What's your answer?

@mikeowl (200)
Malaysia
October 7, 2009 8:08am CST
Today I went for a walk in a shopping complex with my friend. We walk around and suddenly my friend entered a shop and interested in buying a shoe. Then he start wearing it and trying out the sizes and everything. Suddenly a question pop up to me, was the shoe nice? I always does not like to answer this kind of questions cause I am too afraid that I might make the wrong decissions for people if I am too straight with my answer. If I feel that shoe is not right, I usually will just say it's not right for you or maybe say it's just not too nice. But sometimes you might hurt the person who is trying it. How to answer people who always ask this kind of questions? Which clothes is prettier? Which should I choose? What would you answer to them? Give some opinion
1 person likes this
18 responses
@carrine (2743)
• Philippines
8 Oct 09
hahahahaha!!! i understand you really. but if i were in your shoe , ill be honest with my friend to tell him/her that the item he/shes buying is nice or not. because if you will just nod and nod if he/she asked you if its nice or not. right? why not telling the truth?. thats my opinion.
@carrine (2743)
• Philippines
8 Oct 09
well thats you're point of view and i have to respect that. and i have another idea about is also. so its okay really. hehehe
@mikeowl (200)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 09
It's easy to say, but not quite easy to do on certain sensitive people. They may feel not happy or felt like being shot in the head sometimes. But it all depends on the words we use. If you are very straight and might be a bit harsh, it might hurt someone but you will never know it yourself.
1 person likes this
@bettydeng5 (1822)
• China
8 Oct 09
Generally speaking, I will definitely tell my friends that how about the clothes and the shoes looks was, because if the good are truely not good, I think it's good to tell her. Mabye she really doesn't know what clothes and shoes that she needs to buy.
@mikeowl (200)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 09
It's true when they ask for your opinion, they might not know themselves whether the shoes or clothes looks nice on them, but frankly speaking, I do not know myself either as I am not a pro stylist or trendy person. I am just an ordinary person.
1 person likes this
@hotsummer (13837)
• Philippines
8 Oct 09
there is nothing wrong for being honest. i think if we think if the style of the shoe is not good enough to buy it then we should tell it without sounding rude. i think that we can just say that the shoe does not look great or you can find other style and compare them which is better. cause shoes are expensive. but any ways, for me i don't mind buying a not so great looking shoe as long as i would not look awful. i don't buy shoe any more to catch attention of other people or so that people will notice that my shoe looks great or what.
1 person likes this
@mikeowl (200)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 09
Thanks for your opinion and your time in mylotting here, I learned some great stuffs from you hotsummer. Thanks a lot. I will use your comments if I encounter the same situation again.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Oct 09
Maybe you can advice them to look for some other designs first before buying so that he may see if those shoes or clothes would be better, more functional and will be worn in different occasions or season. Sometimes, when we buy we are just focusing on the "being trendy" side and no longer thinking of the other benefits. It could be a waste of time and money.
@mikeowl (200)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 09
Well, my friend himself always urge to buy those trendy and branded stuffs. I myself is not very keen to these things. But I just give my own opinion on it sometimes when they ask. He always look around to check the prices and the trends itself. I think he had seen quite some time and actually he wanted it, but I felt it's not quite nice to him but it all depends on him. Besides it's an old shoe which is put on discounted price. That's the urge that makes my friends wanted them so badly.
@today2009 (160)
• China
7 Oct 09
We can not direct expression of that would hurt the other is heart.We can say that inappropriate dress you,or say that a fit you,tactful not vote for her and that one.Do not have to be good frinds,and youo cansay it directly.Sometimes a friend would like to hear the truth,in particular,his friend,without any cheating!
@mikeowl (200)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 09
it's true that you can answer the truth easily among friends especially goods ones or your trusted ones. But there are times when you need to answer to girls who are very sensitive with what you said. Some words if are used inappropriately will cause havoc and may give you troubles or even make you feel guilty about it
• China
8 Oct 09
I did not take into account the well-intentioned girlfriend.If the girlfriend as long as she says good-looking,even if you do not think so also have to say good-looking.Otherwise the can spare you? Ha ha !
• China
8 Oct 09
in ours life we usually meet this kind of questions I think we should say the truth mabey we will hurt ours friends but I think the measure is good because if we cheat him with the time going by ours friend will find we are cheating him so I think we should say the truth
@mikeowl (200)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 09
Yes, I definitely agree with you szhonghao. It's better to tell the truth rather than cheating my friend. It feel even worse to cheat your friends.
• Philippines
7 Oct 09
Well, let them try. You will see if its nice or not. If its nice, then say yes and if its not pretty then say so. Just be honest but sometimes there are clothes or shoes that is ugly to look at but when you try it - wow its beautiful.
@mikeowl (200)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 09
But sometimes I think it feels ugly to me, but it may feel nice or beautiful to others. It's always not the same to everyone. It all depends on how you feel it yourself
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Oct 09
hi mikeowl I think the answer has to fit the person involved. a close friend you can usually be very honest with,if the'shoe is unbecoming just say so , but with a casual acquaintance you have to put forth a little white lie ,oh they look fine. With your kin you can be more honest. oh they dont look at all good on your feet, try this pair.etc.
@Wizzywig (7847)
7 Oct 09
I'd tell them to choose whichever one they felt best/most comfortable in. I'm sure we've all pointed to some particularly awful item of clothing in a shop and made remarks about it only to find that the person we're talking to has such an item in their wardrobe! I dont usually find myself in that position because people see how I look myself and realise that I'm really not a good person to ask
@mikeowl (200)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 09
Actually when we give out our opinion it's usually quite ok, but most important is whether the one who wants the clothes or other things, itself feel comfortable with it or not. I would prefer to tell him or her that it all depends on yourself on the final decision made whether to buy or not.
@AidanKay (265)
• Australia
7 Oct 09
Hello there mikeowl, AidanKay here! :D It can be hard to tell the truth for you don't want to hurt the other person's feelings. Exactly like what you have just been saying there. BUT, if the person wants your honest opinion then just give them there honest opinion. Nothing wrong with being honest is there? I personally think that it is better to be honest and even if it might hurt the other person's ( or people's ) feelings, it can help in their future. Just try to be tough enough and just be honest for their sake. They are wanting and needing your help, so give them the correct help and just be honest. Try working on that. Much better to be honest and feel like a better person for being and honest person. LOL Hope that I made sense for you lol. Good luck and best wishes to you. Hope that you are having an extremely Happy MyLotting. -AidanKay.
@mikeowl (200)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 09
Thanks AidanKay for your opinion, and happy mylotting too. I always try to be honest with my friends, but sometimes too honest may bring you troubles. Some people are quite sensitive with the words we use sometimes and they may feel unhappy about it. So it's hard to be honest to everyone all the time.
• Malaysia
7 Oct 09
Hi, Mike! I will always give an honest opinion if the persons are close to me. I am sure they will appreciate my answer otherwise why would they ask for my opinion in the first place. Sometimes, my sis would ask me the same question, but when I told her what I think, for example, the color does not suit her, she would sometimes say, 'but I still love the cutting' or whatsoever. At least I did make a point and she would not blame me if later she realized that she has made a wrong decision. However, I understand what you mean when it is sometimes hard to say it straight to some people. This usually happens to me when I go out with someone who I am not really close with or a friend who is sensitive. So, normally, if I am asked this kind of questions I would play it safe. I would just say, 'both look pretty, but it depends on which color you prefer or comfortable with'.
@mikeowl (200)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 09
yes, I totally agree with you. It's easier to answer to people closed to you. But once there is someone who is not that closed to you, it's rather ackward to answer them cause I would feel that if I gave a wrong answer I feel guilty about it.
@artistry (4151)
• United States
7 Oct 09
...Hi mikeowl, If you like the item on the person, then it is easy to give an opinion that will be pleasing to your friend or the person who wants an answer. The trick is when you don't like the item or don't think it looks right on the person. I would say that if I didn't like it, I would preface my answer with, "the decision is up to you, you will be wearing it, but in my opinion".....then I would turn it back to them by asking....."do you really, really like it?" and let it be their final decision that sways them. I think if they asked you, you should be honest but try to be diplomatic, let them decide, but give the your frank opinion, they asked, so they should be able to accept the truth as you see it. Also, everyone has different tastes and should choose items based on their own comfort level. Take care.
@mikeowl (200)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 09
Hi artistry, thanks for your opinion, well, it's true and I agree with you. That's what I always do to my friend too. I rather reply back that the final decision is all up to you. I may feel it isn't right, but some may not. In the end you got to make your own decisions.
@bezini (44)
• United States
7 Oct 09
if its a bad choice, try offering up an alternative. "I think you'd look better in a darker shoe." "a shoe with a squarer toe might be more comfortable." it gives them something else to think about, and less likely to jump into a buy. They'll start thinking about other choices, instead of just that one.
• India
8 Oct 09
well if i was in your place i would have said that its okay-okay not too nice nor too bad.
• United States
7 Oct 09
If you're a close friend to this person, it's better to hurt their feelings a little now than to let them have their feelings hurt when someone else tells them that their clothes, shoes, whatever are unflattering. Then your friend may be mad at you for not being honest in the first place. And if you still don't want to be unkind, then just tell the person "I like this one much better" and steer them away from a bad fashion choice.
@mikeowl (200)
• Malaysia
8 Oct 09
Hmmm, that's quite a good point you had there jacobsguardian. Thanks for your opinion. Next time, I will know what to do to my friends.
• India
7 Oct 09
well even i'm an straight forward guy , and to be loyal i just speak my mind and if i were u and if i was popped up with such question then i would say " I Don't think it's really good but still if you like it then buy it,after all you gotta buy what you like,not what others like..." would be my answer. and after all what friends are for ? to share thoughts and feeling right ?
@novlot (2)
• Indonesia
8 Oct 09
I think you should give your honest opinion. Let him try some shoes. Give him suggestion what you think nice.
@raj_gupta (311)
• India
8 Oct 09
Being honest is the best thing to do in such cases. don't think of it in a way "I might hurt her/him" think of it as "I am helping those who care about my feelings/words in making a right decision". There is a lighter side to it as well...things might happen in your preferred manner.
@rosepedal64 (4188)
• United States
7 Oct 09
Hi mike I can see where your coming from. I too would be afraid that I might hurt someone's feelings. I so strive on telling the truth. I might would have came up some kind of response of like...I don't like it for myself but that is your choice...I know that might be the easy way out but then again maybe your friend wouldn't accept that kind of answer. If not then you might just tell your friend that you don't think it is really for them or don't look right on them. I think putting it gentle wouldn't hurt their feelings..I wish you luck the next time. Have a great day...