wife and drinking

Whether to divorce or not is up to you. However, I feel that if you are in a marriage or relationship with someone, everything should be 50/50. What's good for the goose is good for the gander type thing. Did you ask her why the double standard?

Hi jyaegel: thanks for posting this discussion about the problems you're dealing with you're wife. For me marriage it's very important and i think you must remember that you still love her. If you love her, you should think before making a difficult decition such as divorce. In my opinion you both need to talk because, as you mention this looks like an unfair situation that should stop. If it's the case, she should know that you're marriage is in crisis and that you must go to a couple therapy or something like that. Do the best for the sake of your relationship. You can save your marriage, it's not that bad as you're probably thinking. Have a nice day.

My advise to you is force her to talk about this situation and tell her straight, what you are doing now is letting her lead your Life and that is not fair and it gets worse if you do not act now So talk to her and give her that chance but if she will not be fair in marriage then yes you need to take drastic actions on it, a trial separation would be better before the Divorce but if she does not come of her High Horse then yes the bet is to end it Good Luck there and I hope that one way or another it will sort out for you

A divorce is not the solution to this problem. Definitely not! You said that you love, but why do you considering divorcing him just because she can have fun outside? You can have your own fun too if you wish but know your limitations. Your wife should also know her limitations. I guess, you need an open communication to resolve the issue. Good luck.

My wife does not like it when I drink or smoke. But life is about taking those opportunities and enjoying things while you still can. So I say, have fun live life and you will see that it is all worth it.

hi jyaegel, do you happen to know why she has prohibited you from drinking or smoking? if she has a good reason, if it is for your own health then she is reasonable. but if she don't then that is another thing. do try to know the reasons behind her behavior before deciding to do anything. she must have a reason for sure. communication is essential in a relationship. also tell her about how you feel. maryann7

Probably your wife is not being fair to you. But, that doesn't mean that the only solution is to divorce her. Do not keep it to yourself and do not question her why she can and you cannot. I guess it's best to express how you feel being treated this way and ask for her consent that she should be more reasonable to terms of things like that. unless you have some evidence that she is doing all this because there is a different agenda of her own. Sit down and discuss with her and I am sure there is a better way to work this out than to divorce.

Getting divorced with her is not the answer of your problem, you just lack communications with each other, try asking her why is she don't want to lay in bed with her and tell her that what she'd done is isn't fair...

If she had a fundamental problem with drinking and/or smoking I could she her asking for you not to participate, and I would expect you not to out of respect for her. But she can't ask and then indulge in those same activities herself. Have you tried talking to her to find out why she feels she can and you can't? I would definitely at least try that, and be prepared to listen. Marriage is an equal partnership. Each person has to be treated the same and be expected to adhere to a mutually agreed upon code of conduct so to speak. Perhaps even a marriage counselor could be helpful as neutral party.

As a wife,I think she concern your health, because if drink or smoke will bring the bad health for you, and she doesn't let you go out with your friends,maybe she worry you will drink or smoke, or stayed late at the night. so if you love your wife,you can talk with her, and tell her your feeling. That's will be better.

the way i look at it, your wife is selfish mey, did your already talk about this? what are her reasons why she kept in doing this to you? i believe for a relation to grow theres should be give and take..it's really unfair mey!...is he naggish wife?...got to do something mey! don't waste your life and time to somebody unfairly loving you...your really need to sort this mey, i'm with you!

First try to explain your side of this to her and get her explanation. If you and her can't come to an agreement after that, then divorce for sure. She shouldn't be out drinking or partying anyway having a husband alone, unless the husband went with her. Partying like that while in a serious relationship or marriage just brings problems if not done as a couple in any situation. Might trying checking up on her a little, if she will go that far, she maybe sleeping around, who knows. Besides as many people today getting STD's and aids you really shouldn't take the chance. Hope all turns out well!

Try talking to her. If she refuses to compromise, then you might consider divorce because things will not get any better, only worse.

friend, Divert is not the solution. please dont think straight away about divorce. Talk with her and ask whats her problem. Give her sometime, if you help her in solving her problen, definitely she will co-op with you in all not only in bed. so, first try to talk with her openly and let her know your problems.

You need to talk to her and let her know just how you are feeling and that you are even considering ending the marriage. It takes two to be committed not only to each other but to making the marriage work as well. Neither of you should be dictating as to what one can and can not do.

You know, this sounds a little off and I'm sorry to say this but it sounds like your wife is more like a mother to you than a wife. She is telling you what you can and cannot do while she is free herself. If you want to salvage your relationship, talk it through and get counseling. Otherwise, if she doesn't want to work it out, then you can't force her. Just leave.

i think before ask for divorce from her, try to ask her the reasons why she no longer like to do anything in bed and whats that mean she starts drinking and going out friends which you not allowed ....then after knowing the reasons will then you know what to do in whats best for you both.....

You have to choose which one do you love most, your wife or yourself. If you choose the former then just continue to make sacrifices until you can't take it no more. If you choose the latter, you go get a divorce and find someone more deserving. You seem to be a nice person and I'm sure there a lot of nice women out there who also deserve to treated no less that the best. Decide soon and good luck. Cheers!

Hi jyaeagel, You told that you still love her,did you try to convince her ?if not first try to speak with her,and tell all things what all in your heart.Understanding each other will build your relationship stronger.I wonder why your wife is doing like this,there might be some mistake on you or her?the reason you only know it,so try to explain her and try to solve it,if not go for the second option.But take time before you choose for divorce

talk to her.....tell her what is her priority in life,,explain to her that she already married,,and have a new life right now.set aside the single life and grow