when you're gone

family, friends and my mothers cooking. I already miss my mothers cooking and have since I left home twenty years ago but those are the three.

I've come close to dying, and I've lived in very isolated circumstances at times. What I missed then were my family and friends first, then a means to communicate with them like a phone and internet service, then familiar food like a plate of nachos or Chinese food now and then. As to what happens when we die, I honestly don't know, but I think we may end up experiencing what we expect, whether Heaven, Hell, Nirvana or the Summerland. I'll try to let you know from the other side when I go.

I think when I am gone, coming to terms that I am seeing my loved ones moving on with life without me anymore is kinda difficult. I will not miss any material thing for I'll probably miss the feel of being solid- it's the flesh on my body, the feeling of being noticed by them. Secondly, I will miss my voice- of how I can audibly call my loved ones names, share bubbly laughs with them, sing, express and communicate. Lastly, I will miss the air that I breath.

I'd actually miss a body that responds to my thoughts because I always imagine myself (my consciousness) floating around there somewhere when I'm gone. I'd miss my pillow that I've had since...well I can't remember. And most of all I'd miss the ever consistent drive to be a part of something, be it a family, a community... anything.

I will miss my family,including my father,mather and sister,and someone I may not know.In addition,I will leave the message to my best friend in the college.