Will you allow your partner to get a tattoo?
By redphile
@redphile (2264)
Philippines
October 23, 2009 9:12pm CST
My boyfriend is planning to get a tattoo but I am not very happy about it. All his life, well when he started listening to band music, he had been wanting to get a tattoo even before we met. He already has a lot of piercings in his body which is okay for me, but I am not getting too excited about. Well, yeah I get fascinated with creative tattoos that I see but then I dont want anything on him. He's already dark in color you know haha!=) Anyway, I once told him well it was kind of a joke that he can get a tattoo after we break up. Well now he wants a tattoo alright but he of course doesnt want to break up with me. (He loves me, I know - haha!)
the question is, am I too harsh or unfair to him? Because I am not allowing him to get a tattoo? I believe that he values me much and Im thinking of it as a test of his loyalty. That nothing can be over me, I am still the most important thing to him, well compared to a tattoo=)
I also said that if he wants a tattoo, it should be my name and his childrens' name. Is that being selfish?Let me know what you think.
Thanks my friends=)
2 people like this
23 responses
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
24 Oct 09
Hi redphile! Do you like tattoo or not? I got a little confuse on you... 
. You said you don't like tatoo but if it's your name and your kids' names, that will not be a problem on you...
. You somehow, contradicting for statement there...
I don't like tattoo as well... whatever the tattoo is.. I don't like. I look at it as a dirt on the skin. Sorry but that is ow I see it.
. You said you don't like tatoo but if it's your name and your kids' names, that will not be a problem on you.... You somehow, contradicting for statement there...
I don't like tattoo as well... whatever the tattoo is.. I don't like. I look at it as a dirt on the skin. Sorry but that is ow I see it.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
hahaha... but you cannot ask your boyfriend to have his tattoo next to your name for you are not yet married... that will be unfair to him. I know you two love each other but we simply cannot predict time. What if you don't end up together???
Knock on wood!!!!
But that tattoo is forever and what would be his next girlfriend would feel seeing that tattoo everyday when they are together? Oh dear that is not fair
.
.
@smooch091784 (973)
• Philippines
9 Dec 09
Well, it depends on a person.. In a way, if your partner ask you for suggestion and your thought about it and take your advice then that'll be a good one cause he thinks what you feel. Now going back to the question, I'm not a fan of a tattoo nor piercing. But if I had a partner that would want to get a tattoo, I'd definitely will say no! Still it is his prerogative whether to follow you or not even you allow him or not. If your opinion matters to him then probably he wouldn't want to have any ink in his body cause you said so. It's not that you want to force him to not to have, even you really don't want him to get one.
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
24 Oct 09
If he likes it i will respect his decision. If he is not certain yet, i can discuss with him the disadvantages of getting/having a tattoo-- to help him in coming up with final decision whether to have a tattoo or not.
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
25 Oct 09
You are definitely right my friend --It will really be a long and heated discussion LOL.
@Judyyoungg (19)
• United States
28 Oct 09
Some people, like myself, have a tattoo because it has meaning. If he chooses something with meaning like your name or his children's birthdates etc. etc., I think it's fine for him to get one if he really wants something on his body. I agree that obnoxious tattoos like tribal symbols or even thorns along one's arms are tacky.
Yet I do believe that you can't ever completely own someone, that you are their partner, their biggest influence and lover. Obviously he loves you very much since he has chosen not to get one, but I do feel like you'd be his "best best" if you gave him some room to do something he's wanted to do since before you two have met.
@Judyyoungg (19)
• United States
28 Oct 09
OH, and just an add on. It can also depend on his design, colors tend to be more disgusting, size and location totally matters.
Neck designs, wrists, or behind the ear stuff are gross, not to mention painful. Arms on guys are also atypical, so is the "tramp stamp" (the lower back area, usually on women). Mine is perhaps the size of an average cellphone SCREEN, on my left shoulder blade, which is covered pretty much 95% of the time. Just some after thoughts.
@TickleMeBreathless (590)
• United States
24 Nov 09
I would allow my partner to get a tattoo. I myself want one, and my partner is okay with it. He also wants one, and I say "Even though I'm the one who sees your body, it's YOUR body, so do what you want to." We're comfortable with each other, and trust each other.
I don't want to sound harsh, but it does sound a bit selfish that you would only allow him to get a tattoo of your name or the names of your children. To be honest, I would be offended if my boyfriend told me I was limited to what I could put on my body. I think it's great that you care enough about him to want to be cautious of what he displays on his body, but to be frank - it's HIS body, not yours.
I'm really not trying to sound mean [I don't like being mean!] but that's how I see it. I don't believe it's about whether or not he cares more about you than a tattoo; He wants to express himself. I think you should let him.
@redphile (2264)
• Philippines
28 Nov 09
no offense taken! =) we all have different opinions, yeah its his body but still he listens to me and I think in a relationship we should have a common ground on things and decisions that will satisfy both parties. anyway, im still thinking if im gonna allow him, i didnt say never.. =)
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
24 Oct 09
It is'nt for me to decide what my husband does or doesn't do to his body. I would not like it though, and thankfully, he wouldn't want to do it.
@laglen (19759)
• United States
24 Oct 09
I would never presume to "allow" my partner to do anything. partner equates to a partnership or equals. you do not tell your equal what to do. I am guessing that you meant that you are against thins and would like him to consider your feelings before doing something so permanent. I do not have a tattoo. My husband does not have a tattoo. I think they are kind of silly. It seems to me that people get them so they can be different just like everybody else! I also think it is going to be so funny seeing these girls who are early twenties with all if these tatts and then see them when they are in their 60s I think it will be Hilarius.
Why not talk to your partner about your feelings and the reason for it. Maybe he will talk about his.
Good luck
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
24 Oct 09
I dont think anyone has any right whatsoever to dictate whether any other adult should or should not have a tattoo, nor what that tattoo should be. If I wanted a one, I wouldn't even ask anyone else!! So,he loves you enough to NOT get one but you don't love him enough to ALLOW him to have one??? "I didnt get a tattoo because my girlfriend wouldn't let me"??? c'mon!! Since you ask, yes, I DO think you are being selfish...
@aisaellis22 (6445)
• United States
28 Oct 09
Hello redphile! Honestly, I don't go to a guy who has tattoo on his body. It kind of gross me out. I know that if he has one, he will stay on his body for the rest of his life. If you don't want your boyfriend to have a tattoo, tell him honestly if he really loves you, he wouldn't do the things that you don't like and that would make you fall out of love to him.
@crisanta85 (235)
• Philippines
27 Oct 09
My husband had a tattoo on his right arm 10 years ago. But until now, he cannot find a way to remove it. If I were you, warn your boyfriend about the negative effects of doing this. Right now, my husband cannot find a better job because tattoo's can be traced through medical examination.
I'm just wondering, what do other people get from putting tatto's on their body? Is it for popularity? Here in our country, the people I know who always have tattoo's are prisoner.. Just sharing! Happy mylotting! ^_^
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
24 Oct 09
Hi redphile: I would say that the answer is yes but at the same time i recognise that you're just taking care of him and his appereance and that's something good. We can't control about everything the persons we love does so if this is so important to your boyfriend i guess you should allow him a tatto and negociate some points, for example, that you choose what kind of tatto you like on him and where it will be. Lol. XD
@RhodaK (177)
• United States
24 Oct 09
ALLOW my partner to get a Tattoo???? That should be the person's own decision. I do not feel that a spouse, or significant other should have the right to stop the one who wants a tattoo. I have 7 and my spouse has 1. He has said to me point blank, "It is your body."
@angemac23 (2003)
• Canada
24 Oct 09
You say your boyfriend always wanted a tattoo even before he met you? Well, than you should be ok with him getting one! You knew he liked them when you met him so you knew someday he would get one. If you had a problem with this, you should not have gone out with him. You can't stop him or not allow him to get a tattoo. It's his body, not yours.
@crimsonladybug (3112)
• United States
24 Oct 09
I really don't think it's my place to tell my partner what they can or cannot do with their own body, as long as it's not something that will cause either of us harm, but I think tattoos are sexy so I'd probably pay for him to do it!
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
24 Oct 09
yeah, that alright with me not a big deal. Anybody could decides what right on them and whatever makes them happy as long as they never get hurt or harm others in the process. I myself like to have a tattoo it is cool like a small one and not really a big one that it makes my body feel dirty.
@danitykane (3183)
• Philippines
24 Oct 09
Hi redphile!Ohhh..thats sweet!!
He will not get a tattoo because you said so..hahaha.. thats actually cute and nice... Well, I think you are just being concern about him having an ink or a tattoo on his body part. If you ask me, I don't like it either. But if my guy wants it and he really does...then, i'll let him do it. After all, its his own body and I cannot stop him to do the things he want in life. As long as he's not getting addicted by it (like he wanted a huge world map on his back!
)then its okay.
He will not get a tattoo because you said so..hahaha.. thats actually cute and nice... Well, I think you are just being concern about him having an ink or a tattoo on his body part. If you ask me, I don't like it either. But if my guy wants it and he really does...then, i'll let him do it. After all, its his own body and I cannot stop him to do the things he want in life. As long as he's not getting addicted by it (like he wanted a huge world map on his back!)then its okay.
