would you call me selfish..???

There are two sides to your story. Remember your relatives are also your husband's inlaws. Suppose it was your little sister in the same senario,what would be your response to the same situation. If you have the answer then that how you should respond to your inlaws. Relationships especially with the inlaws can be a bit tricky and if not handled well could affect your relationship with your partner.

When you get married you should be out on your own. Just you your husband and your son. It is just to hard to start your new life when you are under foot of other people it just causes too many problems even if you all get along well.

In laws are never easy. They are demanding and judgemental. Plus, whenever you have a little more than they do, they want some. I would suggest you just make it clear to your hussie that you can't take it and that's the way it is. That way he'll come to accept your position and stop arguing. If you argue and battle you'll only get all the stress you want and more.

Hell, I only work for my inlaws and thats enough for me. I feel that to be in a successful, happy and loving marriage you must live life together... without the outside (daily) influence of parents. You're not being selfish at all... and honestly, I'd tell your partner that you're moving out and if he/she would like to join you, they're more than welcome to.

dear it is difficult to live own life according laws see compromises use to done but in limits if you will compromise out of limits so you can not live so i can not comment because you suffered and you know what situation you had faced so for me its difficult to say anything

I really can't blame you for feeling that way. It's really hard to live with the in laws. They make it a habit to mind your business and sometimes, even try to run your life and your husbands. They also somehow influence your decision and you can't do anything but to agree or else. I don't think you can enjoy your family life if you can't even run your own family.

i don't think that you are being selfish at all... i also can't stand to live with my in-laws and prefer to live just with my hubby no matter how hard it is... i can't imagine having to live with in-laws because i really value my privacy... i don't ever want anybody to disturb us... and i think it is not something that is too much to ask for... take care and have a nice day...

hi gemini oh my yes its so hard living with in-laws. can you possibly afford to have an apartment of your own, even if you have to scrimp on other things? I can understand your husband and his little brother but now your husband owes more to you than his own family,you should come first now. I do not think you are a bit selfish, you are right, you should come first, the others second. Is there any way you two could put some space between in laws and yourselves?

I think most that lives with in laws doesn't work out fine.Its really good to be on your own.I don't think you are selfish.You are just hoping for a peaceful life with your husband.

It is very hard to live with the in laws because you don't have privacy and sometimes they minding your life. It is hard to be in the extended family you need to fit in and you need to adjust the their attitudes.

No you're not being selfish. As I see you just want privacy. I feel sorry about your situation. Thinking ahead, I want to live in my house with my own family alone. That's me, my wife, and future kids. No other people especially my in laws. They can have vacations in my house but I won't allow them to live with us. I may be mean but I just want my privacy and I don't want to experience something like you are having right now. I hope your situation will be better soon. shadow41

hi there, its really hard to be with the in laws i believe. It is better to live separately from them.

first of all, I don't think you're selfish. Never easy and very not good idea to live together with the in-laws after you got married. It doesn't mean that you don't love them but after you got married you need your own space to start build up your own little family. Too many people to be involved is just gonna make it so much harder. Need a lot more adjustment between wife and the husband, to get to know more each other, coz married life is so much different with just boyfriend or girlfriend. Married life is a new beginning for everybody. If you and husband got a lot of emotional stress, will not be good for the child as well. To get your own place would be the best idea.

Hey Gemini Don worry, Its very natural to feel this way. You have every right to be happy and think about your life . you should live life up to your expectation. so stop thinking that you are a selfish person. At least you are the one who can speak your thoughts. So All the Best n Be happy.

its really a pain in the neck living in a joint family because people always would like to control you and want you to do things in a way that they approve of regardless of thier feelings. the things is if you want your marriage to work, you have to learn to take some BS however ensure you specify the extent to which you can take thier BS

To me, it seems like it would be very difficult to live with in-laws. Nowadays it is being done more and more because of how bad the economy is and what not but still I couldn't imagine trying to live in a joint family situation for any long length of time. As you say, the situation itself would have to lend to extra stress and tension between all people involved even if everyone accepts each other in a loving or friendly way. Sooner or later there has to be some conflict. I don't know your entire situation but I don't think that I would consider you as selfish. Selfish would be someone who wouldn't even give living in a joint family a try. Sometimes you have to compromise or give up a few things in life even if it is just for a little while in order to reach your future goals or dreams. I hope that your situation is only temporary for your sake and for the sake of your relationship with your husband.

No thats just wishing for a better situation one that would be better on your marriage, an less stressful.

Stating whether you are selfish in this situation is difficult because from your view point you are not selfish. From the brother's view point you are selfish. HOwever, stating whether your situation is selfish from your husband's side, I'd have to say yes. He should not force you to live with his family just because you are now his wife. If living with your inlaws is causing a rift between you and your once loving husband should be a good reason to get separate accomodations but yet be present in their lives with your whole heart. So to sum it up, it isn't that you are selfish it is the situation that has caused feelings of selfishness within you husband leading to your own personal wishes.