Do you believe in incompatibility?

I honestly believe in incompatibility. It is a biological and social aspect of our being. Just think about the diversity of societies around the world and how much we hate how some people think. But I also believe that people can still have a relationship (friendly or romantic) even when their different. My boyfriend and I are different in so many ways, yet we have been together for almost seven years. There are many things that I don't understand about my friend, but that doesn't stop me from talking to her. So I guess what I'm really trying to say is that differences can either make or break any relationship. I don't know, I guess I'm as confused as you are... :-b

Oh I believe it and I'm like you...I used to think that way too. Some people are very firm in their thoughts and if you put two people together that are very very firm in certain ways and beliefs it can be impossible. I am very accepting of most people and I do think communication and acceptance go hand in hand. That being said, I think it becomes more complicated on how involved the person is in your life. Things that I would be very accepting in with a casual friend, I would never tolerate in my own home or my boyfriend. I tend to ramble...am I making an sense here? I know what I'm trying to say. It all depends on the closeness of the relationship and what you are trying to achieve. There are different levels of friendship....there really are. That being said...I'm pretty tolerant. It depends on what our difference is. Ok ...I'm confusing myself. I'm just going to read your responses.

I see this more often with people in general than I do romantic partners, although I do have friends who spend more time NOT getting along with spouses than they do actually getting along. My feeling about that is they've grown apart, one of them changed, one of them didn't, and the one who is no longer like they used to be when they decided they wanted to be together forever is usually to blame for the problem. As far as other people, like friends or just folks you meet somewhere? I absolutely believe in incompatibility. There are people when I encounter them, I can just tell they are completely UNLIKE me in every way that matters, in the way they communicate, in their priorities, what matters to them, etc. Knowing this, I don't even usually put in effort to try and get to know them - unless they surprise me and reach out to me. I have been rebuffed too often by people whom I clearly get a 'bad' vibe from and I decided to try anyway. I'm getting too old to deal with that any more, so I really listen to my intuition.

Oh yes..I agree. There are people that I have often thought are just "wired" in a different pattern. There are just some people that are so different that they can never come to that happy medium.

Hi, I think we draw our friends and men from those we are compatible with though probably less so when younger when one can choose the latter because of outstanding good looks, but then ones not obliged to spend much time with them. I do think communication and compatiblity are two different things though and some man may have trouble with the first one whilst being compatible.

also counts for family members,i feel like that bout most of my family,not my close family but the rest of them,maybe i'm just an awkward person

Is there such a thing as incompatibility? No and yes. I like to think there is no such thing, because I believe there shouldn't be such a thing. Sadly, with human nature the way it is, one's doggedness and self-centredness and "do-it-my-own-way-edness" overcomes all human reasoning. One (or both) refuse to see other than his/her point of view and incompatibility is the result. I also believe that in possibly the majority of cases, there is enough compatibility that two reasonable and mature people can relish in and enjoy their compatibility and simply agree to disagree on their other issues - but I know that not all cases are so cut and dried. Of course, in a marriage, where the incompatibility involves life-style, the handling of children, and other domestic values, more complications are involved.

I agree sometimes there are people who despite everything in and out of this world can't get along,communicate or be happy with who they are with or maybe with themselves. Sometimes it is early on in a relationship be it friendship or romantic. Other times it can happen over time. We change with age and sometimes we change to the point where we don't communicate the same way. I have had many friends that we just couldn't talk anymore and we grew apart. It is part of life I suppose.

Of course we are incompatible with some people, after all every one is different - having opposite interests, various levels of intelligence, therefore making us uninterested in certain others. Apart form this we all change during our lives and I see it as no crime to outgrow people we were once close to. It's just a matter of reasoning and coming to terms with this.

Hi, D.! Some of us just can't get on the same wavelength, no matter how hard we try. Actually, if it takes that much effort, it hardly seems to show any sign of working out.

well dawnald, each people is unique in there own way, and some times some people can relate to each other while others can't. it is up to each person if they are willing to open up themselves to the other person or blocked them out, this is why in the world there are such things as friends and enemies, one can agree or disagree with another and some can simple be understanding while others can't this is they way things are. its a yin and yang of life to keep everything balance.

Yep classic case of trying to mix oil with water.. never going to happen unless you change the laws of physics

I think that there are some people that just aren't compatible. They might be the nicest and most well-intentioned people, but due to different interests, opinions, values, etc. they will never see eye-to-eye or really understand the other person. This does not mean that they can't respect or like the other person, but they will never be sole-mates or even best friends. In general, I don't think that is a bad thing, because the variety of people, opinions and view points is one of the things that makes life fun and interesting. If you are trying to have a serious, committed relationship with a person that you are not compatible with, though, it is very frustrating, especially when you are both really trying to make the relationship work.

I definitely agree and I do think there is such thing has incompatibility. Mainly because even if one of the partners are incredibly good at talking things out and keeping a level head in situations, what happens if the other partner cannot handle this? If they have the urge to twist it and constantly 'misunderstand' things then I do not see how it will ever work. Because as far as the non-level headed person feels, they are tryng towork it out, while the level-headed partner cannot communicate at all. There are plenty of different kinds of examples of this, but yea, incompatibility really does exist.

Incompatibility I guess stems from the individuality of a person. No matter how many years we spend with a partner, friend or family member there are still many things that we will not agree with. But even if we don't agree one hundred percent with friends, family or lovers, we can still live with them by accepting the fact that we are individuals with individual interests.

I agree with you some people just could not get along well. Some marriages fail because of incompatibility. When two people fall in love the initially attraction conquer all flaws in each other, love blinds them and they rush to get married but once they have signed on the dotted lines, they slowly find out that they are not compatible to each other. They don't have common interest, the night brings them talking different languages and everything seems to be falling apart between them. Incompatibility is one of the reasons couples split up as they could not see things at eye levels.

Each person is different and each is traveling his own road through life, many times our roads meet but no matter whether our meeting is short or long in the end we must each take up our own road. Of course if our meeting is short we may assume incompatibility, but make no doubt that meeting is of value to both. So look not at the things expected which didn't happen but rather what did happen and learn from that. Blessings

I have that problem with my dad right now. He's always been in control and he's trying to still control every thing now that we've moved out and in our own house. My mom had her shop in the garage which was separated from the house and he's been griping about it still being in there. There is really too much house for one man. Anyways, We've been slowly but surely trying to get stuff out of there and its hard when you don't have gas to drive your own kid to school to try to make gas to go up and there and get stuff out on his command. I told him not do anything with what was in the shop because of the fact that it was our stuff and that what ever was left when we told him we got every thing was his to do what ever with. Anyways we had embroider thread for needle art crafting set up in the shelves like how you find it at joann's or hobby lobby and he just turned it up side ways dupped it in a box after I told him not to do it because all i had to do was stack them in the back seet and not had to pack and unpack them. Anyways, this has been going on for way to long anyways and I'm tired of all the bull crap that comes with it. I'm to the point now to say to He double hockey sticks to you and be done with it. That inlcudes him getting to see his grand daughter which I'm raising. This seems to have no affect on the man, nor does the fact that Ive been his daughter for 26 years it's no wonder I have incompability issues look at who I've had as a role model.

[b]Hello my friend I agree with you 1000% I use to think it was me, I like this different planets comparison, makes alot of sense, I get really frustrated sometimes talking with people and they don't give me the feedback that I am looking for, not much agreeing with me, but put some efoort into our conversation, or you have the people that try to talk when your talking, what the heck is that, I told someone the other day you are rude, she said why, I said we are adults and you talk when I am talking that is rude, wait your freakin turn lol I can go on/on/on with this one my friend, it took me a while to realize this is not my issue other people need to really think before speaking or listen then respond, something, its really sad when you think about it. I am not sure about others, but I have this problem way to often, I need new people to communicate with, really. Thanks my friend, great discussion.[/b]

Yes just make sure you don't get into any relationships with anyone you cant get along with, or make sure they are not important relationships, I have a few friends I can't stand most of the time, but I do care about them, so we just don't see each other or talk much, or I may have friends that we only have one thing in common like a certain sport an the rest of the year we don't till it's sport season again.