Thou shalt have ONLY ONE FRIEND?!

exactly. there was no right answer with these people..it got infuriating after awhile.

People are really stupid. I have been noticing over and over lately just HOW stupid... if someone wants me to 'pick' then I will 'pick' the one who isn't acting like their brain exploded everywhere without cause!

Man, this is just going from bad to worse. This chick is actually accusing MY friend of flipping out and overreacting, and she still thinks somehow that I had called her and cussed her out. I can't remember having cussed out anybody over the phone in the last 10 YEARS, and since this incident was oh... two DAYS ago, I know for SURE that my short term memory is good and correct! I think the biggest problem is this girl is dense. I'm talking ROCK SOLID COULDN'T SMASH ANYTHING THRU HER HEAD WITH A STEEL BASEBALL BAT DENSE. She had the nerve to say today or yesterday to my friend in a text 'well I was just ASKING if your husband was home. If you had TOLD me then I would have left you alone'. The problem is, my friend told her OVER AND OVER AND OVER about 50 times in as many text messages that INDEED HER HUSBAND WAS GOING TO BE HOME. In fact, the amount of texts this girl sent her got things to the point where it actually ruined the afternoon with her husband and then he had to LEAVE to go to work. If it had been me, I'd have let my husband call her himself and cuss her out. I don't let ANYBODY interfere with hanging out with my family if that's what I prefer to do, are you kidding? So anyway, since my friend didn't answer her immediately, she sent multiple mutiple messages - which of course irritated my friend and in turn irritated her husband. Also, we all know that based on the title of this discussion if one isn't hanging out with their husband, they are only allowed one friend, so again she was mad that my friend chose ME and not HER. Now she thinks that all we have done for the past year is call each other and complain about her 24/7 - which has not at all been true until the DAY BEFORE TODAY lol. Blah. Ok now that I got all that out, I am still flipping shaking my head at events of the past week and how people and their double standards really cause all that's wrong in the world today.

By the way - my intention when I make a friend is to make a friend for life. Now some people do not cooperate with this and loyalty is one of those big things - I extend mine, I have to hold my breath sometimes and see if I receive it back from some people. However, no worries, if any weird person crops up and tries to tamper with anything, you know I'll tell em right where to go, and hope the door doesn't shut on their asss Unlike the folks who keep smacking at me trying to make me prove myself over and over and OVER, that's over and done, you already proved yourself faithful and kind, and worthy to call a friend.

I've never been able to understand that because I don't see anything that way. Occasionally I have been sorry I introduced someone to another friend - because the someone ended up saying something rotten to the friend and embarrassed me, but that's about the extent of it. People get busy with life. I think it's odd when someone mistakes that for 'purposely ignoring them' and then gets so worked up and bent out of shape that when you hear from them, they are practically ripping your head off. Then again, it sounds like maybe a mental condition if someone seriously does what you described. That sounds exactly like our psycho-ex-friend, my friend and I were actually together when she was sending all the texts whining about her not going over to pack up her apartment and such, and then she accused her of 'calling me and complaining' and we had actually met up so our kids could play. It was just ironic.

Where did you move to? I lived here for almost a year before I made any friends - the first one I made was the mother of a boy that went to my kids' school that they were friends with. I didn't have a big desire to explore much or make friends, I had my husband and an instant family - his kids and ours on the way. Outside of the one friend, I didn't make any others until I met the mom of a friend of my older daughter - and then it was just the two until I started mommy & me classes at the community center when my daughter was 17 months old. I branched out after she was two and met a whole group of moms - mostly because I wanted her to have socialization and a chance to start making her own friends. Is it just you and your husband? What about mutual friends, does he have friends that have spouses you could meet? Some suggestions for things that often work in new places - community centers and community/city activities, gyms, churches, classes (college or just for fun), volunteer work, coworkers, etc.

Part of the problem with this girl is she seems to have no morals when it comes to her asking people for things but at the same time she wouldn't be willing to do it for you in return - OR... and here the kicker - YOU would NEVER ask HER to help you but she asks you over and over and over again and doesn't get the hint when you try putting her off nicely! For example, I offer to take care of most of my friends' kids, sometimes if they go to work or have an appt or want to go out on a date or something. Most of the time we trade off, I take care of their kids, if I need childcare another time, they would take care of my daughter. This particular girl - I would NEVER offer to watch her child. I just wouldn't. I also would not want her watching my daughter at her house and I wouldn't want her at my house without me there.... SO. Given the situation where I would never ask for help from her, she doesn't really have the right to expect she could ask for help from me. There's no natural friendship give and take with us like there are with me and other friends. I tell you the honest to God truth though - this girl THINKS there is. No matter how many times I try to tell her 'no dice', she has her own reality she lives in. She does this to everybody. I think it really could be a mental disorder.

Ugh ! Well I feel less alone after seeing your story - which is also horrible! Why are there so many people out there who really believe someone can't be friends with more than one person? It is creepy. I think anybody needs several friends - because one person cannot be everything to you, available at all times, or even be into all the same things. It reminds me a little bit of being little girls, I'm talking like 2nd grade or something, where two friends are pulling on my arms saying 'she's MY friend' and 'NO, she's MY friend' and running home and crying all over my mom and saying 'I think my friends broke! Help!' I don't understand the people who stalk each other and shadow people all over myspace, there's a little counter thingy that tells you how many times someone has viewed your profile, even if they never post anything. At least you still have one good friendship out of the whole deal, not the way the psycho girl wanted but usually how it rolls!

Oh I don't know Opal . I just had a big FB blow up with people in my family too, which happened right before THIS incident. I think the problem has to do with expectations that don't match - I posted another discussion about that. The jealousy comes from the whole idea that it's all about THAT PERSON - the one who is sooooo ultimately needy that they end up driving others away. I know that's what is going on with this girl, she is needy and smothering. I had even told my friend that various times while still trying to be nice, letting her know that the best way to handle it would be to NOT be available, NOT help her, and to kind of cool off and NOT be friendly. She is an ALL or NOTHING type of person, if you are nice to her once, she thinks you're like her best buddy in the world forever and ever and will be willing to pack her apartment, watch her daughter, let her come over and invite herself to dinner, stay overnight, pick her up, do her homework... yeah now i'm getting ridiculous but if you say ONE nice thing to her she feels that means you are closer than brothers and she can expect all sorts of sh*t from you. WRONG. I don't want people to have those kinds of expectations from me without a long and illustrious relationship during which we give and take, EACH doing things for each other because we each WANT to, not because either person felt obligated or EXPECTED it. OMG, I didn't tell you the funniest part - she actually asked my friend if she thought *I* was jealous of another friend of ours if they spent time together without me. WTF.. I don't care. I have never cared who spent time with who, and the idea that I would be jealous was so funny.... that it occured to HER of course made sense because everything is about her and she was projecting HER feelings onto me in saying that. I am not looking forward to having to see this girl - I will see her probably when I go to the gym. If she says nothing, then I'll say nothing, if she says anything rude, well - she asked for it. I am not the type of person to sit idly by and watch a good friend get harrassed and battered and USED by a freaking psycho. She's lucky I held my tongue THIS long. I have had urges now and then to go off on her in the past and see, I am a nice civil person, I didn't.