To spank or not to spank?

hi ChaoticBeauty...i was spanked as a child and my siblings. we were taught that verse in the Bible. the thing is now with the law you can't raise your child if you're in jail or your kids are taken from you. so now the point is to discipline them without spanking. in the new testament Jesus brought Grace. so maybe sometimes even when the child does wrong and they know they did, doing something nice can send a message. they may want to please you more. not that you should do it every time. i know what it is like to really believe that verse in the Bible and i still do. but we also can't do everything they did in the old testament or we'd be killing people personally for every righteous cause. when people steal we don't cut off their hand. we are under grace. they must still be punished for their crime but we live in a different culture now. and Christians don't have slaves now like the Hebrews in the Old Testament. the important thing is to correct your child to teach them right from wrong. so if you live in a state where spanking is against the law then find other ways to punish your child to teach them right behavior.

I was brought up in a household that abhorred physical assault on a child. That doesn't mean that my father never hit me ... he did just once, when I had slashed at some 'weeds' with a stick. To me, they were 'weeds' because they were growing naturally where they had grown every year and where the seed fell. To my father they were flowers and beautiful (as they are to me today). What I did was wanton desecration and I fully deserved that he took the stick and slashed my legs with it ... hard. That didn't, however, prevent him from being mortally sorry while he did it. I think that it was the only time I saw him cry and I think, now, that they were mixed tears of anger at me and mortification at himself for resorting to violence. The odd thing is that I was sent to two schools where physical punishment (the cane or the strap or the slipper) was accepted and normal (and I received my share of it). I think that, in the child-mind of my age, I understood and accepted the schools' discipline but blamed my parents (knowing that they did not approve of violence) for unwittingly sending me to places where that was acceptable. Since then I have raised three children and have rarely had cause to hit them ... I don't think I ever 'spanked'. When I did, it was out of anger or frustration and I inevitably suffered at least as much myself for doing it. I think that spanking (or some other kind of relatively mild physical hurt, such as ear twisting) is ONLY acceptable if it's done as a known and mutually understood discipline. If it's done in anger, frustration or simply because the parent can't be bothered with the child (that is, for selfish reasons) then it is NOT acceptable and is highly inappropriate. In fact, this applies to ALL discipline. There should be well-understood rules (when the child is of an age to appreciate such things) and they should always be applied with reason rather than with emotion. Before a child is capable of understanding that certain actions result in a slap, I think that spanking or slapping is rarely appropriate. I see so many parents treating children of less than three years old as if they were capable of knowing that they were being 'naughty'. Actually, children begin to learn the concept from about 18 months but for a long time it is really just a game. Sadly, some children never grow out of the feeling that 'naughtiness' is a game ... largely because the punishment they get is random and unpredictable. I am convinced that it is this that leads to teenage rebelliousness and, sometimes, later to actual crime.

I've been raised by a father who hit me a lot. They sent me to boarding school and every time I came home my stepmother found something for him to hit me (my fault or her childrens fault, beating came on me). He even took me down the cellar, to avoid the neighbours hear me cry. Afterwards he said, I care for you if not I would not hit you. This has been like that whole my life home. I ran away at the age of 21. Found my first husband who hit me too. But, hey, I knew that if someone hits you they care... so for sure thi guy had to love me! It took me years of therapy to understand that live is not that way. If you care or love someone you should not hit them. I have never spanked my kids, I will discuss with them why things are not done that or the other way. I notice that that is the best way to educate a child. My children love and trust me. They tell me everything, so no bad feelings about something afterwards. Never ever I can agree a spanking to be good!

I am a primary school teacher and it would be against the law if I spanked a child. I wouldn't wish to spank any of my three children because if I did it would teach them violence. I would much rather teach them to be able to discuss things clearly. I know a man and his dad used to spank him and his twin brother. One day he came home from work and hit one of them just in case. He made them hate their dad. When they got big and strong enough their dad got the surprise when they hit him back. Their dad taught them how to be violent.

I don't believe there are laws against spanking. At least not that I can find. Child protection services will lie and tell you it is against the law, but call any police station and tell them you're going to spank your child. They'll probably just laugh. As long as it's done with open hand there's no law against spanking. You use what works for your child. Some respond positively to spanking, some don't. I found taking privileges away from my kids worked best. Something else might work better for another parent.

You have to correct and discipline children unless you want your child to grow up subject to indiscipline and delinquency. The reason children are growing up the way they often do these days is the result of not correcting them. There's nothing wrong with spanking a child provided you do not injure the child. This business of preventing parents from punishing children only increases the delinquency in the world today.

I don’t spank my child, she is almost eight years old and she is a very nice natured and calm little girl. When she was younger she had her naughty moments like any child and I handled it with time out or by removing something she treasured at the time and both those methods worked well for her. I guess I am lucky that she is so good natured. I don’t like to spank because it is so easy to do that in anger and I don’t like the idea of inflicting physical punishment to my child especially when feeling angry.

Well said my dear lady .I have no kids but when I do ,I will not refrain from spanking .Granted I will no abuse my children but punishment in the correct measure for the crime will be meted out .I grew up on a healthy dosage of spanking and I dont think I turned out too bad .Sometimes I just got a slap and sometimes it was a fullfledged spanking.I got spanked by my teacher my mother and my grandmother ,even though that was rare (she was such a sweet thing )and I learned the consequence of pusnishment for crime.Now I am seeing children commiting all kinds of crime and all parents can say is go to your room or no Tv .Mind you I got those types fo punishment too but I could never in my wildest dreams say that I was going to call the police on my parents for a spanking ,I would have gotten such a whopping,I owuld have quickly perished the thought . Sometimes I cant help but think that the reason that crime is so rampant in our societies is because children arent being spanked enough(I know there are other factors but neverthe less the thought has occured to me several times lol)

I cant even see what are the good reasons behind spanking a child. It just hurt them physically and they might get afraid yes, but does it guarantee you that that child wont evr do his mistakes again? Im not in favor with this, because it will just traumatized the kid. And when he became a parent also, he will spank his child also.

Definitely i am for "to spank". But we should be very careful at the same time where to spank them. Don't hit the children to delicate parts of their body. just to the "butt".

Hello ChaoticBeauty,Well! sometimes we need to spank but in the proper place.But it is beter to talk with them than to spank.Just explain the reason why they were spank so that they will not angry or hates you being a parent.Teach them to obey and follow the laws of God. so that as they grow older they will do understand and be good always.Good luck! and more power!

For the longest time I tried not to spank but the attempt is futile. Children are born to be curious about anything that sometimes they get in your skin.

I believe in the maxim - "Spare the rod, spoil the child." The child should be spanked only and only if he has done something and should not be done in public. After spanking, it should be explained to the child what he has done wrong. If spanking would be considered illegal, how are the parents suppose to impose their values on the child.

i used to be spanked by my parents however i think there are plenty of treatments other than spanking spanking will not only hurt children physically but also psychologically it also twists kids' thought that violence can solve everything which is the last thing we need in such peaceful period

I am not judging anyone who chooses to use spanking as a form of discipline for their kids. I was spanked as a kid. I don't feel that I was abused and I earned every spanking. I am not sure it worked. I raised 4 kids without spanking them and they are good kids. It can be done. It takes time and creativity and more time. The results are not as instant I don't think but they are lasting. What I think is really wrong and causes the most trouble is that kids know that their parents can't spank them. If they do, they can go running to an teacher or councilor and get the parents in trouble. That alone causes more problems than spanking or lack of it i think. IT creates a situation similar to the kid who plays both parents.

I love this discussion and i very much agree with you children should be spanked when they do wrong. The Bible is always right and ignoring what the Bible says against our own feelings of right and wrong is heading for disaster. It is really terrible what children have turned into these days how can a child set his mate on fire and laugh about it it is really terrible that have turned into some thing else. If you want to spank you child do it when they are old enough to know right from wrong and spank to correct when he/she does something wrong and you should be done with spanking by thier teenage years if not it would not be as effective. there are other form of punishment which you can explore. However people who spank and inflict injuries should be punished so that we can draw the line.

Children definitely need to be spanked. I was spanked as a child and I turned out just fine. I think parents these days don't pay attention enough to their children. Take a trip to your local grocery store and just watch the crosswalks at the entrance of the store. You will see countless parents walking ahead of their 4 yr. old children on their cell phones not even paying attention to see if any cars are coming. Also many times I have seen if a child wants something and throws a fit the parents will buy it for them. WTF? Don't reward your children for a bad habit. I see children hitting and kicking their parents. If that was my parents they would have had me out of the store and probably gave me a spanking.

Everybody is entitled to bring their children up as they see fit in a humane manner...My parents believed very strongly with spanking whether it involved a belt, wall, bunkbed frame, or being dragged down the steps...My mother actually slapped me across the face in the principal's office...which i have to admit i responded to the punishment with resentment and acted out more. I now have twin three year old girls who respond very well to time outs and the corner i believe that there is an alternative to spanking that can be instilled as punishment.

I think spanking is bad for a child.Especially in public places.Children also have poise and self-respect.Spanking will hurt the children about these.And not good for developing their personality.

I have a very hyper toddler and starting show a lot more tantrums. I did slap little bit in the hand sometimes, but then actually felt guilty after I did that, not feel proud as mother to do that. I actually believe that child no need to get hurt to learn something or to be disciplined. we don't like to get spank or slap from someone else so why we have to do that to our own child. I'm trying to explain to him when he did something wrong or put in naughty corner till he's calmer and same with me too, no point if both parents and the child show tantrum in the same time, let it cool down first and then explain to them and doing it consistently. I know it's not easy at all but with the extra patient I believe will be worth to wait to get the result as a child they still learn a lot of things and we as parents too. My parents never spank me when I was a kid so I can't see why I have to do that to my child.