Friends who buy things for your kids every holiday

@Shar19 (8231)
United States
December 1, 2009 10:33am CST
I have a friend who is wonderful and I've been friends with for 35 years. She is not married and does not have any children. Every holiday whether it is Christmas or Easter she always buys my kids toys and candy. My kids of course love this. I'm glad that she likes to do this for them but I wish she'd cut back some. Like maybe just get them each one thing for Christmas and not Easter. It gets to be too much. Do you have a friend like this?
5 people like this
26 responses
• Bahrain
12 Dec 09
why? it's your kids gain, and she doesn't seem to mind it and is financially capable of it, so what's the harm?
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
4 Dec 09
She sounds like she is a wonderful friend. I too have a friend that is like that to an extent. He doesnt' buy things for the children for every holiday, but the ones that he does buy the kids something for, he really, truly spoils them and actually gives them a bit too much. For example, he gave them each an extra Easter basket at Easter and last year at Christmas he gave them each three gifts, which was almost as much as we gave them.
1 person likes this
@haiershen (1080)
• China
3 Dec 09
i bet you are very close, how friendship you had. i don't what should i to talk with this kindly friend to cut back,as i know if one are keep on giving gift to you children, it is very hard to cut back, it seems likea a habits were formded and all of the sensation of having a own children which were taking on you children.take care! good luck and have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
3 Dec 09
Ypu are lucky to have a friend like that. Maybe she feels bad that she has no kids of her own. It's nice that she can afford to buy them presents all the time also. I was reading the responses and someone suggested you ask her to donate to a charity instead of giving your kids so much. I think that is a great idea! That way your kids wouldn't expect gifts all the time and she would probably feel good too. I would probably be like that if I had the money. I am not married any longer and have no kids of my own. When I did have money I would buy a lot of gifts because I enjoy giving, but things change.
1 person likes this
@risaree (23)
• United States
2 Dec 09
Yes I have friends like this and my kids love getting things from them. But I kind of offset this by having the kids go through their toys every now and then and they pick out things they don't want anymore. We then donate it to a local shelter or some other organization. This way they learn the value of giving to those less fortunate and they avoid being pack rats.
1 person likes this
• Falkland Islands (Malvinas)
2 Dec 09
you are so luckly!! I think you and she are best friends.you don't worried about,because yours friendship is true.
1 person likes this
• Canada
8 Jan 10
I don't see the harm if your friend is doing this of her own choosing, and not because she has to, if the kids are happy, and if the friend is not spending beyond her means. It would be different if she was going broke, doing this. I like to give too the way she does, and for me it's about seeing how happy the kids are, and that's why I do it. To tell her to cut back would deny her this pleasure, and your kids would lose some of the pleasure too.
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
1 Dec 09
What a wonderful friend! And you are a great friend for letting her do this, as she has no children of her own. I understand how you feel about the excess, though. Just tell her this year that with so many in need because of the economy, you'd rather she cut back and give most of what she normally would spend to the Salvation Army or Toys for Tots so that other children can have a gift for Christmas. Many kids won't have anything, not even a tree. I think if you put it like that, she might do it. And telling your children why they aren't getting as much will help them to grow, too.
@Shar19 (8231)
• United States
2 Dec 09
That is a great idea. I think I'll mention it to her. Thanks for the idea.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
1 Dec 09
NO, but i wish i did. Can't see why it bothers u,i think it's real sweet of her. Bet your kids do love it.
@Shar19 (8231)
• United States
2 Dec 09
Oh yeah, the kids love it. I just don't want them to always be expecting gifts from her, which is what is happening since every time they see her it is a holiday or one of their birthdays.
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
1 Dec 09
Uh, no, unfortunately. That's wonderful that you have such a generous friend but I can understand you wanting her to cut back. It's easy for people without children to spoil yours because they don't have to live with them. My mother and stepfather were like that with my sons. My mother told me that she had to tell my stepfather to put some toys back when they went shopping for my son's first Christmas. He had enough in the shopping cart to fill two carts! LOL I did speak to them about buying so much for my kids, though. They would buy $40 - $50 outfits that my kids would outgrow in just a few months! They'd buy them tons of candy, then complain that they ate too much sugar. I have a long-time friend, too. We've known each other for about 32 years now. We both have two boys but mine are older. I gave her all my boys' clothes once the youngest outgrew them. Her boys got my boys' toys, tricycles, bicycles, etc. when mine outgrew them. So, I guess I'm the one giving the stuff. I just never believed that kids should get so much candy, especially on Easter. I'd make Easter baskets with small games, puzzles, etc. and less candy. I did this for my friend's kids, too. Maybe your friend loves giving your kids so much because she has no children of her own. It probably makes her feel good to do this. I'd tell her how you feel, though, if it were me. I'd let her know that I appreciate all she does for my children but that I feel it is too much. I'd let her believe that I feel she should be spending that money on things for herself or for others instead of so much on my kids. I'd do that but try my best to put it delicately so as not to make her feel bad for giving so much.
@Shar19 (8231)
• United States
2 Dec 09
Sounds like my in-laws. They hardly make the effort to see our kids and when they do they bring all kinds of new outfits that don't even fit them because they're too small.
@yugasini (12893)
• Secunderabad, India
1 Dec 09
hi shar, hi due to affection and love your friend is offering toys and candy's to your children,and she is also not having children due to no marriage,why she has not get married till now,what is the problem,i have a friend for lost 40 years,but he won't buy things for my kids,because my kids are crossing 26 years age,have a nice day
@Shar19 (8231)
• United States
2 Dec 09
I know it's probably because she has no children. I don't think she'll ever get married. She's had a boyfriend for years but no urge to marry.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
1 Dec 09
I had a sister like that who would do the same thing whilst they were small but not since they have grown. I am sure that it gives your friend so much happiness to brings gifts for your children. Do not spoil her pleasure as it is obviously what she finds happiness in doing. In return, your kids could buy her a gift and write in a card how much they love and apprciate her kindness. This will bring her so much joy.
@Shar19 (8231)
• United States
2 Dec 09
I know you're right. I just don't want my kids to always expect gifts from her when they see her.
• China
2 Dec 09
well.that's depends on your friendship and she really love your children then she just show her kindness. just tell your kids to love this kindess antie more and keep your friendship green. if she can't afford to that cost. you may give her some tips some way . best wishes to you and your friend.
• United States
18 Jan 10
I don't have children, but I buy my friends' kids Christmas and birthday gifts. Sometimes people who don't have childen like to spoil their friends. I can understand how the constant gifts would be a bit much though.
• India
2 Dec 09
No I don’t have any friends like this *unlucky me* but I remember a gentleman who was a distant relative from my mother’s side who used to stay in another city and used to visit our city for his personal work twice or thrice every year. Everytime he came, he used to call up mom and come visiting us laden with goodies. As a child I loved him of course (just as your kids do now) but I remember way then that mom used to be very embarrassed. We of course could never return and of the gifts to him or give him any return gifts and now I can understand mom’s discomfiture. I don’t exactly remember how, but gradually this gentleman faded away from our family but it was good while it lasted.
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
2 Dec 09
Hello Shar. It is very nice of your friend who always buys something nice for your kids. I am sure that you must have been very good to her as well and she must like your sweet kids and treats them like her own. Well, I don't have such friends as described. But I still appreciate my friends being nice and kind to me and my family. Enjoy your life, Shar.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
2 Dec 09
Hi Shar, The reason must be, she doesn’t have kids and she really loves your kids as her own. But I understand your concern too; you don’t like to dig the wet land. It is an appreciable attitude. You can talk to her and request her to cut short her expenses. But you should handle her carefully without hurting her innocent feelings. I don’t have any friends like yours but my elder sister is doing the same, she is doing abundantly and I used to scold her but no use.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
2 Dec 09
I don't have a friend like that but I think it's awesomet hat you do. I would love to have a friend I had been friends with that long. I bet you are very close. She is doing that for your children because she wants to so I wouldn't worry about it. When I get something for someone I do it because I like the way it makes me feel and I bet it's the same for her. Take care.
• United States
2 Dec 09
I have an aunt that buys for my kids and even gives me money to bought more things for my kids. My husband has asked her to cut back for years and she always says she is cutting back but really have not seen a cut back except maybe in how much she spends which is no big deal for I would be happy with something she made for myself in fact last year I told her to make me a crochet blanket for Christmas for I love them. I tell her to do more things like this for people instead of spending more then she should but her husband thinks if you don't spend money it is not a gift for his kids and grand kids but if she gives me money he is throw the roof for she is spending money for someone else other then his side of the family but she continues to do it. She said she was just giving money this year and last night she told me she has a box to send me with a few little things and for one they are never little. We have since quit trying to get her to cut back and save money for things she needs for it really does not do any good. Maybe give your kids pointers on cutting cost and making or giving from the heart and not from the commercial world we live in.
@mawong79 (215)
• Malaysia
2 Dec 09
Wow, you have a great friend. I don't think this is wrong to offer your kids all these gifts. Your friend is just wanted to express love & affection to your kids. Myself also always buy toys and foods for my niece when everytime Im back to my hometown. I was very enjoy to see them happy & smile to receiving my gift. And the kids also will learning to give/offer thing to people in future.