What would you do with the body?

Well, happy Sunday morning to you too thea Okay, here goes. The FICTIONAL body has to be disposed of, hmm? First I would freeze the body, cut it into a few pieces, and run them through the wood-chipper. Voila! Just bury the remains.

Glad you said that, Thea, because I just had a spring clean and I'm fresh out of festering corpses at the moment. I have a very nosey neighbour, so I've had to get very good at smuggling body parts out. It's a bit annoying, really, because we have a great big skip just outside, and it's shared by quite a few people, so I could just heave in the body wholesale and it probably wouldn't come back to haunt me. Well, as I said, we have a nosey neighbour, but we also live on the edge of the estate, and all the dog owners walk their dogs past our house. This makes corpse disposal really easy. Simply cut into joints and grate the flesh off the bones with an industrial grater (not an electric one, as we could get a power cut halfway through, plus the noise may alert the neighbours to dodgy goings-on). Then, when the next dog goes past on walkies, shout 'Fetch, Fido,' and heave the bone over the balcony. Job done, and no suspicions raised! BTW, you do realise you have a seriously warped mind, don't you? Just asking.

Hmmm. While reading your discussion, several things entered in my mind., I think I have seen to many episodes of CSI. hehehe. Anyway, my preferred method would be, to chop it up, and then burn the pieces in my fireplace (assuming I have one. hehe )... I think that would be the best way to do it, and then of course, taking the ashes and scattering them to the lake at the back of the house ( assuming there is one. lol. ) added assumption, well, it should be during the winter, cause I think neighbors would be curious why I have smoke coming out of the fireplace, when its summer, and it's like 40 degrees Celsius outside. ehehehe.

just wrap it neatly in a binbag and leave it out for the binmen to collect. i live in an area where nobody would blink at such a thing. in fact it might even fit in a wheelie bin causing even less notice if such a thing is possible. failing that i'd need to find somebody like you who collects such things and give it as a present on the condition it was picked up. perhaps i could put it on freecycle? sorry but i am not chopping it up and feeding it to the seagulls or any messy nonsense like that.

I would cut the body up into small meal size pieces, then buy some pigs and feed it to them over time! Pigs will eat anything, even bones! I would bury the remains frozen in some ice boxes to try to slow down the smell problem. The only problem with this scenario for me is that I am a vegan who feels sick at the smell of meat in dog food...lol I would be a hopeless murderer!

I don't know what 'jb's crime spree' is? Anyway, I had a spooky friend who used to tell me she had thought about this question and her best idea was to bury the body in someone else's grave on top of the coffin. That's a bit rubbish actually as the relatives might notice the fresh earth. Hey, you could easily do it if you worked in a crematorium and shove the body in the cremating machine (I don't know the technical term) when everyone else has gone home.

I'd mail it to Scotland.

Hydrocholric Acid in a rubbermaid tub

This is easy, thea. Remember Deliverance? If you have pigs, pigs will eat anything. Nobody will ever know what it was they ate. It's not like they poop out a hand 2 days later lol. Sorry for the gross disturbing visual but a good friend of mine mentioned just this scenario. I don't think it was actually the body of a person, but whatever it was was um... gotten rid of with nobody being the wiser. Pigs can't talk either, and if they investigate anything, then I'll eat a shoe.

I don't know. I guess we will have to wait and see what EOE tells us since he got the last question about murder right.

Is this the first installment of the body series, Thea? I was going through your profile, and this looks like it might be the first one. I am a little disappointed, because if I have to dispose of a body, then I want to be the one to chose whose body it is and how they were killed, because that would make it a whole lot easier to dispose of the body. I do not want to be on somebody else's "clean-up crew", because then there is far more of a chance that I will get caught.

Top 3 methods - yet not always infallible: - acid. A bathtub of acid will temporary solve the problem. Must be build outside of home in a place where after can be sealed and covered. - concrete. Some like the basement of a house. Also works to ct it in peieces, insert them in concrete blocks then burry those blocks or even drop in some deep lake or sea. - very carefully remove any trace can lead to you (fingerprints, hair wire and so on, then hide it in one of your enemy's basement .. attic .. car trunk .. Highly riscky method, you may leave trace of your presence ... but .. I think is worth ..

theo09, I guess you have heard of Dennis Nilsen? He is our own British version of the delightful Jeffrey Dahmer and he flushed body parts down the loo but he didn't use acid. He got caught because bits of bones and flesh were found in the pipes by Dyno Rod (British firm which clears blocked drains). When police entered his flat the stench of rotting flesh hit them and Nilsen showed them bin bags of body bits in his wardrobe. He tried chucking innards for dogs to eat etc. It just shows how difficult it is to dispose of bodies.

I don't even like handling raw meat! If I had to do this I would probably dispose of the body in some industrial acid or nuclear waste of some kind.

render it in acid,pour sludge down city drains. they'd be hard pressed to find DNA in that mix.

Thea, what would your method be? I can think of 1,001 ways, but I think I will faint each time before doing it.

Omgosh, aren't we morbid this morn, lol. suspicions or not, think i'd just call the police & the undertaker & take my chances.

Oh, you have opened a real can of worms with this one! Haha. There have been many, many movies made on just this scenario. Also, down through history there have been several serial and other wise psychopaths who have ventured to do this very thing. Take H.H.Holmes for one. He erected a huge hotel-type house/mansion and invited women to come and stay there during the Chicago(I believe it was) World's Fair. Then he tortured and murdered them, sent them down a shute to the basement where he disected and incernerated the remains of their bodies. Then there were cases of the bodies being sent down a wood chipper as well. Also there were cases of acid being used. Oh, how about the Fried Green Tomatoes version where he put the creeps body in the barbecue? Shall I go on? All great ways of getting rid of the body. I couldn't chose my favorite if I tried.

I live out in the hinterlands....I'd buy two big bags or dehydrated lyme, dig a ditch, dump the carcass in the hole, sprinkle the lyme, back fill the hole, plant some sod. Voila! I make all gone!

In "Fried Green Tomato's They served it up as the newest BBQ...lol