what would you do?

The only person your ex-wife is hurting is your daughter, which as a parent I know how much that hurts you. Your daughter is old enough to know what is going on. That is probably why she still lives with you instead of her mom. I feel bad for your daughter, but I think she understands no one can make her mother be a responsible parent. You could try calling your ex-wife and have her talk to your daughter, but your daughter will know you called her and you don't know what the ex-wife will say to her. Your poor daughter. She will be a stronger person for this.

What ever happen between the parents, children should not become part of the conflicts. It is unfortunate that your ex-wife has chosen to disassociate herself from your daughter's most memorable day and hope she will realize that your daughter is part of her and will take greater concern of her growing part. You can't do anything if she refuses to turn up for her birthday or even send her greetings. All you can do as a single parent is to give the best life that she deserve with all your love so she won't really feel the pain of not getting the love from her mother.

Well, if I am in your own situation i would call your ex-wife to remind of your daughter birthday despite the two of you already have separate ways. Thus, If you know her telephone number you should be the one to call her and maybe she have reasons why she could not attend. Since the birthday is already finish, you should still try to call her or at least apologize to your daughter for unable to attend the birthday.

I would have gone in another room and called mom to remind her before the party was over.

I think it would've been nice for you to quietly have called the mother to see what was causing her to not call her own daughter. If she had a reasonable answer, perhaps this could've all been avoided. Best case, you could've let her speak with her daughter to wish her a happy birthday. Sometimes we need to give a little to get a lot. It would be horrible if she, say had come down with the flu and was in the hospital, yet you had let your daughter think her mother just didn't care enough. In divorce cases, all too often, one parent will concur with the child that the other parent is a dirt bag. This is not healthy. You need to show your daughter that one can not assume. Next time call the mother and see what the real story is. What if she had been in a terrible car accident enroute to the party? What if she was at home, lying on the floor waiting for help? If she truly did just blow her daughter off, then you need the time to think about how you will discuss the situation, in a caring way, with your daughter.

yes, we feel that way in behalf of our children. but this should not put ur ex-wife in bad light. listen to what she will have to say about her apparent neglect to even greet her daughter. who knows there might be something which held her to do that. there must be a very urgent and most pressing thing that prevented her to even call and greet ur daughter. listen to her explanation and decide later. enjoy life!

I'm afraid that there isn't much you can do. Unfortunately, some people seem to care more about themselves than anyone else, children included. I suppose I would have tried to call her and ask why she wasn't coming or even calling, but ultimately it was your ex's responsibility as a parent and decent human being to call. It's not your fault. Just remember that you were there for your daughter and you won't have anything to feel bad about later on or now.

That is pitiful that she couldn't even call her daughter on her birthday. I'm sure your daughter was quite upset by this. I think she has alot of explaining to do. Maybe you should have called your ex earlier in the day to see if she was planning to come and see her daughter or not. Then you would have known maybe what was going on. A phone call I can't believe she couldn't make. That is really bad. I have been away from my daughter for her birthday because she was living in another State but I would send her a gift and card and definitely call her first thing in the morning.

Yah,i can relate with your situation friend. Last week,my son celebrated his bday,and i just throw a simple gathering for him,close friends and some relatives. And to my disappointment,his father did not even bother to make a call(he is working abroad) Thu my son was still young and maybe he didn't mind about it,but as a mother,i knew in my son's young mind he had same question "why". Happy Birthday to your daughter