Do your parents restrict you to do this and that?.....................

M y paents also care a lot about me and they never allow me stay at night and i also not agreed with this so i never thoght that they restrict me.

Wow. I scrolled down to see that you are TWENTY ONE YEARS OLD?! I am pretty sure that anybody old enough to have and use this site legally is too old to be having this happen to them, and I'm talking about maybe 15, 16, 17, not 21. I was on my own before I was 21, living on my own, my own job, my own car, my own place. Nobody told me what to do except ME. If they did, it was a waste of their breath for all the notice I ever took of it. I live in the US and HERE after you're 18, you're a legal adult. This means you can be and ARE responsible for yourself, what you do, your choices, etc. There is no reason in hell you would HAVE to allow your parents to prevent you from staying at a friend's house. I would just stay if I felt like it. There is no reason they should be making all your decisions. It isn't their life. I have a 20 year old daughter and she lives on her own. I have an 18 year old son who is still dependent on us - but that is because he is still in high school, doesn't have a job, and doesn't seem to have any motivation to become physically and financially independent yet. I have a five year old daughter who I am hoping will be plenty interested in becoming independent when it's time. Parents who never allow their kids to become independent by making their own choices over time really do a huge disservice. It causes you to not gain confidence in your own choices and also you gain no life experience in making the right decisions FOR yourself based on what is important to YOU. It ends up always being about your parents, which doesn't help YOU at all. I would be very disappointed in my kids if they made choices based on only what *I* wanted. I want them to live their lives - and as long as they are happy and successful within their own rights, it's not up to me what they choose to do. Why couldn't you just text or call your parents, or vice versa? If you have a cell phone (which someone in 12th standard would probably have - what is that.... end of high school or beginning of university?) they could easily get ahold of you or check in without going nuts and calling the police. There were times in the past when I was upset that I had not heard about changes of plans from MY kids but I never thought of calling the POLICE after an HOUR. My parents were somewhat overprotective (in my opinion) but as a parent myself, I try very hard to balance and NOT be that way. I would never 'not allow' my kids to stay at friends' houses and as long as they check in regularly and stay in touch and ASK about things, I have little issue with their activities. Letting go is part of a parent's job in raising kids. Eventually kids grow up. It's a fact. You can't stop it, you can't prolong it, and the only way to deal with it is to LET GO. Are you planning to do anything about this soon, like assert your own independence? Will you move out? Make sure you are financially independent so they can't hold anything over your head? I'd do it now.... while you are still 21. If you let them continue to get away with this, you'll be in your 30s and STILL dealing with it. While you still have the opportunity to grow up, it doesn't seem they ever will, unless you force your hand and make them let go of you. It's the rest of your life at stake. Choose wisely.

Are you a Bengali by the way? I am sorry to ask you this, because I have an experience with too many Bengalis of what you've said. All my neighbours and friends in Jamshedpur were Bengalis and their parents were just too much. They would keep an eye on their children, especially sons all the time. Their mothers would just follow them up so often, to their friend's homes. They won't allow them an inch of freedom. Even they used to tell me, how irritated they were. I think parents are too paranoid about these things. My parents allowed me to go to my friend's places all the time, and I used to spend all day playing at their homes. And they used to allow me stay over the weekends with them. So I never had any trouble. But I can understand what you have gone through. Many of my friends have been through this. We used to pity them. And moreover, once they were 14, they were never allowed to play at all. Never allowed to go and participate in sports or any other activities. They weren't even allowed to watch movies, or television. They just had to sit and study, study, and study. Everybody thought, these guys are going to be toppers and they won't miss IIT. But they turned out to be totally the opposite. They didn't even come in the top ten in their class and they couldn't clear one single Engineering exam and both the brothers had to sit at home for a year only to prepare again, and finally, all they could manage was join some diploma in engineering. It was so pathetic. How could parents be so dumb, it makes me think sometimes. But their youngest brother, he was allowed to do whatever he wanted, because he was the pampered one. And, the pampered one, becomes a good table tennis player who reaches the semi-finals of the nationals, and also, gets into IIT. Can you imagine that? Well, there are many cases my friend. Another neighbour of mine, she was the only daughter, and her parents would be out all the time, and they would lock her from the outside,ooohhh somebody might abduct her.. ha ha.. And she had to sit and only study.. So stupid... She would never come out and talk to us, or mingle with us or my sisters and her friends. You are not alone in this. There are many parents who are so bound to their prejudices and just spoil their children's future, thinking they are doing the best, in fact, they are doing the worst. I was later taken care of by uncle. They never allowed me to go out anywhere, and I was literally brought up like a girl, by some conservative Indian family who wouldn't allow their daughters to move out, just because she may get spoiled and enter into adultery. I know this India needs to change a lot and it's changing slowly, but still there is a huge population, who are very prejudiced and it angers me a lot.

I can understand your situation. In my home, its not like that, my parents care for me but will not be worried about me, as they know I can handle the situation if something goes wrong. In my husband home, they are so much restricted. They are not worried but its rule like everyone should come before 9 PM and everything will be a routine. I can say, after your marriage the situation might change..:))) They think their responsibilities are over.

My parents were never strict with me because I was always strict enough with myself. I never got into trouble or did things I wasnt suppose to, so I was never really given alot of limitations because I never had to be worried about. But if your parents are strict, its only because they want to protect you and want the best for you. Down the road, when you are grown, you are going to wish you still had someone to look out for you.

my parents still care more compared to your parents my friend they wont allow me alone to even a shop :).all parents care a lot about their children. even you are at the age of twenty you are kid to your parents. so they will worry if you go out and if you are bit late to home.have a nice day friend :)

Mine were not this way at all. When I was old enough to go places alone I was and that was about 15. Then at 17 I could stay out until I wanted to come back. At my mothers house things were a bit different only because she wanted me to watch my siblings and not keep after me as much.

I'm 26 now and havent lived with my parents since I was 17. I couldnt stand living with them any longer. All they cared about was my sister it was like I didnt exist and at the same time was just a burden. My parents were huge control freaks. I wasent allowed to have friends spend the night. My mother would have a fit that we didnt date the guys she wanted us to even though even if we were intersted in those guys they werent interested in us and she didnt get that. My parents embarrassed me really bad how controlling they were so I know what your saying.

I am 26 years old no longer considered a minor that is "under the age of 18" that said my mother no longer tells me what I can and cannot do with my life I am sure that she will worry from time to time but this is normal of all parents... however and I stress this as being the most obvious... It is not normal for any parent even for an adult 18 and over to be unnescessarily clingy and over protective... there needs to be a time for them to realize that the child they once knew from birth has grown up both physically but also everything they've learned and have yet to learn... the longer they keep you under their control the less of a chance you have to learn from your mistakes... even if that means dating a guy who could potentially be shady...

Yap my parents do that but I'm a good girl I follow what my parents say because in the bible the law of the children is to obey them if we do that the GOD happy as well as our parents to.

Yes. I know it's typical of parents to do that but sometimes i feel that they lack trust in me. i am of legal age and they still treat me as a child. sometimes, i would already decide on my own not to do something because I am tired of exerting effort to ask for their permission even if i already know they wont allow me. it sucks. what' worse is that this kind of setup made me grow up to be very introvert and anti-social.

My parents weren't strict THEY DEMANDED RESPECTFUL FIRST! In that, my restrictions, rules and responsibilities were ALL rolled into that one. By 18 y/o though, I moved out of my mom's house and I've been on my own ever since. Mom & Dad encouraged independence always.

Mines pretty much like yours. They're kinda protective. It's like I'm somewhat a kind of treasure or something. But my parents won't call 911 if I gone missing. They would just try to ring my phone, or I'll ring them if I'm gonna come home late.

My mom doesn't want me to have a boyfriend until I finish college and get a stable job. Sometimes I get really tempted with all these cute guys, but I hold back knowing that it would be futile. I cannot blame them for that. Our family is poor that's why their expectations of me are high, and they don't want me to frustrate them. I am not in a hurry for a relationship after all, so its fine.

You're parents must be really protective to do this if you're still 21. Once you're 18 you should be able to do whatever you want. My parents finally let go once I hit 18 and now I come and go as I please. I still tell them where I am because yes they still worry but I can go stay wherever I want to and don't have to be home at a decent time. But when I was under 18 then yea I had a curfew. My parents sometimes still like to know who i'm with though because their still protective about that. But other than that I pretty much do my own thing. Sorry you're parents are like that..Why not try living on your own?