Are you in a relationship because you want to? or because everyone has it?
By laydee
@laydee (12798)
Philippines
October 28, 2009 7:33pm CST
I was surfing along sites today and found a great deal of questions regarding 'Why don't I have someone in my life when all of my other friends has one, am I ugly?'
I was really wondering why people tend to think this way, these types of questions were usually posted by younger girls and I can't help but look back into my childhood and teenage days when we didn't really bother seeing who's got someone and who hasn't. We weren't bothered by the fact that we didn't have boyfriends at all, it was cooler not to have a relationship because you can spend more time with friends and hanging out.
But right now, it seemed to be different. It's 'cool' to have a boyfriend.
Tsk tsk tsk..
And now you hear marriage break-ups because the married feel that it's better to be single. Whew!
What do you think?
Are you in a relationship because you want to or because everyone has it?
I could say though, I am in a relationship because we want to. Our paths met and we felt that it's nice to get to talk to each other more, thus we have a relationship. It isn't always easy, but it's nice having someone for the right reasons.
3 people like this
17 responses
@snowy22315 (180805)
• United States
29 Oct 09
I'm in a relationship right now partly because I want to be and partly because I need to be for financial reasons. This isnt really the ideal relationship for either of us, but it is what we have riht now. It's future is questionable but I guess I am reasonably comfortable for now.
2 people like this
@lakerfanster (2577)
•
29 Oct 09
That is really the wrong reason to be in a relationship, People who are in it for the money have a name you know "Gold Digger" I'm sure you don't want that over your head so I would end the relationship before you both get hurt.
2 people like this
@sharlionse (739)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
If that's the case then maybe you just envy your friends when you see them all so happy with their loved ones. I am in a relationship because both of us are happy and can't live without each other. I have a friend who I think just want to have someone to be with but not in love really so she keeps on flirting.
2 people like this
@gunagohan (3414)
• India
29 Oct 09
well, im 19 now, and i have not met a girl who crossed my feelings and heart, still i have not entered into any kinda relation, but my heart keeps on beeping to get my girl, but i don't know the way to court a perfect girl of my choice..
i hope this happens soon and like others i would be having a girl and i would be going to cinemas with the mate,
but i prefer to be a single...
happy mylotting..
1 person likes this
@agv0419 (3022)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
Like you I'm asking myself do I look ugly because I don't have boyfriend at all since birth lol. Teenager always follow their friends if one has a boyfriend they need to have one also to be in. I heard others complaining about their marriage sometimes they regret it. No matter what are the reasons for marrying I think you should think about it very carefully because it is serious matter. I love being single at least no one pressuring me, and no one dictating me.
@daliaj (5674)
• India
29 Oct 09
That is quite normal to happen in your age. Try to enjoy being single by doing things you like. Enjoy the time (I mean the righ way) and keep looking for your girl. Being single is a nice time to enjoy and you will never get back ever in your life once you get into a relationship. Being in a relationship is another nice time, but being single has its own specialities.
@gunagohan (3414)
• India
29 Oct 09
the same here, i have no pressure from any side, i have seen my friends being pressurized by their girl\boy friend, asking them to get something, talking in the mid night and they always plan for the future, but in my case, i walk all alone, i love being single, but when i see somebody walking with a pair, my heart longs to get a pair...multiple interactions in human's heart...
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
29 Oct 09
I think there are alot of people who have a girlfriend or a boyfriend as then they feel like they are not the odd one out with their friends.I also think that there are alot of people that get married as they feel like they are going to be left on the shelf so to speak.I think these are the reasons why marriages break up.I am married and have been married for 13 years as well as having 6 children,this is my second marriage.We have goiod days in our marriage as well as bad days,i would not say it is a perfect marriage.
2 people like this
@jodylee_04530 (1097)
• United States
29 Oct 09
I am in a marriage because I want to be. I love the partnership and the bond my husband and I have created. It is so nice to have someone who cherishes me and looks after me. I am the exception, not the rule, with my friends. Most of them are single. We lead very different lives in a lot of ways. They are always talking about dates and the cute guy the other night and how much fun they are having. I am not jealous at all. I love to talk about how my husband and I played cribbage until 2 AM. I think everything happens for a reason and my friends remind me of why I want to be with my husband. I could not imagine being single again.
1 person likes this
@nvtellan (1907)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
Well, probably when I was still younger I could have entered into a relationship because the people around me has someone special with them.
But as I get older, I realized that having a relationship is not just a simple as having someone to be there... only when I need her but to share and cherish what life has to offer us.
I got married because of that. Also, I want to pass on my gene and legacy to my children so I hope they too can do the same. It's the circle of life and we are created for that purpose as well.
@oasis_9 (831)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
Its just awful to think that someone would want to be in a relationship just because its a fad amongst friends. But its already becoming a fact now a days i think... I'm just lucky I'm not included on that kind of generation. When i was younger people were more conservative compared with people now. But I'd still have a relationship because i want to not because just to one with the in crowd!
@daliaj (5674)
• India
29 Oct 09
There was a time when I wanted to have a relationship only because everyone has it. It was during my teenage days. Now, I have a realationship because I really want it. Once I am done with teenage, I felt that it was cool to be single because my friends who had boyfriends always had fights and problems. I was the one who used to console them.
I also felt that there are lots of advantages for single life. I enjoyed sleepin gin till afternoon on weekends and order for lunch from out. I was very lazy and spent a lot of time sleeping on my weekends. I used to go for a walk during evening time and bought whatever I tempted to buy. I enjoyed my bachelor lilfe and after a point I got bored of it. Then, I found a guy and got married.
@harmonee (1228)
• United States
29 Oct 09
I'm in it because I want to! I realized that when I was doing it to just not be alone, I ended up in bad relationships. Then I was unhappy, and would rather have just been alone for that time. I was lucky enough to find a good guy and settle down though and couldn't imagine being with him if I didn't really want to be. Life is complicated enough without drama filled relationships.
@sexyposh (575)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
The truth is, my relationship with my boyfriend start as "because-I-need-a-company" mode... I move from the province, so I have no friends, my cousins were too busy that I can't disturb them, I have some classmates but we have different schedules. My experience in moving in the city was pretty bore until he came along.. I started to go out, I've got someone to watch movies with, I've got someone to pig out with. I've got someone to talk to until wee hours in the morning... Yes, I used him because I really don't know what to do with myself and alone...
Eventually, that need and "using" him turned into something deep. I learn to care about him, I respect his feelings, and if I offended him I immediately and sincerly say my apology.. I learn to compromise things, I make it sure that whatever plans or decisions I made he's part of it.
What I'm trying to say is that, not all relationships start perfectly, like develop love overnight. You're in a relationship because you practically need a company. Its really up to the couple how will they develop it into something deeper and more meaningful...
@irene3184 (898)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
I am in a relationship because I want it and not because people does have it.. If you don't have it now,it only means that it is not your time yet to indulge into a relationship and not you are ugly. Just wait and don't be on a rush.
@pikachu01 (39)
•
29 Oct 09
im in a relationship because i want to be in it..i choose love rather than influence .....i dont care what other people say about my choice because this is a free world and if i made a mistake then its my fault and not theirs.
@sheng143 (55)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
i have a boyfriend because i want it..
i cant live without companions...
at first, i thought its because my friends have their own why dont i have someone too!!! yes, its not easy to be committed. you cant do things in an easy say...
staying single also nice but having someone is better than having nothing and living alone!!! we can own someone but in my side i dont take them seriously!! i might get hurt in the end!!!just like what happened!!!
@earth2jacq (1502)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
I would pick neither. It was a long time before I had a relationship and it didn't bother me at all that I don't have a special someone. I enjoyed the the free time when I was still single. I am in a relationship right now. I didn't force myself to be in a relationship I think it happened because it is now the right time. Young ones should not be in a rush to be in a relationship as that would lead to a host of problems.
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
29 Oct 09
I do not know why anyone would be in a relationship simply because everyone else is because that is just plain stupid if you ask me,I am married to my wife because I love her and not because everyone else is doing it,she is my best friend,my lover,my soul mate ,and my world,and I do not know where I would be without her,and I plan to be with her for the rest of my life,because she makes me happy,and the day we got married was the best and most wonderful day of my life.
@Gongfuboy (130)
• China
29 Oct 09
Luckily, I'm also in the relationship because we want to, though the relationship between I and my friend is just an affair of the heart. And you're right, it's quite a common phenomenon among youngsters, especially girls. They are apt to do such silly things due to one of their friends have fallen in love. We can consider it a latent comparison between girls, everyone doesn't want to be the object of scorn, so they have to pendal faster by finding a boyfriend hurriedly to catch up with others. However, this kind of person will regret their rash decision one day, because they waste their best slots on the guys who not really cut out to suit them. How pathetic!
