Does your worth depend on who likes you ?

Hi sanjana, one thing I learnt for my 50 years, you cannot make everybody happy. That would be a perfect woman, who I believe is as much of fiction as superman and spiderman. :) You want to react, react, but forgive yourself remembering why such things happened. Preferably have your logics lined up - wait up to that time before reacting. Once you do, you will make more sense and people will back off. See to it that you present your logics systematically when outsiders are around. For example, you cook, salt is not enough. When somebody comes to your place, make it a point to ask them - is the salt enough, ask each one of them, when they say no everything is just right, then you just innocently say, no actually I never seem to be doing it right, so I feel too conscious about it. My in laws are great. They allow me to add afterwards. But since you all are guests, you must be hesitating, so I asked. You would have sent the message loud and clear to in-laws, in a way they cant really react. This is just an example. At your age, even I reacted. Such things come when mind is calmer. So you do need to find some time for yourself. And dont take everything to heart. That disturbs your calmness. Somebody out here told me, they want to hurt you, and if you hurt, they achieved their objective, its their way of enjoying. Dont give them that satisfaction. If you cant quip back, spend some time going to some witty discussions out here, learn the art. Mylot is for that as well I suppose. Flimsy eh - next time they give you something - repeat the same words! And then criticise an outsider (even fictitious one will do) for being so utterly careless about losing the ear rings - criticise for such a long time that next time the sis dare not come up with that sort of excuse. Nice quote for you, dont get mad, get even.

Hi sanjana hope u must be doing well now. Well sure ur worth does not depend as who like u, it depend on ur internal satisfaction. I will not say that the examples u have quoted are good or that they dont disapoint, but what if u think in a way that every body has its own way or perception and then expressing their views. So what they perceive and what they say must not distrub ur inner self. You keep on doing what you feel is right One should not become bad while dealing with Bad Take care

It used to be but not any more, my Attitude now is that People either like me for me or they can leave it I am who I am, I used to pretend to be someone else for other People but not any more I am me

Some people will only like you because of what you give them. I think this is true no matter who you are. I also got to believe that we have to accept it and figure out a way for other people's pettiness not to interfere with our happiness. I try very hard not to let other people determine my self worth, but trying and doing are two different things. It is a challenge, but what doesn't kill us...makes us stronger!

It doesn't matter to me if the entire world hates me as long as I do get RESULTS!!! As far as the people around you giving you a hard time, stop giving them physical things. The spiritual things touch the soul and stay with people. The very best things in life are free. Teach them this. They will love you for it. It may not be an easy road but you will get RESULTS!!

Hi, it is a very bad situation, I can not imagine how you can stay in such situation. I think you must find solution, otherwise it will just make your life unhappy. Hope that you can solve your problem very soon. Have a good day. Best wishes,

No, your worth doesn't depend on who likes you (though, taken overall, if you are not liked by many people, it may be an indication that you need to change something). It sounds as though your in-laws are people whom you should be wary of and not give more to than they deserve (except that the next time that you cook for them, I would really overdo the salt so that even they cannot eat it!) If somebody has lost what you gave them, that is their problem! They couldn't have appreciated it so much in the first place and if they think that a man's gold ring has to be substantial, then their only concern is in its commercial value, not in its aesthetic or symbolic value. As long as your husband is not influenced by his family's shoddy attitude, all is well.

Hi Sanjana, I think you are right, if somebody dislike us then they won’t like the things we provide and they my try to find out faults on our actions. It is a normal thing. I am sorry to know about your situation. But you can do nothing more, as you are doing your best now. It is difficult to convey your feelings to them. Please be patient dear, otherwise what I should say. Once they will realize your love. Best of luck.

yep,not everything go along with what you think,and anybody or anything may let you upset,unhappy or something else.but you lose your temper or confidence only as to these mess.you should find some solution to sovle your situation,and catch happy again.whats more,i belive if you do thing in your heart and treat people sincerely,the most thing will be ok.

I have come across a similar comments from married people, which would not be completely similar, but atleast a few of them look same. The only thing am not able to understand is, why do all of them hate you? If one person scolds at you there is a possibility that particular person is not of your type. If everybody scolds you then, I feel something is either wrong on their part or yours. Why not try to adjust? The commonly used word for advise in home-problems is "adjustment". As that is the only solution to all the problems.

Just keep doing good and sooner or later they will realize how good you are. It is better to pro-long your patience for your family unity's sake. However, do not let them abuse you. It is normal to say No and answer back sometimes.

Don't feel as if you are not a worthy person. Of course you are!.. Just always remember, as long as you don't do any harm to your inlaws, you are just doing good!.. Stay sweet and thoughtful...

Hello sanjana. I think your question is definitly good. Please love yourself from your deep heart and real action. Please appreciate yourself from your deep heart and real action. Don't forget that when you are sacrificing for your families. I'll be very happy if I have such a relative like you.

People are really like that. That is the reason I've learned to just stick with the people who love and like me. I no longer put effort in doing something for someone to make that person likes me. I have learned that if the person likes or loves you you will not have to do anything for him/ her. She/ He will appreciate you for who and what you are. It is not true that we don't like someone because that person is bad. Why? It is because when we like or love someone no matter how bad they are we learn to tolerate their behavior and accept them for who and what they are hoping that someday that person will change for the better. Instead of me wasting my time and effort pleasing people whom I knew will never like me no matter what I do I just spend this time with the people who love and care for me.

it is really a terrible thing to judge a gift that someone presents you. it is really cheap of those people to see the worth of the gift instead of the love behind it. i dont do much to please people, if they like me for what i am then its fine, if they dont like the fact that i dont present them with gifts on a regular basis, i dont care. and trust me sich things happen when we pamper people. and it is a great thing that you are tolerating this for your husband. but really, you dont need to give them gifts. dont do much to please people ;)