If you were married and unhappy would you stay with your mate?

But dear having baby is not a reason for happyness and keep alive the relationship, there are thousands of couple those have kids but they are not happy at all. ya but if kids are not there it can be a very big cause for not to keep the relation alive.

Great point- There are ups and downs in all relationships. There are bad times in marriage (which is natural) but that does not mean that marriage is bad. Every day of your life isnt going to be perfect. Your going to disagree, yell, cry, fight, dislike, your mate once in awhile.

LetranKing25, I'd just add a comment to the comment you have posted on my response to this discussion. In perspective, Love being a rule than an exception - your situation painted is quite an unfortunate but yet realistically brutal, where the other half actually decides to take the drastic course. It is truly a painful episode indeed however, if love rules, where swallowing the painful pill is inevitable, we need to remember the very first reason the 2 of you actually chose the union path and each other. I believe there is one aspect of consideration where Love is doing what is in the best interest of the other half. Where it is all about doing good for him/her, while never compromising or disrespecting the worth of another. So, going along this line, letting go and having in mind always to be considerate and wanting the other half to be happy should suffice the inevitable parting in an amicable and happy fashion. At the end of the day, we need to remember and realize that the whole episode does not have any indication as to who has won or lost as the interpretation of a victory or a loss was never in existence or a consideration at all in the first place. Love being a rule also could sometimes require us to let go too.

Well, that sucks! letting go isn't necessary what i had in mind i guess it's a lot more convincing when i have no more feelings for that person.

Jenlex, I'm sorry about how he treated you. i'm against divorce when kids are involved, but in the case of violence, I say go, and go now. You have your children to consider. Violence against a mate is wrong, no matter what the circumstance. take good care of yourself and your children, and God Bless. I know it is a difficult decision to leave, especially when children are there, but it is for the children you must go. It's not the stress you need to worry about, but the physical damage to yourself(not to mention the chance of escalation to the point where you DIE) but the damage to your children, both psychologically and potentially physically. going is the right thing to do.

Thank you for your support. I really need it right now. I'm just more scared than anything right now. I don't know where I'm gonna go with my daughter. It's hard living on your own but its 10 times harder if you have children. Thanks again for being there for me even though you don't know me....thats how friendship starts out.

omg Jenlex I am so sorry to hear that. I know i dont know you or anything but If there is anything i can do to help you or even if you'd just like to talk let me know. Take care of your self and your children. If he can hit you he can hit anyone including your children! Plus you dont want you lil girl growing up to think this is how a man treats a women. No women deserves to be hit! Once a man his a women its almost guaranteed he will do it again. Good bless you and good luck

Hi happy2512, I'm sorry to hear that your not happy right now. Cheating is a really bad thing and can truly destroy a relationship. The trust is gone, and the love is hurt. I honestly hope things get better for you. I take marriage very seriously and it would have to be really bad for me to end my marriage but I think your right if things don't get better maybe people should give leaving a try because life is short and you don't want to waste it with someone you don't love /trust/ are happy with. You don't want to stick around someone and in 30 years (when its to late) regret the better half of your life. I wish you all the best

If you're waiting for someone to change for you, you're wasting your time. How about, instead of waiting for him to change (that's like you're blaming everything on him), try changing something about yourself? try counceling for you, not for y'all. concentrate on making yourself a better person. Not for him, for you. Self improvement for selfs sake is good, and it is lasting. Any changes made for someone else won't last, and they usually make one miserable. Try taking a look at how you treat him. remember, he's a man, not a woman, and as such, he views things differently than you do. I'm not casting stones here, because I don't know you, but maybe the way he's acting is in response to the way he perseeves you're treating him. Treat him with dignity and respect. treat him like a king, and he will treat you like a goddess. Unless you're already doing that. If so, then you probably married the wrong person.

if a guy ever hit or cheat on me i'd leave him... there would be no way i would stay no matter what.

but what if that evolution of the person leads to leaving the hubby to another person because she doesn't love his hubby anymore and she wanted to take the kids from him, hows that for evolving partner. i know it's about sharing of lives and ideas and getting along, No wonder relationship doesn't last longer now a days. well, I agree LOVE is the rule!

I really believe in marriage and i don't think i should be thrown away however i do see your point and agree with it. Life is so short and as you say precious why would you wastes it! If both people (or even one person) hate being in the marriage and is sad and depressed all the time it is best in the long run to end the marriage. thank you for your post and for being so upfront and honest!

That could really help... trying to find out excaty why your not happy... you have to ask yourself why... and how can i fix it than be open and honest with your husband

I'm sorry you had to go through that. cheating is never the answer. no one should ever cheat on anyone! I hope the pain she caused you has passed! Good luck

Hi! I agree that in extreme situations you may take any step.

I totally agree. No one is perfect, no relationship is pefect... lift isnt perfect It would have to be really really bad for me to break my marriage vow and get a divorce! BUT i have to say if he cheated or hit me i'd be gone the same day!

Hi, Yes i am married! I am happy with my husband and things are good (we've only been married like 6 months so i know we have a lot to learn and a lot of growing to do) This post wasn't about me lol I don't think I'd ever get a divorcee (unless he hit me or cheated than C YA!) Thank you for all your tips (that i will try fyi... especially the one where you set up a time to talk about issues you had and work them out... then at the end of the convo let it go and stop being mad... that's really smart!) Thanks again

Great point. Love is not like a story book were everything is perfect. SOmetimes love hurts. the people you love the most can hurt you the most. If you got married its because at some point you were in love so why not try to get that back again best response! :) Thanks for posting

i do believe in relationships and wats better than a husband wife relationship it is the most strange and beautiful relationship ever amde ont his earth we should respect it and if there is any problem in it u should try ur best to solve it