You are making my child an outcast!

Could it be possible that they were logged in under their parents? I have a friend that allows her 8 year old to play games under her log in. I do not want to seem to be attacking your post, but I dont understand why parents who are able to give their children some better things should feel bad because you won't or can't. This is a great teachable moment for your kids. Life is not fair. Just because Billy has a certain thing, doesn't mean you should have it. You don't always get everything you want. So I respectfully disagree with you. By the way, I am a single mother and my daughter goes with out a LOT.

Hello live, Something in your discussion made me remember a childhood memory and 3 things my mom told me that day. I lived in a small town we only had a few neighbors close by with kids. One of the kids in our small neighborhood was an only child, my family had 4 kids in it, this little girl got dessert everynight after dinner so long as she ate her dinner. Imagine my surprise, dessert everynight, wow, I told my mom and asked how come we don't have dessert everynight and the 3 things my mom told me were: 1) not all families can afford it (we were one) 2) that it wasn't healthy to have fattening desserts everyday and 3) all familys are different. While I don't agree that children should be on an adult website, I don't think that children having what there parents can afford for them is wrong. All family's are different. My 2 eldest children received cell phones at 12 and 14 and no they were nothing fancy, however I was able to reach them when needed wherever they were. They did have hand held gaming systems, but we bought used games for them. I don't consider myself to be an irresponsible parent by any means and no I don't buy things just to keep up with the "Jone's", I do buy my children things I feel at the appropriate age that I determine and that I can afford. So this means that my children don't have the latest technology, they don't get the latest and greatest games out. They do have things and yes they have more than I did at there age, however that is in part do to the times we live in. The fact I can afford more than my parents could doesn't make me better or worse. I too hear how so and so had this or that, and I tell my children the same thing that my mom told me all family's are different. Some family's can afford things and some can't. And that some things are just bad for us. I think that sometimes we just don't explain things well enough to our children. The simple no doesn't always work, give an explanation. My son is 15 now and he will ask for something followed by if you can't afford it I understand. I think that I have taught him well. My 19 year old is out of the house but she was the same way. My 6 yr old is another story, however, she is slowly learning. So I have to disagree to a point. Just my 2 cents worth.

Hi livewyre, I think you have a point there, and I agree on some points. As a parent, I am not really that "strict" when it comes to giving my kids what they want, I bought them gadgets that are admittedly a little expensive for their age (my kids are 7 and 10yrs old, both boys). But the deal is, before buying them, they have to earn them. My kids look forward to every quarter exam in school coz they know if they did well, they can ask me to buy something they like - like toys. My husband had a good reason for buying each of them PSP, because both landed on the top 5 students in their respective classes. And I do have clear rules in terms of playtime - they can only play PSP and PS2(which they also have) when there's no school (Sat, Sun, holidays). About the Facebook thing, my older son told me about his classmates who have Facebook accounts, but he himself said he knows it's only for 'old' people, so he didn't ask me to open an account for him. But I'm quite sure if he does ask me, I'd allow him to have one coz I know he's responsible enough to handle it. I guess if you install the discipline and clear rules early on, kids should be allowed to have fun, will be able to deal with peer pressures, and be responsible.

My children do have some of the things you speak about on this post but in our case they have to buy them for themselves. They do chores and I do give an allowance for doing them. They also get money for holidays and what not from family who live far from us (almost our whole family). This they are expected to use for Wii games, didj things and anything else that is not a present for a birthday or something.

Well.... in regards to my stepsons [as I dont have any kids myself]. They DO get all that "new", "hightech crap" that they will only play with for so long. They have gotten everything they wanted [minus the cellphone]. Their dad & I disagree with it & truly believe it will cause problems when they are older. Their mom gives them what they want. So, when its giftgiving time. We are scraping up to buy the hottest new things out because that's what they DONT have. It's ridiculous. I was raised poor & we said that when we have children together....our kids [together] aren't getting that crap. I will put my foot down. My kids will get stuff from goodwill, yardsales, etc. They don't "NEED" the hottest new toys out when they are just going to break them or lose interest in them. Why not give an unloved toy some attention rather than letting it sit in a landfill. Not only that, but I'm a HUGE HUGE HUGE crafter & supporter of handmade items. My kids are going to love that handmade toys and gifts. They will understand the love and hardword that went into them. BUT THENNNNNN, I come to the dilema & trust me....I DO think about this.... What if our kids together get the handmedowns & then their 1/2 brothers get the expensive crap....Am I going to see disappointed faces & here "don't you guys like us? do you love them more? etc etc??" What do you do in a situation like that? I dont want to raise my kids where they are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.... what do u guys think?!

Hi livwyre, I've been there done that and I'll tell you what my answer was to my kids when they asked why they couldn't have what their friend was getting- I told them it was because - I want what is best for them, and that I care enough to know what not to let you guys do and just because "so and so's" parent's aren't as interested or careful is not my fault. It worked and my kids felt better about NOT having the stuff that they knew they were really too young to have anyway.. KIm

I understand your anger, but why be mad with the ones who do it? At least you know you are doing right by your child(ren) by not buying them everything under the sun. You are teaching your child that money isn't everything and you don't need all kinds of useless stuff to survive. Remember that alot of people try to make their lives to look better than what it really is. As for the facebook, I definitely would tell your child that it is too dangerous for them to be on facebook and that until you feel they are ready to have an acct as such, then they are not allowed. I agree that kids these days have too many freedoms and alot of parents (not all) don't want to deal with the whining and fighting with their kids. I know it is frustrating, but you have to keep faith that you are teaching your kids and they take what you teach them along the road with them. Show them that years from now, what the other kids have will no longer be wanted and that you can use that money for things they need instead of wants.

This is completely true,my teenagers have trac phones and always want to change them to keep up with friend's phone but I'm not buying new ones if they work fine.Children at 7 years old do not need to be on facebook,maybe they were just playing a game on a siblings account. Yea there are too many games and they keep pushing all this new gaming systems, new cell phones that are an outrageous prices.My daughter goes to school where a senior drives a hummer her parents got her after she wrecked her car,not her fault but still a Hummer!,and spent thousands on a prom dress last year,must be nice. I think the parent's are just show offs.

I am a disciplinarian when it comes to parenting. I set limits to my children wants. Not everything they asked for are granted unless they are very necessary. They never have the privilege of having cell phones when they were still in school not until they started working. Having a facebook account or any social site accounts was a remote idea for them. Now that they are in their adulthood, they are very thankful for having a strict mom that shaped them up in their behavioral conducts in daily life. This is the scenario whereby we should not allow our children to control us as once they see that they can manipulate the adults it will be hard for parents to discipline them. The nagging and crying will only raise our blood pressure. We should never bow to their demands.

i agree with you, but. you need to teach your child just because the other parents are buying and giving thier friends whatever they want dont mean nothing at all. i used to tell my kids, well i am not your friends parnets. you get what you need and if you want what they have then you will do chores around the house to earn money or call your grandparnets up and do work for them to be able to buy that to me by doing this my kids learn a leason of ok i am not handed things i need to work for things i want.

I know enjoyable facebook games are necessary but I find it addictive and has the potential to make the player lazy whether temporary or permanent. Games are fun but they have their advantages and drawbacks. I think a child can play how much he wanted as long as he or she does all of his assignments first. At that young age they deserve to play since during adulthood no more of it since they have to work. I also sense that a girl will always get what games she wants than a boy is thats why the girls are happier than boys these days. Yet boys do not have trouble not having games at all. But for me I would always think about the needs of the kids instead of their wants.

I feel it is important to let you're child experience new things in life. Lots of things happen on facebook, so from a personal point of view if and when i decide to have kids i would use a sensible treatement. I would let them go on facebook however only when i can do my job and keep a eye on them as well. This would be becuase i don't want them to get in contact with people who will have a bad influence on them in the future.