Affairs
By wunderful
@wunderful (55)
October 22, 2009 4:15pm CST
If you have an affair can you truly claim to still be in love with your spouse? Does disrespecting someone in that manner not rule out love? I am confused by those who say they love their spouse but played around through boredom or lack of attention etc.
6 responses
@ericaldo (35)
• Indonesia
23 Oct 09
Yes, I still love my spouse, even though I had an affair. We must be able to distinguish between love and an affair, if we love our spouse, we are bound by duty and become someone else, not ourself. At the moment we have an affair, we feel ourselves.
The best relationships are not under obligation, but the ability to accept our spouse just the way he/her is. I am sure, if such a relationship could be established, there will be no affair.
Affair happened because he/her wanted to escape the routine of romance with he/her spouse
@ericaldo (35)
• Indonesia
6 Nov 09
Sure, if my spouse having an affair .. whatever the reason, I will understand that I am not able to create an atmosphere of joy in our relationship. As I said before, affair happened only because the relationship is going bored, there's no joy and one of the parties themselves do not become what it is. What you are looking for in an affair? As i know .. To be yourself, discover the warmth and joy.
@wunderful (55)
•
5 Nov 09
It is a very interesting insight, do you accept your spouse having affairs for the same reason?
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
23 Oct 09
I have always advised the young people in my groups that the MAIN ingredient in a relationship is RESPECT; that it is much more important to LIKE and RESPECT a potential spouse than it is to love him/her.
Where there is genuine respect and friendship there will NOT be the slightest hint of the possibility of betrayal.
I have been married to my husband for almost 50 years and no thought of flirting or affairs has ever crossed the minds of either of us. We are part of each other and will be for the rest of our lives.
@larish (2234)
• Philippines
22 Oct 09
This also confuses me with the people I know who are having affairs and still claiming that they love their spouse. It is my stand that the moment I involve myself to another person will mean that I am no longer in love with my husband and cheating on him means that I no longer give importance to our relationship. But I guess respecting others point of view on this should still extended. This is a good discussion that you have started. Keep it up.
@wunderful (55)
•
5 Nov 09
Thank you for your encouraging response. I am sorry the comments took too long, stuff got in my way. I would love to have more input from those who are having affairs.
@jndlponti (2402)
• Philippines
23 Oct 09
that is totally unacceptable. If you have an affair with somebody elase, that means you just lost out of love with your spouse. You could not think of hurting your Spouse if you felt love. If your spouse will be hurt, you would also be hurt. and that is love. But if you are the one who is making a thing to hurt your partner, that simply means you do not love your spouse anymore.
@wunderful (55)
•
5 Nov 09
Yes, this is true. It is like with your child, your overwhelming desire is to nuture and protect isnt it?
@nextellady (126)
• United States
23 Oct 09
I dont think you can claim to still love your spouse Love is good not evil and you do not try to hurt the ones you love
