How to tell your boyfriend that you are getting married to somebody else

Tell him its only pure business as you've said it. Tell him you'll petition him after you got divorce. He'll have the American dream in his hands too.

Yeah.It's really a hard decide for you.What I want to say is marrying with a person you don't love is really suffering.With that person even you went to Ametica and could be stay there you may not be happy.

Ugh! that is hard situation, my friend. It seems that I feel how pain it created to your boyfriend. He is waiting for you and assure that you are his destiny but in a little tick of time he lose you? But I think he is understand if he loves you. No, one will decide on that part but you. just explain to him the reason behind it and that is not your will but the will of your parents things that is against your will... If you refuse your parents will. I think you can stay with your boyfriend but if you can't you should talk to your boyfriend in a good way...Be marry to that person whom you do not love then divorce him after so that you and your boyfriend be together forever...

Hi kafueenu I am from the US and I wanted to tell you a few things. First of all if you decide to this you have to stay married for a year. You have to live in the same household. They do home checks without notice and continue to do so for up to that year. It is not that easy to become a citizen. Other words not easier just because you are married. On the other note, your cousin might find someone in the states that he can fall in love with and can't do anything about it because he is married to you. I would tell your mother that you can't do this and that some day you will get your chance to come to America. If you go along with this then you get caught they will ship you back to your country and you lose all the way around. Your boyfriend,your friends and the chance to come back to America the right way. You have a lot at stake here. Be real careful. Keep smiling.

It is a very difficult situation but everthing depends on you. Are you going through with the wedding, if you are, then you have to tell your boyfriend about it because if you don't, you would be betraying him. Tell him to understand that it is your parents are involved in this and it is difficult for you as well.

It is never easy to tell someone that your breaking up with that person because you have someone new or has lost feeling for that person. I know this because I had a friend and he told me that his girlfriend is breaking up with him and is going to get engage to the new man soon. He is a great guy and I can't help myself to sorry for him. His ex said she had to marry the new man because her family wants her to have a financially stable man that can take good care of her need. My friend was in his second year in university at that time. It was hard for him to accept...and during his final year, he told me his ex wanted to return back to him but it was too late for them to catch up, he had moved on...

umm this is heavy

What is wrong with your mother? Why would she do that to you? Your boyfriend is going to be so mad at you. How could you do that to the man you love? Isn't there some other way to come to the U.S. without having to marry a man that you do not love for it?

oh honey i am so sorry to hear this. this has got to be really hard on. I think your parents asking you to do this is wrong and very unfair. there has to be other was of coming to America besides having to get married. I would put my foot down and just tell them no. good luck

hi, wow... this is hard. I never been in this situation before but if I were you and in my family... I will decide what I want and who I should married to, not A range Married. my religion is still have a range married but not in my family. how long have you been with your boyfriend? does he has a job? sometime, he doesn't have anything to depend on so your parents think other way for you. you can try to talk to your parents about this before everything is too late. Against your own parents is not nice but for your future life then you have to talk to them. Tell them the truth that you have boyfriend and u want to be with him... talk to them.

I'm so sorry about your unfortunate situation but as you can see, they don't have the right to force you to do something stupid as that. Or maybe you can talk to this cousin of yours and tell him that the marriage is only for the name and nothing else not to be consummated. Maybe he is willing to help you. Above all...you can still control the situation by doing the right thing no matter what the cost.

Wow, that's a situation I would not want to be in that situation. He is going to be really hurt. You have to ask yourself is it worth it.

I know plenty of people who are here legally, who are successful. They have a hard time making it official these days because of the economy. Many of them have considered finding someone to marry so that they can be US Citizens.

hi there, if i were you definitely i'll follow what my heart n feeling says. i can understand what u feel right now as i had almost a similar story like yours, but a bit different. at that time, i chose a wrong decision in regards to my marriage few years ago, and now i can say i'm suffering because of choosing a wrong decision following what my parent wanted me to do. but, anyway my life must go on and i must do my best to enjoy this life, forget the past. so, my advise to you, follow what you think is the best and don't lie to your own feeling. as you said, you can go to america one day, then make that dream comes true with someone that you really love.

You are in a very tough situation, as I see it. You are torn between love and obedience to your parents. But I can tell you that marriage without true love is a disaster and going ahead with what is planned will be a lifetime regrets for you as it is not only breaking the heart of the person who you truly love but you become a puppet of selfish desires of others. You must remember once you are married off, you have your own world to lead and leading your life with a person not of your choice means a sure hell on earth. For once, you must go against your parents as it is you who bear the brunt should anything happen to this match making union.

Hello kafueenu, I do believe we are supposed to have the right to make an important decision in our life. By saying this, I don't mean that we can simply ignore our parents or go against them for no reason. I can't figure out being married to someone that I don't even know. Arranged marriage is not totally a bad decision, but in your situation, the reason given is totally unacceptable. You are forced to marry someone whom you don't really know just because at the end of the day, you can get a citizenship and can bring along your family too. I think your mother supposed to find a better reason for that! As for your boyfriend, the news might hurt him if he really loves you so much. Unfortunately, love doesn't mean that you can be together finally. True love also means to let go though it is the toughest decision one has to make.

First off my friend, you just blew it for yourself. You just told millions of people that you are planning to marry someone just to get into the country. If you arent aware let me tell you that the that is a big problem in the US right now. They will check I promise you that. They do background checks on every one in the family, married or not. They quiz you on stupid things like what color is the kitchen telephone. They do it because only a husband/wife knows those things. You must be married for a couple of years at least. Whoever told you that is was as simple as a piece of paper was highly mistaken. Nevermind your boyfriend, that is the least of your worries. Your parents want the best for you I am sure but this isnt a good idea. Plus we are in a recession in the US. Unemployment is in the double digits. Im sorry we have enough going on here. Be careful because you can ruin your life and possibly go to jail. If you really love your boyfriend you would never marry anyone else for any reason. I dont care what it is. Its not for a better life because the United States is in great turmoil right now. DL

I think that what your parents are asking you to do is wrong and if I was in your shoes I would refuse and stay with the man I love. What they asking you to do is marry someone for convenience and, call me old fashioned, but to me that is not what marriage is about and I sense that you feel the same way. If you want to go and live in America you can make that a goal for yourself and work towards to it and, if it is meant to be, it will be; to do it by marrying like that is just not right in my opinion and your parents have no right to expect you to oblige.

I don't know much about what you're going through. I can't even imagine how much pressure is on you at this time!! It sounds to me like you're leaning towards staying with your bf, and if that's the case, then I would say stay with him. Honestly, with things like this, I say go with your gut. So, if your parents want you to, do you feel like you have to do it? Or, are you okay with telling them 'no', if that's what you decide?

Hi... I can imagin it must be a hard time for you to decide. You are a nice daughter, trying to consider the feeling of your parents, then your parents should also consider some of your feeling, right? Do they know you already have a BF? Does your step cousin like you? Does he also believe you are compatible? If the answer is no, then you totally have the right to say No. If you think you and your step cousin can be a good match (for long term family), then it is also reasonable to choose him, and continuously be a good daughter to your parents. If you are going to marry your step cousin, then should now try to make your current GF realize that you are "not compatible" with him, etc... let him know all your "negative side" etc. Anyway, I wish everything can go well on this issue! Be strong and decisive.