When ethics clash
By MJ_Dakota
@MJ_Dakota (126)
United States
November 26, 2009 11:24am CST
Are you a "Do as I say, not as I do" person or a "Only ask of others what I am willing to do myself" person?
We may not know that we are either one of these "characters", but generally everyone has a dominate belief of how to behave with others, whether in the business world or personal relationship world.
Basically, when you ask for help, are you asking for someone to do it for you because you simply don't want to do it or are you asking because your plate is full and you need someone to help lighten the load?
What are some options for dealing with the opposite of yourself? For instance if someone who is unwilling to do something themselves and request that you do it for them? Do you do it to keep the peace or do you decline because the other is fully capable, just unwilling? How do you decline in a peaceful manner that does not lead to tension in the relationship?
2 responses
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
27 Nov 09
For the most part, I try to be a "only ask of others what I am willing to do myself" person. I feel that a person should lead by example and treat others the way that they would like to be treated. However, there are some things that I either do not know how to do or am not capable of doing, so I have to ask for assistance from others. It works both ways, though, since there are some things that I am really good at that I regularly do to help others. On the other hand, there are things that I just do not like to do, so I get out of doing them whenever possible, such as cooking. This is not a problem, though, because there are things that my husband does not like doing that he avoids whenever possible, so I think we are about even in that respect, too.
@MJ_Dakota (126)
• United States
27 Nov 09
It sounds like you and your husband are a team that helps each other and understands each others' like and dislikes. My hat goes off to you! : )
I also agree that a person should lead by example. Yes, there is a degree of give and take in life, but how do you handle a person who is only interested in taking? Like a boss who expects more than what is humanly possible for one person?
Thank you for your response. It is always nice to hear of a marriage that is shared.
1 person likes this
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
27 Nov 09
Thank you for the compliment. Yes, I think that my husband and I make a really good team, and we work well together.
I have been on both sides of the situation - worker and boss. If my boss expected more of me than I was able to give, then I would explain it to him or her. I would let him or her know why what they were asking was not possible and offer an alternative suggestion that might work better. When I was in charge, I did not ask anything of my employees that I was not willing or able to do. Unfortunately, sometimes I would forget that I was better at certain things than other people, which in turn lead me to sometimes being the boss that asked more than some people were able to give.
When that happened, though, I not only listened to them but also tried to come up with a plan that would work better, such as having somebody help them with what they weren't as good at and allowing them to do more of something that they could finish quicker.
When that happened, though, I not only listened to them but also tried to come up with a plan that would work better, such as having somebody help them with what they weren't as good at and allowing them to do more of something that they could finish quicker.@MJ_Dakota (126)
• United States
27 Nov 09
Sounds like you have a great attitude and understanding of working together for the goal. Want to be my boss? : )
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
27 Nov 09
I am the type of person that will help if i can but if I can't, I'll just tell them I can't. I have a full plate too but I do try to help anyone that asks me. Not really to keep the peace but just because I know that if I ask someone to help me out, it's because I really really need it.
@MJ_Dakota (126)
• United States
27 Nov 09
That is what I try to do to. I'm just having trouble dealing with someone who expects help, but refuses to help others. I have tried talking about it, explaining situations as they arise, but can't get through to them that some tasks are not as simple as quick to accomplish as they think. When I do ask for help, I'm given a "pep talk" on how to do something instead of the helping hand to do it. Grrrrr.... : )
