People that you want to help and they ask you for advice but...

You shouldn't be annoyed because it is only an advice. It's still up to the other person if she will take the advice or not. Usually people who asks for advice just wants a second opinion, if what they are thinking is somewhat in the same level as yours. Do whatever help you can give, but always remember that it is still their choice on what to do, because it is their life. Give them the freedom to judge for themselves. If they make the wrong decision, then at least, you can tell yourself that you did your best to help. I have 2 friends who keep on calling me especially when she and he needs advice. I tell them straight what's on my mind. They thank me for the help. Then later I find out that they didn't follow my advice, then they call me up again and tell me that things didn't work out well, and tell me that they should have followed my advice. Oh, well... That's life..

Yes, it is quite annoying when people approached you, occupied your time by hearing out their problems and you giving your best to give him/her the best answer only to receive criticism or negation from that person. If a person is like that, I'll just stop talking and go on my merry ways. Just ignore and remind myself not to give out advices to him/her again.

I have had both kinds of people. People who ask for advice and don't follow it when I help them, and people who follow every single word I say in detail. It also depends how well can you convince them to follow your advices, but yes, it can get extremely irritating, they come and ask us for some advice and then when we help them out, they will contradict our opinion or solutions to their problems and do only what they feel like doing, and finally end in trouble, and run back to us again and shout for help. I have such a friend and she is extremely irritating and I am just not picking her call these days.

hi ishme^^;; yes, i have a friend like that and i hate it. i don't hate her ofcourse but i hate this kind of behavior. well, i'm not really good at advices in emotional concerns but i can give some based on experience and most likely she's asking for help or favor. i would ofcourse tell her exactly what to do and im sure it would work when she follow it but she wouldn't do it. and the next thing, she would come again for help for the same problem which already gotten worse because it wasn't attended early so we have to deal with more difficult consequences. i hate it when someone is just waiting for someone to do it all without she herself exerting effort

Hi ishme 4 nowz: actually my best friend always does it. I think that, when people ask for advice but really don't listen, they are simply trying to explain to another person their opinions or simply they want that someone listen their problems but they're not really interested in what you need to said. I think that's annoying too, like a waist of my time. Thanks for starting this discussion, I think we all have given an advice that the other person don't listen. Hope you are having a nice day. merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays. -Alvaro.

There are those people who ask for advice and never take them seriously. I would be annoyed with them but if you see it the other way, its not your lose actually but theirs. I often give advices about work related problems in my company. And I don't expect that all of them would be followed the way I say it. Advices are important to people whom seeking for the right action to do. But when the person do not even listen to your advices, then its his/her fault, not yours.

god,yes.i know too many people like that. i also know people that come to me over and over with problems(and many are the same people)-and i listen patiently out of friendship-but boy,the second YOU have a problem,they don't want to hear it,or you "complain too much" and are "bothering" them.. i pretty much tell people to ask someone else now.if they're going to be like that,i don't have the time for it.

ishme4nowz hi oh yes I had a tablemate here when I first came that continually asked for help and advice,but when I gave her my advice she always said yes, but, and never ever took it so I just gave up after so long a time talking my head off and not getting anywhere with her.

Yes, I am as frustrated as you are. One of the reasons it's so frustrating is that a good friend will call me up or talk to me - and everything they say is a gripe or a complaint and they are upset in some way about a situation. Then they ask me how to handle it, what I would do. I proceed to tell them what I would do. They go back and forth admitting that I'm right. But then they DON'T DO IT. And then an hour or two later, a day later, they call me up again and complain AGAIN about the same situation they did not deal with earlier. I feel like if you ask for help or advice and then you aren't planning to take the offered help or advice, then don't complain to me after. It's very very frustrating because I know with 99% certainty that all would have been well if you took the advice I offered WHICH YOU ASKED FOR. I mean if I had offered it unsolicited, I don't believe it should have to be taken, but if someone specifically calls me and says 'hey, if my toilet is overflowing, what should I do??' and I ask them if they have a plunger and they say 'yeah' and then I say 'well use it to unclog the toilet' and we hang up... and an hour later they call me back and complain again and I say 'well, did you use the plunger and unclog it?' and they say 'well no... because'.... then really, who is to blame for the continued situation?

that's human and even myself also often ask for other's advice but never use that. sometimes people are not come for advice actually but for the wish you can also convinced him that he have got the best choice . if you stand cool and tell the advice based on fact then they may not like that.

I know this feeling, my friend often ask for help, now i already do not think of it, except he express different situation which i can feel. Cause i know he did not mean it most of time. He did not want a advice he just want express himself. After speaking his worrying he would feel better.

Yes, I understand completely. I have friends like that who constantly bugs me, asks for advice, listens but argues endlessly on how their point is better, on why they should not take my advice. It is so annoying, I feel that am wasting precious time. I wanted to ask them why they asked for advice in the first place. I felt pulled down in their misery after several hours of arguing, explaining, you name it. I hate when friends do that and lately I have mastered he act of being indifferent rather than to have my time wasted by toxic friends who just want to screw my mind out.

a few days back I responded to a mylotters request for advice, you wont believe, for each response he/she got she/he had an argument but he/she asked for advice and on top of that he/she already knew what he/she wanted, I just left the discussion and never looked back. I guess they just want to hear what the next person has to say, the best way to deal with this kind of situation is to ignore and keep in mind that its not about you. The person feels so inadequate that she/he wants to be heard. I normally just give my opinion and thats it, i dont entertain any further arguments. If the person is still talking, i just keep saying ok, ok because all he/she wants is to be heard....just give him/her the opportunity but dont respond.

That would definitely piss me off. I have tried having such conversion a couple of times. What I did was face them and tell them straight to the point if they still want the advice or not. Or else, they might go away and stop wasting my time.

I guess that people you are talking about needs an option not a solution. they need something to weigh about. Me too when someone advice me something I sometimes follow their advice, because of the situation I have and the people involved on it. Because there are times the adviced works for them but not on me, because of the different people involved. That is also a reason when a friend ask me to listen to her problem and when you she ask me to give her an advice I first say to them it is depend on them if they will follow my advice or not, sometimes I am hurt sometimes I get used to it. That is the reason also why I am to tired of giving advices, because their decision is still winning, anyways that is there life not mine.

Hi ishme,Don't take it to heart. When people ask for advice it is because they want other ideas and when they appear to be arguing, they are really tossing the ideas around...giving it consideration. When someone asks my advice, I just tell them what I'd do in their situation. I don't expect them to take my advice. it just gives them food for thought so to speak.

hi.. yeah.. sometimes, that is a very irritating thing.. I had a friend who always ask for an advice from me but she don't even try to do my advice.. She just ell me that my advice is good and she thanks me, but after a while, she just let go of my advice and follow her own will.. I wouldn't say it is bad for her to follow her will, however, the fact that she asked me to give her some advice, she should have consider dong it.. this is why at present, I just listen to her problems and I don't give any advice because I knew that my advice will just be wasted..

I don't get frustrated when people don't take my advice. I did my part, and that's how I usually feel about it. Obviously, when it's their lives - we aren't the decision makers nor the ones in control in this situation. It's up to them to do the right thing. I like to think that giving advice (when it's asked for) is as simple as laying out that person's options in a rational manner (as sometimes when we're frazzled we don't always think rationally..) But of course, when anyone ARGUES with the answer that I give them - there I can understand where your frustration comes from. Beggars can't be choosers! If you ask for advice, if you ask for someone to do the FAVOR of listening to you blab about your problems and acting as a confidant (which isn't always easy, I'll tell ya), they better at least PRETEND to like and appreciate the answer you're givin 'em!

I have already experienced this many times and so instead of seeing it in a negative way what I do is I just tell myself for as long as you have given your opinion on the matter then that's it. We are here to help our friends but we should not force people to take your advice because we should not. That's all it is. We need to make sure that we do not cross the line where people should choose the path they want to go on.