I have just discovered that my husband has a jealous side to him,

It's true we complicate our relationships with many expectations but trust is one of the mainstays of marriage. I think from this discussion and others I've read from you that your husband and you need to get many issues out in the open, do not let these he said, she said, go into the shadows and fester. If you both cannot be totally open, all the bad with the good, then others will forever be able to influence your relationship. Blessings

I think mistrust Can destroy the love you once had is more apt. Him being jealous is part insecurity and part guilt for the affair, I bet he is thinking that it was easy for him to hide that you are doing the same thing. Wrong! being a little jealous serves him right. I think it is flattering he thinks a 20year would want you. But when he tries to spy on you All the time or Tries to keep you a prisoner, then it is time to get out. I hope you can work things out. Take Care

Thats rediculous what is put on facebook is nothing to do with what any one has or hasnt done. Someone mad at you can put all things on facebook they want too. Now they have cause trouble and you 2 will have to workit out and that depends on how well you DO love one another. My hubby was some jealous but it was weird he would tell me I was staring at some one when I wasnt. Happened a couple of time I recall the one as I had been studing about something else that some one was saying att he time and guess I was looking ahead where the feller was in the way but I hadnt even noticed him. Just weird was all I can say. Never even thought of going with any one after I found hubby he was my soulmate. When I egnored him on it he dropped it!

Hi JJ, That is such a true saying 'where there is no trust, there is no love', I have found that out to be true in two relationships and one person I was married to. If you are jealous of someone like your husband is of you, there is no trust and if you don;t trust someone then there is jealousy so it is a no win situation. If you cannot trust someone then you do not love them at all, you are a possession. It wounds as if you both really have to talk calmly and logically about this or think of someway else to resolve the situation. But there is no way personally I would take what is being dished out to you, hence now I am single and happy...hope you can sort things out hun it sounds awful to have to go through all of this and I expect you feel so alone in different ways too..well am here if you need to talk, hugs LoLo

Hi, jugsjugs. You are very right about that. If your husband does not have any trust, there will surely be a lack of love in your relationship/marriage. He needs to take a hard look and evaluate what is the truth here. You really love him and you are not an cheater. You are an devoted wife and mother to your family. Most men are jealous, but your husband's behavior is uncalled for. That is how and why many marriages end up destroyed because of something like this. You need to sit down with and have an heart to heart talk about his jealousy issues. He needs to be man enough to admit that he is jealous when it comes to other men that are around you. My husband has an jealousy side to him too. He does not show it but I know that is there. When I try to tell him that another guy is trying to talk to me(like they want to get with me), my husband will get mad and tell me that he does not want to hear about another man. He is like, "why are you telling me this." It is like he can't stand to hear about another man having the hots for me. And I feel that he has an somewhat jealous streak if he responds like this to me. Your husband needs to be more secure with you than less insecure. I hope that you can get him to open up to you so that this attitude of his can be diminished from your relationship. Take care.

A tip from me would be, pick out on the wrong things he does. Then tell him, that look at all these wrong things you've been doing however i've been keeping away from them and not poking my nose around. Then say, look love i want to keep this relationship going so let us sit down and have a talk about it.

Well Jug I would confront him about it and find out what is going on with him, why he does not trust you of all a sudden Point his faults out to him

I'm kind of confused by your very first statement. You say: 'I do not mind that there is that side to my husband, but, I draw the line at him not trusting me.' The very fact that he is jealous is proof that he doesn't trust you. That's what jealousy is. A distrust of someone. When a man gets jealous like that toward me I don't put up with that at all. If you can't trust me then you have a problem and I tell him to take a hike to hell. Most times when people show jealousy it's usually unfounded and simply comes from their own sense of insecurities. You shouldn't put up with it either. That is not healthy and in the end you may be paying for it. It's usually the first sign of abuse from a man toward his wife, girlfriend, etc. All I can say is be very careful and watch for signs of it getting out of hand. If it does GET OUT!! Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija

Yes trust is the basis of relationship between a husband and a wife. What you narrated in mylot that is enough. You should not let it go further.In our culture step sister is like own sister.We can't think step sister and step brother is in the same bed.

i think facebook causes so much trouble in friendships and relationships,i don't think it's because he does'nt love you,maybe he's at a vunerable time in his life,and is feeling a bit insecure,my boyfriend does'nt like me talking to men he does'nt know,even if i've known them for years before i got with my partner,,or the flip side is,he's cheating and feeling guilty,so is covering his tracks by blaming you for something

Sweatie, you know, we can sit here and discusS this untill doomsday, but as we need to get on with our lives, i aM going to Be as straight and honest as i always am. First of all ,that stepsister is really a piece of work. They have the tendency to create problems in marriages. I still do not know why. But in any way, you sound feisty enough, take both of them on. Your husband cannot stand behind a door and throw around accusations. You have to sort this out, and as in now. The longer you wait, the worse it will become. And facebook. A lot of people seem to just love to get to personal on that site. You have to be more carefull and tell your friends as well. A lot of people, just love to read between the lines, even if there is nothing there to read. Good Luck to you and please, do not take this s££t

Very interesting. I think you are so pretty thus your husband still jealous with you on your ages. Just relax and follow what your husband want. As long as can make both of you happy. And don't forget to pray to God cause He will can help you always.

well let me give my expert advice on this. To begin with there are two sides to every story. your right about if there is no trust there is no love. he may act that way for several reasons. he might have done something in the past and that makes him feel insecure, so the only thing he can do is blame you. But if there really is love then you would also be there with him on the hardest times. thats one of the vowels or rules when you get married. although it seems like he is the one that is being different, you have to be the one to remind him who you are and that he shouldnt accuse you of such things. just remember he might act different and blame you because he is insecure and thinks you might do whatever he did in the past. you gotta understand to be there for him and make him get over it just like you said you have worked everything out. that is all i have today. good luck.

I agree 100%. I told my wife when we first began to date that I will trust her to the full extent until she proves to me that I cannot. You have to have that sort of thought or your love cannot grow.

wow... somethings people start acting like this because they are doing something wrong. so i would be really careful with him starting acting like this out of the blue. your spouse being jealous or not trusting you is never ever a good thing. I would not be happy about this and i would find out what is really going on behind him acting like this now.

I think it is normal to have that jealousy feelings if the other party discover something suspicious in what he read. He is only human to be jealous of you and you should appreciate the fact that when there is jealousy there is love. If he doesn't show any kind of emotion then there must be something not right with him. I like my man to show a little bit of jealousy so I feel wanted. Making up after a jealousy misunderstanding is refreshing.

After 13 years you would think that your husband would have all of the trust in the world for you. I can't believe that is missing from your relationship. I've only been married to my husband for going onto six years now, but I know that I trust him with all of my heart and I believe that he trusts me just the same way. The only time that I even so much as see jealousy in our relationship is in the fact that I like to go out with my girlfriends and he is jealous that I get to go out with my friends on a weekly basis.

i think all people had some jealous side in them. they may not know, or they just suppress for others not to think they are like that. most men act they are tough and strong inside, but no, we are all equal, no matter what men & women does have almost same emotions. all of us could those, we may not now though. so we must consider each others feelings. we need to now the effects of what we are doing beore we do it to refrain being misunderstood.

Jealusy is an inevitable feeling. We get hurt because we love. We trust then we let go. A relationship cycle; a reality. For me, adjustment to marraige may take years. We really cannot tell if our hubbies had totally shared the stories of thier past relationships that might disturb the present. It is something that most guys don't want to discuss. The good part of your situation is you are talking out your doubts, nevermind the shouts and temper, they are still ways of communication. It means your are working it out.

Jealusy at times is not something we could avoid but of course it is the Love that mellowed it down. We love and we got hurt. We trust then we let it go. Though we got bounderies but that is the cycle; the reality. Think of the brighter side at least you are discussing it with him much more better than leving it in the closet.