My fiance is afraid of heights, is this normal??
By 77klove
@77klove (109)
United States
November 26, 2009 11:04pm CST
Hello everyone...
Well maybe some of you can give me more insit about this...why some people are afraid of heights...
My fiance came down to the mall with me, went on the elevator, escalator she freaks out in a more descret way of course.
We went to Ocean City together for a week or two and I wanted to try out some of their height activities because I'm the type of person who would like something new and see whether I like it, but she would not get on. Just looking other people flying off the ground at a high speed and bouncing around scares her.
From my knowledge she was never in anyway forced or fooled with around heights before, is it because those facility is not available in her small town and that she is not used to it?? or what do you think??
what could be the factor of this fear and is there a cure for it? other than supporting her and showing her that it is ok step by step
2 people like this
14 responses
@jpso138 (7851)
• Philippines
27 Nov 09
There are really people who are afraid of heights. Some might have been cause by previous experiences when they were young which resulted to such fears. Perhaps, there are people who are really born to have this fear. But I think this can be overcome. It depends however on the person. Perhaps slowly exposing the person and providing support will slowly take out such fear.
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
27 Nov 09
You are right about that, and those fears will be called phobia later. You are also right that exposing the person with a phobia slowly on that will make her fear eventually gone but still the best things is to ask an expert about removing such fears. There are proper methods and principles to apply. Removing phobia is a bit dangerous.
@chiumee (850)
• Philippines
27 Nov 09
well, everyone fears something for no reason. it's normal i guess. i am afraid of heights when i say i am on top of a tall building while it is being built, looking down to the ground. because i would feel like i am being pulled by gravity and pushed by the wind. but if i say i am up on board a plane, i am not afraid. i think it's about what you sense or what you think you will sense when you are there that scares you.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
27 Nov 09
Hi 77klove, Well fear of heights is a phobia called Acrophobia and tens of thousands of people have it. It seems that almost everyone has a fear of something as there are hundreds of phobias. I think we would have to call it normal in our society, but I don't think that it's natural and has been brought on by some event in the past that is likely long buried. Therapy has been known to cure people of their fears so it's possible to get rid of it, although it could be a long process. Blessings.
@jahernandezrivas (11288)
• United States
27 Nov 09
Yes it is normal I myself have a fear of heights.I have only flew in a plane once in my lifetime and it was so scary!
@MrKennedy (1978)
•
27 Nov 09
Of course it's normal to have a fear of heights. There is absolutely nothing you need to be worried about, and having phobias is natural.
My advice would be to not push her into anything she feels uncomfortable with, because this will only put a strain on your relationship. I believe there is not much worse than being forced into doing something you do not want to do, so take things slowly and perhaps try to ease her height anxieties slowly, gradually and discreetly.
Maybe some day she will finally manage to conquer her fear with your help, so just keep supporting her and be very patient.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
27 Nov 09
It is normal to be afraid of heights. I am very afraid of heights myself. I have always been. I can't stand being on a tall area where I can look down and all under me is very high. I hate when my kids climb or walk on a tall area.. It gives me the creeps. I have been scared of heights all of my life. It is a fear that I can't get rid of. Maybe she is afraid because she can't deal with very tall buildings. The thought of her looking down below gives her the creeps. Maybe you should try talking to her and asking her why is she so afraid of heights. The reason why I am afraid, may be different from her reason. But, I can tell you that you will never catch me on a high area. If so, I will panic!
@mariposaman (2959)
• Canada
27 Nov 09
Like most fears, it is only a problem if it interferes with normal daily living.
I have a fear of heights, but it is manageable. Even shots on television from heights give me pause. It is not a problem because I recognize it and it is not paralyzing fear so I can put up with it for the periods when I experience it.
Do not be too hard or judgmental of your friend. She is probably more aware of her problem than you are and wishes she did not have it. You cannot just wish it away. It usually takes some kind of professional therapy to desensitize individuals from their phobias.
@doryvien (2284)
• United States
27 Nov 09
Hi Klove,
Just like your girlfriend, I am afraid of heights too. When I take a scenic elevator where I see everything going down while I'm going up, I'd feel really cold and my legs wobble. I've never tried any height recreational activities coz I have the feeling I might faint while on it. I have a problem driving onto bridges and fly-overs because these are elevated places and they make me feel weak and my legs shake. Under these situations I try to psych out myself and say that it's just a few seconds and it will be over - but the fear is still there. I know it is irrational fear but the feeling is real and I just can't shake it off my system. So Your girl does experience real fear and your understanding and support may help lessen the awful feeling.
@songbaofang (111)
• China
27 Nov 09
It is pretty common. I also fear height. Whenever I go to a high place I dare not to look down. If I do I will feel dazzle. I really think it is the humans' instinct because the fear of height prevent us from risk falling down. But the fact is that some people seem not to fear height, maybe it is because they experience the height more and get used to it. I have this experience that by practsing I can loose my tension when I am at a high place. But avoid being at a high place without a reliable security facilities which may cause terrible things.
@BlueSnake0 (13)
• Philippines
27 Nov 09
I think that's not normal, having fear of heights or acrophobia. Well,I don't know if there's a treatment for that. All I can give advice to you is to don't let her alone because she might get panicked whenever she's on a very high elevation. Just be careful with her.
@rjvb26 (2518)
• Philippines
27 Nov 09
So she have a phobia? have you asked her about, is there something bad happened to her at the past in relation to heights? But i think being afraid of heights is normal for other people cause it can hurt people if people fall from heights. But you are good, you are making a progress, but this is just some sort of advice, do not take all things to your hands only, try looking for an expert on phobias, it is really dangerous healing one's phobia specially if you do not have knowledge on it and you do not know the real methods for it. I hope i explained it well and hope my suggestion helps you. Anyway you're still the one to decide but please decide carefully so that no one gets hurt in the future. Have a nice day.
@madteaparty (2748)
• Japan
27 Nov 09
Phobias are something that you can't control, so it would be better if you don't force your fiancee to face heights, as that's something very hard for the person who's scared of them.
I'm not afraid of heights but I have other different kind of phobia, that I have overcome little by litte, but still didn't get rid of it. Her phobia might have an origin, so you can try to ask her and see if there's something that made her feel uneasy with heights in the past. Sometimes talking can help.
@alexfeile318 (60)
• China
27 Nov 09
Even normal people, sometimes, feel afraid of heights, or feel dizzy when standing high. Maybe your fiance is in a more serious situation. I agree that this unpleasant feeling could be conquered through step-by-step practise.
