a partner's death on your birthday...

@ckyera (17331)
Philippines
November 16, 2009 12:00am CST
this is something that's really sad. yesterday, November 15 is supposed to be a happy day for this couple i know...they are actually close to us and a friend. they are already old but they are always together and i admire them. yeah i admire couples who stays together till their old age. early in the morning they are happy to go to church together and after that they go home and get ready to watch Pacquiao's fight...and everybody's busy in their house coz its also the wife's birthday. the husband even dressed a chicken himself to be use for the birthday of his wife and even make some jokes out of it... but something unexpected happens, the husband suffers from heart attack and died right away...huh! and so, the supposed to be happy day turned to a sorrowful one... and i can't imagine this to happen...her husband's death on her birthday? huh! i wonder now, how she can celebrate her birthday for the coming years to come, when it just remind her of the loss of her husband... how about you? what's your take on this? can you still celebrate your birthday for the coming years if the death of your spouse/loved ones falls on the same date?
4 people like this
12 responses
zed_k4
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
16 Nov 09
That is just so2x sad. Losing someone in any kinds of situation and circumstance, especially when it happened to our love ones is really devastating. And it happened on the birthday some-more. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.
1 person likes this
zed_k4
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
16 Nov 09
That was indeed so sudden, I can only imagine. I think as long as you have offered some words of comfort, it will be alright for a little while. Perhaps she needs a bit of her own time to mourn. Just check whether she's fine once in awhile but don't talk about the sad things..
ckyera
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
16 Nov 09
yeah, that's what we do...actually my husband talk to her already and comfort her...as for me, i just can't say anything, i just give her a touch...touch of sympathy....and i think it already says it all and sends my message to her... i know she can pass through this very sad experience for she's a strong woman even on her old age...
1 person likes this
ckyera
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
16 Nov 09
yes zed, its indeed very sad...actually i don't even know how to talk to the wife, coz i feel like she's stronger than i am. it makes me cry listening to them saying how happy he was early morning that day and on the afternoon...he's gone. huh! all of us are still shocked on what happen...
1 person likes this
colu41
@colu41 (271)
• United States
17 Nov 09
I would never be able to live with that....It's bad enough that it would be "Your" birthday, it's suppose to be a day about you...no..this would just be horrible..
1 person likes this
ckyera
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
it will be really difficult at first...and it makes us feel that we are all alone in this world..but with those support from our family & friends, i think it can ease the pain and will help us to be stronger & moved on...
starsailover
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
17 Nov 09
Hi colu: yes, i agree with you this is horrible. She needed a lot of support form her family in those bad moments. Hope she receive all the help she need. Despite this life it's beautiful, there are a lot of things to live. If the love or your life have gone and was so beautiful, so great, you should be happy because of the way you have felt that's a God blessing. Maybe he/she has gone but he/she still live in your heart you can count on him/ her now that he/she is in heaven. I'd tell her: you're not alone, your husband is with you, you have your family that we'll be with you. It's sad but we have to continue. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day.
Ithink
@Ithink (9980)
• United States
17 Nov 09
How sad, I dont know what I would do truthfully. It would be so hard to begin with to lose my husband. I know it is selfish but I told him he isnt allowed to die before me, just that easy! We are only in our 40's but have been together for 27 years. I feel so bad for this lady, to have such a wonderful marriage and then to have it taken like that. I dont think I would really be able to celebrate with much happiness if this was me. They do say time heals but I dont know if it would heal enough for that.
1 person likes this
ckyera
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
hello ithink, its never easy to accept when our loved ones die specially if its someone that's really close to us...like our spouse. its even more difficult if we spend so much time with the, happy times coz for sure we'll gonna miss them... i also told that to my husband once, that please don't die before me...huh! coz i will be really loss if that happens...but he also answers me the same, he can't stand it if i go first...difficult really... yeah, only time can tell and heals...but when? we don't really know, its just a matter of acceptance. life must go on and she needs to continue for her children... we just hope that she will be fine soon...
zhouxi
@zhouxi (1752)
• China
16 Nov 09
It's a sad story.i think they love each other indeeed,may be husband was too exited to celebrate her wife's birthday.if i met the situation.i wouldn't celebrate my birhtday forever.
1 person likes this
zhouxi
@zhouxi (1752)
• China
16 Nov 09
yes,really sad .
Criss_121
@Criss_121 (19)
• Canada
17 Nov 09
I don't think i could celebrate my birthday anymore, that really sucks...crap
1 person likes this
ckyera
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
huh! we can really never tell...only time can tell...
glz594122763
@glz594122763 (6)
• China
16 Nov 09
ckyera; we live in the world have to face struggle , paining depresses ,stresses birth and dieth.this news bring alarm us cherish our relatives our lover and friends .i considerthat to goahead when something we wouldn't change to fight for lives .at last ,i wanna say that if i was the wife i will celebrate my birthday with my most pretty smile , missing and praying .because i afraid that he will stay alone in the darknesssss.
1 person likes this
ckyera
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
hello glz, maybe the ife can also do that...but it will take some time, its just normal that she will be sad for the next few years missing her husband, but i know, she can moved on and still be happy in the future celebrating her birthday even without her husband...
ladym33
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
21 Nov 09
That is one of the sadest and most tragic things I have ever heard. That would certainly be very aweful and it would be hard to celebrate her birthday after that. I was born on September 11th, and it took me a few years before I could once again celebrate my birthday without feeling very sad about what happened on that day and I didn't personally know anyone that got killed that day, I can just imagine if it was my husband that would be so hard. My heart breaks for that poor woman.
ckyera
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
21 Nov 09
hello ladym... you have the same birthday as my 'best friend' and like you, she also feels bad on that day of terrorism attack and everytime she celebrates her birthday, she also remembers what happened...but she's still celebrating. well, yes, its very tragic and really really sad, specially when we have a very close and good relation to our partners... its sad but we must accept & move on.
Chaitra Vasanth
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
16 Nov 09
Hi ckyera.. this seems to be a heart breaking one.. I am very sorry for that lady.. She got a huge loss on her birthday.. and its a very horrible situation for her to digest the loss she had.. her future birthdays are really a bad memory for her..
1 person likes this
ckyera
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
16 Nov 09
hello chaitra yeah true. but as i can see her, she's trying to be strong...and thanks for the children that they are supporting their mom. and i guess no more birthday celebrations for the coming years...huh! so sad and i can't imagine this to happen to me...i guess if it does, i will also die on the same day... huh!
haiershen
@haiershen (1080)
• China
20 Nov 09
It is so sad thing that happened,i'm know that it is hard for you friend to be celebrate her birthday for the coming years. but i hope she would be forgot it or put this thing in a small place in her heart. as his husband who was in heaven won't willing to heard his wife's life is unhappy,but hope she would have a very happiness on her's part of life.this wish would be delivery to his wife.so i think forget this matter or release herself is a good way to live.because of that, her will be happy every day in the future.good luck and have a nice day.
ckyera
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
20 Nov 09
hello there... i guess there's no way will ever she forget it. they are really close to each other and every year of her birthday, the husband always prepare something special to the wife...huh! well, even if she won't forget it, i still hope that she will still be happy in the future with her children & grandchildren and friends as well...
shibham
@shibham (16977)
• India
16 Nov 09
hi ckyera. it is realy a very sad news. i cant celebrate my bday because i am neither a mad nor a cruel. it is the time to console that lady, i know too hard but there is none secondery path. anything can be happened. i have already passed similar incidents in my life. more unexpected than reality. but the reality is truth. so it is also truth that we are obliged to leave this world to the way of heaven. i pray for that eternal soul. stay in heaven.
1 person likes this
corrycrystal
@corrycrystal (1775)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 09
I can't imagine of things like this, but it's very sad indeed. I am so sorry for the wife and your loss. I hope she will get through this and I just hope she will find a way to celebrate her birthday in future. She has to move on and it may take times. Oh, I just hope she'll be strong.
1 person likes this
ckyera
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
16 Nov 09
yeah, we all hope that she can still be happy in the future and can still celebrate her birthday with joy...but for now, well as i can see it, i think she's strong enough for this with the support of her children and friends... but sadness will always be there, and it ill really take some time to moved on coz as what i say, she's very close to her husband and a couple who are always together...
Hazelrose
@Hazelrose (2179)
• Philippines
16 Nov 09
Hi cky,Sorry to hear that... It is so painful for the wife loosing her partner on her birthday.The truth is his time comes and we can't do anything for that. at this time her birthday celebration will be so sad.But maybe she can still celebrate her birthdays for the next years but the sad memory is still there.I know that She is strong enough to face it,as a christian.WE hope so for her immidiate recovery.Good Luck,God Bless!
1 person likes this