Is it right to return the gifts to your boyfriend/girlfriend after break-up?
@cecillecarmela (3818)
Philippines
January 30, 2010 9:48pm CST
Hello friends ;) me again haha. ?
I don't know if it's just me.. probably it is haha. But even with suitors, I usually have this tendency to return the gifts and letters after separation because I see them as "debts". I have this thinking that probably they'll use it to get something from me.. haha.. that's why I return them all..
Am I being rude with that?? What do you think??.. is it right to return the gifts to your boyfriend / girlfriend / admirer after break-up??
You can freely share your experience and I'll be happy to respond ;) Take care and God bless you all :D ?
2 people like this
29 responses
@kquiming (2997)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
I once asked the same question to a friend and asked for some advice. I was told that it's unethical or rude to return things. My friend suggested to either throw them out or just give them away to friends if I can't bear having them around (as it reminds me of bad memories hehe).
1 person likes this
@cecillecarmela (3818)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
Really?? Throwing them is more advisable??? =( Mind if you justify your answer?? Thanks kquiming and God bless you =)
@cloud31 (5809)
•
31 Jan 10
I don't think its right to return gifts from anybody after you received them, this is not considering as debts, it has been given to you for some reason.And you have to treasure them with care, though your'e separated with him you should not that, you may give an impression of being rude that way, anyway be thankful to all the things you received from them and consider it as gift of love.And don't ask back what you have given them in return.hahaha,its so disgraceful ..just kidding carmella have a blessed day, God bless!
@cecillecarmela (3818)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
You don't have to be sorryyyy I respect everyone's opinions here.. I do get all your points. Actually I regret starting this discussion. It was common sense that it's rude anyway... hahah you're right I should not consider them as debts :)
@missybear (11391)
• United States
31 Jan 10
I think it's ok, most people keep the things they gotten through out a relation ship
out of spite. Giving it back means you're really done and it's over
1 person likes this
@alfroi635 (297)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
I didn't do it to my ex GFs. When I give things or gifts, I gave it heartily on sincerely. I don't even think that I will get it when we broke up.
1 person likes this
@cecillecarmela (3818)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
Hmmmm... maybe depends on the guy. :) thanks for the response and God bless
@nemrac12 (388)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
hi cecillecarmela as my opinion and if i were in your place, im going to throw or give to charitable institutions those gifts that i received from my ex.. not to return back to him. on the other hand there are some guyz who prefer to return the gifts to them.. when my bf broke up with me, oh thats a long time ago, i burned all his letters . and luckily he did not give me any gift....
1 person likes this
@cecillecarmela (3818)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
Yahhh I very much agree!! that's why I don't like receiving gifts either :) I see it as a bribe or a debt.. haha.. call me weird but that's how I see it.
@mlno054321 (212)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
no, don't that. just keep as a remembrance from the person to the past who loved you and also you loved, just a apricciate it, and keep it in your heart.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
31 Jan 10
I think that giving back gifts to a ex-boyfriend or girlfriend after a break up would be a sensible choice. However it is a personal decision. The person could keep the gifts as keep sakes. Alternatively he or she could get rid of them. The gifts could go to the charity shop. The couple that have split up might get back together. My ex-boyfriend gave me some gifts that I have kept. I have got rid of the letters and cards.
1 person likes this
@cecillecarmela (3818)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
Really?? You must be one tough girl ;D Anyway, thanks for your response take care and God bless
@cassandralynn (1084)
• United States
31 Jan 10
I've never returned any gifts my ex's have given' me , I would rather trash them then give them back...LOL.. But if it's jewelry that has value I usually keep it, give it away or sell it. A gift is a gift and even after a break up it's still considered a gift. So I treat it like any other gift, If I like it I'll keep it, if it has too many memories associated with it then I will sell it or give it away. But I do understand why you would want to give the gifts back to your ex. I just have never done it.
1 person likes this
@cecillecarmela (3818)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
Hmmmm..
Probably the reason why I don't like receiving gifts from a lover. :( because I see them as debts..
@personaave (598)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
I can't say whether it's right or wrong to return the gifts given to you by your boyfriend/girlfriend after you split up. First of, those things are already yours since those were 'given' to you, so you can do anything you want with them. In my case, back then , I cut, tore then burned the love letters, pictures, etc. With regard to the blings, I pawned them, and I spent the money with my friends. ^_^
@cecillecarmela (3818)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
Hahaha :) good job with the blings :) I find it a practical thing to do haha.
@allknowing (136369)
• India
31 Jan 10
I would return those gifts which have not been used by me, give away those that I have used to the needy and destroy letters that I may receive. It is better that way as leaving tell tale signs of what was could be quite disturbing and may not help one to move on. It is certainly not rude.
1 person likes this
@eubilisa (211)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
You know for me it depends, for example if he is the reason why we broke up then why would I return to him all his gifts to me, haha..but no joke I won't return it most especially if he cheated on me and he knows what he did. But if the break up is a mutual decision and it really hurts then I would probably return all his gifts because you know memories hurt all the time so better dispose it rather than to reminisce it all everytime your alone.
1 person likes this
@cecillecarmela (3818)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
Thanks eubilisa :) maybe you're right probably it really depends on the kind of break up.
@EmberSilence (22)
• United States
31 Jan 10
I think it's rude. I mean, the same thing happened with me, sort of. After a breakup, for some unknown reason, my ex boyfriend told one of my friends to give me a picture of us. I don't know why. Was it to shove it in my face? That's what I view it as. I mean, if they want something back, they'll ask for it. If they don't, they probably don't want any more reminders.
1 person likes this
@cecillecarmela (3818)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
Thanks EmberSilence. :) the way I see it, probably your ex still loves you that's why he's asking for a picture of both of you :) Idk just an opinion. Anyway thanks for the response.. now I regret returning all those stuffs. :)
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
1 Feb 10
I never have a relationship in my entire rollercoaster life, so the answer is I really don't know. But as of my opinion, now, I will not return the gift but keep them. Although there are people who have hurted you, the role of them on your life is not only to hurt you, in the first place you were happy with them, if you are not happy, why would you accept the gift. Some return the gift as they remember the past whenever these things shown on their face, in my case, I will just keep it to not see it. I think it is rude to return it. but if it is your choice, I don't have to force mine. I respect everyone's decision. Just keep the bags and the stuff toys, gurl!(sayang naman)
1 person likes this
@mensab (4200)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
i do not think it is a good thing to do, or a good time to return things given right after the break-up. please consider the feelings of the other person. besides, things have been given to you. there must be no strings attached to them. they are all yours, but please do no give them back. give them to those who need them, but no your previous partner. he does not need them too. the act of returning them may also shows bitterness and losing the chance to have a friend.
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
i think it depends on the gift. but i do remember that when my first boyfriend and i broke up i found out that my mother returned the ring my first boyfriend gave me. so, i guess, if the gift is that precious that it can appreciate in value then it must be returned. but little gifts that had been used and would get worn with age shouldn't.
1 person likes this
@shikaymaru (700)
• Malaysia
31 Jan 10
In my opinion, it is not about right or wrong. Its about necessarily of doing that. You had your own reason for giving back what your ex gave you. I don't see it is wrong but I don't see that it is necessary.
It is up to you actually if it makes you feel better. However have you ever thought of what your ex would feel when you do what you did. If they love you, sure they feel pain, but if they don't maybe they just throw it away.
For me, I don't give back gifts that my ex gave me when we had a relationship, I even thrown them away without feeling guilty. I know I sound cold, but that is who I am and how I act.
@cecillecarmela (3818)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
My reason is not really out of bitterness actually..
I just don't want him to think that he owes me something.. :) hahaha.. Anyway, thanks for the response and take care ;)
@ANIME123 (2466)
• United States
31 Jan 10
No because when you give someone a gift it means that you know you gave it to them and it belongs to them. Still some people return their stuff to each other, but it seems like a rude gesture. A gift is a gift no going back on that well that's how I see that.
1 person likes this
@sabrina_s (6)
• India
1 Feb 10
It entirely depends on the relation that is still there. If you have been cheated then you should obviously return whatever you've got from your x.
1 person likes this