I Need To Vent!
By tcycharmy
@tcycharmy (102)
United States
December 21, 2009 5:04pm CST
Please help to figure out what I did so wrong with my sister yesterday, that she has not talked to me for almost two days. This is what happened: About two months ago my mother asked if I would like to volunteer for Santa's Toy Drive in Long Beach from 12 to 4pm, it is in the newspapers and everything, and I said yes. A week after this my sister found out that Harvest (church) Christmas show was on the same day at 6pm and was wondering if we can make it as she wanted us to see it. Naturally we were not sure, as the drive to Long Beach and back is about three to four hours round trip. We did not say no and we did not say yes as again we were not sure if we can make it. So fast forward to yesterday. My mom and I spent about five hours handing out toys to children whose family could not afford much. Around 4pm I get a text wondering if we left yet and we said no, because they started late and there was one more round of kids waiting to receive toys. She asked if we can leave early and we said we don't know. In the end, we left a little early around 4:10, but to walk to our car and use the restroom took another ten minutes. So, about 4:20 we are driving and by 5 we were still in Long Beach because traffic is horrendous, which we told her might happen. We took another ten minutes to get coffee as my Mom was falling asleep driving, then we drove all the way home, not even stopping for anything to eat even though the last time we ate was 9 in the morning. We noticed that we had fifteen minutes to the Harvest show started and asked her if she has saved us the seats she promised if we can make it, as thousands of people show up and you would have to stand outside in the cold to watch on the screen if necessary, she said no as we told her we weren't coming, which we never once said that we weren't, and hanged up. Needless to say, that was the last time my sister spoke to either my Mom and I (she lives with me). I asked her this morning what I did wrong that she feels like she needs to punish me and she stated that she just wants to be left alone. She didn't even tell me she was leaving to work so I can watch her son, she just up and left. My sister is a sweet person, but when she feels she is wrong she lets you know. So, should I apologize even though I felt I did nothing wrong. Or did I do something wrong? All I know is that I feel really hurt about something that was really out of my hands. It was either help out needy children for Christmas or make my sister happy and go to her church. I feel like I shouldn't need to choose and that we were trying to make we did not miss it on purpose as I have been to her church before and enjoy it.
2 people like this
6 responses
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
21 Dec 09
I can understand that your sister would have liked you to attend the Christmas show but I have to say that I think she's being really unreasonable in her behavior. She KNEW that you and your Mom already had plans for the toy drive (especially if you decided to do it months ago). I'm sure she was disappointed that you couldn't attend the show but what you were doing was a very good thing and I think she should have been more supportive. The only thing I can say in her defense is that maybe you should have just told her no, you weren't going to attend the show, instead of leaving the plans up in the air throughout the day. She could have gone and just enjoyed it without the back and forth of wondering if you'd arrive for it. It sounds like she would have been mad either way but at least it might have saved her giving you the silent treatment over it. That seems so unnecessary. Congrats on the toy drive! I hope it was very successful and made a lot of children's Christmases a little bit brighter! :)))
@tcycharmy (102)
• United States
21 Dec 09
Thanks for your comment. We did tell her no at one point because she kept hassling us about it, then she got upset that we said no and that we already made up our mind not to go even though we were not sure we can make it. So, it is like if we tell her no she is mad, if we tell her maybe she is mad, and if we said yes and couldn't make it she would have been mad. It was not like she went alone. She had about five other friends with her. The toy drive was a success. We had about five hundred plus children come in and pick at least two toys that was set up like an actual toy store. For the older kids, they can get shoes, wallets, perfume, belts, clothes, skateboards, bikes, balls, etc. The children couldn't believe that they can get new toys without having to pay for it. I enjoyed it immensely until that moment with my sister.
1 person likes this
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
22 Dec 09
I think she's the classic case of "you can please some of the people some of the time... but some of the people NONE of the time." It seems she was determined to be mad, no matter what. It's unfortunate but water under the bridge now. You were doing something much more valuable... and it sounds like it was AMAZING! What a great experience for you to be part of -- and I'm sure the looks on those kids' faces was the most rewarding aspect!
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
27 Dec 15
There are so many times in our lives where there will be more than one situation that conflicts with another. It is to bad your sister does not understand this but you are one person and being so far away it is impossible to know how traffic will be or any other issues that comes up. She will have to talk to you eventually so give her time and hopefully she will drop the whole issue. Some times a little time will help someone think things through better. Good luck.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
22 Dec 09
I don't think you should feel bad. It sounds to me like your sister is acting like a brat. You had a previous commitment which you had to honor. It wasn't like you and your mom were off shopping. You were handing out toys to families in need. You tried your best to get there and if she would have not been acting like a brat, she would have saved your seats and you would have been able to get in there and sit down with her.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
26 Dec 09
sounds to me as if everyone is just tired and stressed. It doesn't sound as if you did anything wrong at all. I'm sure tho that your sister was really hoping you could be there and was a little disappointed at the last minute news that you would not be. I probably would have told her from the start that odds were that I probably would not be able to make it. Still you tried and you were not wrong. I'm sure this will pass and your sister will see that it wasn't such a big deal and no need to be angry at you. If it were my sister, I'd just tell her I love her and give her a big hug and tell her that I'm sorry we didn't make it to the show.
@malamar (779)
• Canada
27 Dec 09
I don't think you did anything wrong at all. You tried to do the best you could, and that's all we should ever ask from our loved ones. Chances are your sister will get over this little pout in due time. In the meantime, just focus on he joy you brought to all those children you helped that day! From my perspective, that is something you should be very proud of yourself for doing.
@jeanene72 (16)
• United States
25 Dec 09
No, you didn't do anything wrong. You kept her informed and were non-committal, of course, because you were doing A GOOD DEED. She just didn't get her way. Iknow people like that, my daughter is one of them. Good natured usually, but when she wants you to be there she just wants you there, no matter what, even if an earthquake occurred and kept you from coming she wouldn't like it. Your sister's behavior is unreasonable. Don't grovel, she'll get over it.
