loves you and takes care of you and the kids, why should he...and they suffer because you're unhappy? He sounds like a decent man and, from what you've posted, he's probably more capable of providing a loving, happy home for them than you are. Or, you could get some counseling so you can figure out why you're wasting your emotions on a ghost who isn't around. That's actually a more logical choice...one that's more fair to you, your husband and your children. I'm a mother, too, and I've been through a divorce. Trust me, you don't want your kids to go through the kind of emotional pain they will be subjected to until you've tried every way there is to save your marriage. They deserve that much effort on your part.

Try to contemplate the pros and cons then after determining it that would be the best time for you to decide.

It sounds like maybe you're so hung up on your ex that you aren't letting yourself feel the same way about your husband. Try looking at him differently, focus on the things that initially attracted you to him. Try your hardest to leave your ex where he belongs - in the past - and put more energy into your marriage. Try to fall in love with your husband, maybe even consider going to counseling. If after that you still don't feel that you should be together then maybe separating will be your only option. But I think you should give it an honest try first, you might discover that your husband is the real love of your life after all.