I will not tolerate no student bullying my son in class!

@cream97 (29086)
United States
February 6, 2010 8:31am CST
My son came home from school on last week telling me that a boy in his class had hit him in the face near his eyes. I was very angry. So, I sent his teacher a note telling her what my son told me. I also, told her the other things that this student was saying to my son. This student has been making idle threats towards my son. He said that he was going to bring worms to school so that he could put it on my son. He also said that he was going to make my son's eyes red. My son has told me that this boy was trying to color his nails either with a crayon or a marker. And he said that the boy was bending his arms in, like he was trying to be rough with him. So, the teacher called me at home the next day. And we talked for about 25 minutes. She said that my son never told her about what this other student was doing to him. She even said that she did not know about any of these incidents that took place in her classroom. I found that to be very strange. Because, my son came home every day telling me about what this boy was doing and saying to him in class. I wonder how did the teacher miss this??? I asked her if this boy was bothering anyone else in class. And she said no. I have asked my son where all of these incidents took place and he told me that it took place in his classroom. He even told me that the boy would yell at him and say,"Do Your Work"! I told the teacher about this too and she had no knowledge of this either. My son has told me many times that this particular boy even would disrespect the teacher too. He said that when his teacher back is turned, he said that the boy would stomp and make faces at the teacher. I brought this to the teacher's attention too, and she did not have any kind of response letting me know if this was true or not. I don't know what is going on in this classroom, but if my son is being bullied and mistreated, I feel that I have a right to inform the teacher so. The teacher seems to not know anything at all what is taking place in her classroom at all. She does not have a very large class at all. ** Once my son's teacher went home early one day of last week. My son said that the reason why she went home, is because the students were being too bad in the class. Another teacher came and took over her classroom that day and the next day. So, it seems to me that the teacher is perfectly aware of what is going on in her classroom. She is a very nice and caring teacher. But as a parent, I would like for her to be honest with me about what another student is doing to my son. I don't want to tattletale, but this boy has been bullying my son for about 2 months now. I am tired and this boy has no business putting his hands on my son at all. That is considered violent behavior and it should not be tolerated in school!
6 people like this
19 responses
@carpenter5 (6782)
• United States
8 Feb 10
In arkansas there is a law against bullying in schools. Have you talked to the other parents? Surely if this is going on, then other children are noticiping it too. Then, You should check with your school's counselor and report the problem. If he/she can't take care of it, then you go to the principal, and if that doesn't work then to the school board, and beyond that to an attorney. Your son deserves a classroom that has an environment where he can learn.
3 people like this
@Java09 (3075)
• United States
7 Feb 10
I think the teacher really does know,and just doesn't want to do anything about it.She probably don't even know how to handle the kids.I definately don't think your son is lying aboutit.I think this teacher is trying to make your son look like he's making up the incidents.I would definately go to the principal about this.I would not let it go if I were you.I had the same exact problem with my daughter getting bullied in school,and they tried to make it look as if she was making it up.So look into it more.Don't let it go.
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
10 Feb 10
It sounds like the Teacher is not able to cope with this boy to be honest I think you need to take it further now Teachers are at a loss because they are so restricted these Days and an easy Target for a Law Suit What should happen is that the Parents get called in and that another Teacher sits on this while the Teacher has a word I know how you feel as my Daughter used to be bullied at School and in the end I would take her and pick her up even at the age of 16 even though by then the Bullying had stopped Schools are at a loss how to deal with it now without being accused of things it is not right I really hope this gets sorted out
2 people like this
@moondancer (7431)
• United States
9 Feb 10
I am wondering at this point if the teacher is a "new teacher"...freshly out of college. This is what it sounds like to me. Also, things are happening in her class room...she SHOULD know what is going on there every minute. Some kids can be mean and be extreme in bullying. The teachers must be on top of this type of behavior. I would call a meeting at the school with the principle, the teacher, and the other childs parent. This needs to be stopped and now! I had to go to school because of a really big girl picking on my very small grand-daughter. I was told the other child had issues. That she also lived with her grandmother. I told them to take care of this or I'd go over their head and the child would have a police record. They have done all they can to separate the girls. The other one is a huge bully. They have her in special meetings with a cancelor and whatever else they can do. Before your son is seriously hurt you need to call a meeting and make a written complaint, a formal complaint against the other child. This is what I had to do. It is best to do something for your childs sake.
2 people like this
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
8 Feb 10
I agree with you. It is a shame. But it does happen. Last year my daughter started wearing glasses to school. A girl told her she looked better without them and grabbed them off of her face. my daughter came home with bent glasses and a scratch on her nose. We brought this to the attention of the principal and the teacher. You did the correct thing.
2 people like this
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
8 Feb 10
I have no idea if it's allowed everywhere (though it should be!), but sometimes parents have asked to sit in on their children's classes if they think their child has a problem (& not just with bullies--inept teachers, too!). I believe they were able to do so with no warning, at least in some cases. Someone who knows law could advise you. You could also try allowing him to bring a pocket-sized tape recorder, if he's old enough to use one, & document what the bully says. You did say your son reported that the bully "stomps" his feet. If the teacher ignores that, a tape recorder won't! I also agree with all the other suggestions made here, including going to the bully's parents, but don't go alone. Usually there is violence in such families; that's where the bullies learn it! Maggiepie "This is the day which the Lord has made; let us rejoice & be glad in it!"
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Feb 10
hi maggiepie the tape recorder thats a great idea as thats really' proof par excellence, they cannot deny that proof. Sounds to me like the teacher is just fresh out of college and scared she cannot handle the kids, or will get fired,but thats no excuse,if she cannot handle the job she should be honest enough to admit it.
2 people like this
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
26 Feb 10
Hi, Hatley. Yes, she does need to be honest and admit that she can't handle her own class. It is very obvious that she is scared and naive about what to do. I have witnessed this so many times by my son coming home to tell me what is taken place at school. And, when I ask the teacher about it, she act as if she does not know what is going on in her own class!!! What kind of mess is that?
1 person likes this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
6 Feb 10
Write a letter about your son bullying experience and send it to the principle. Write also about your conversation with the teacher. State in the letter that you need an explanation what school is doing to protect your son. School is the place where kids supposed to learn and feel safe. Your son is afraid to go to school and this fact can limit his ability to pay attention, learn and as the result, affect his grades.Say, that if school is not able to protect your son, you may ask for order of protection from police. Send a copy to Board of Directors and save few copies for higher instances if you don't get respond in writing. Make sure on the letter you have listed "copy to". Send all letters as certified.
2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Feb 10
cream97 this teacher is something else, maybe shes scared for her job or something to pretend she doesn't know what goeson in her own classroom? Is she too young? Cream I would take this above the teacher's head to the principal and tell him exactly what is going on, just what you have told us. Your son does not deserve to be mistreated by this bully. I think perhaps the teacher is too young and inexperienced, afraid as she cannot control the kids she will be fired, but thats not your fault. she is in charge of these children and should know how to control them or else give u p and go back to teachers school and learn how to teach.so go see the principal as this kind of behavior should not be tolerated at all.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
26 Feb 10
She looks young. I would guess that she could be in her late 30s. I am 31 and she looks older than me. But she does not look that old though. It is hard to say what is wrong with her. She has such a sweet attitude but when it comes to handling her students, she does a very poor job. It is like she would do something dumb and then blame it on my son.. The way she carries herself in teaching is very odd.
@kezabelle (2974)
6 Feb 10
Sometimes bullying does go unmissed teachers cant watch every single child for every second of the day. I totally understand your anger my eldest daughter was bullied by two boys in her class about three months ago the teacher was unaware of the issue BUT did as soon as it was brought to her attention sorted the matter and there has been no problems since. Now if you dont feel your childs teacher has dealt with the matter properly I would contact the head of the school for a meeting all schools have an anti bullying policy these days make sure you tell them you wish to see it and discuss how they are implementing this structure in your sons case and see if that gets the problem resolved. I hope your son is ok because I know my daughter was very distraught while this was happening and its hard because really all the poor child being bullied needs to know is that they matter and that their complaints have been listened and dealt with otherwise it can quickly esculate in to not only bullying but a real confidence knock to your son, make sure the school are aware you wont rest until the matter is settled and if so will take it further than the head teacher.
2 people like this
@Maggiepie (7816)
• United States
1 Mar 10
Got a comment on something--no idea what...MyLot's goofed up somehow, so I can't reply! It won't let me see the other responses 'til I reply to the main post again! Once I post this, it will allow me to see everything. So if it's pertinent, I'll answer it--if it's actually directed to me; it could be something under a comment I made, in answer to Hatley's input. If so, no answer will be forthcoming. Sorry to have to do this! I don't know what the heck's the matter! Maggiepie "WHERE'S THE real BIRTH CERTIFICATE?"
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
8 Mar 10
Hi, MaggiePie. I understand.. Your error is excused.
@madteaparty (2748)
• Japan
7 Feb 10
I know very well that some teachers don't want to get involved in any problem, and will not only care about bullied students, but some might even blame the bullied students instead of the bullies. I have never understood why that behaviour, when a kid is in need for help, he or she should be helped. Good luck, I hope your kid will stop being bullied
2 people like this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
6 Feb 10
Is there a Head Teacher or a Headmaster at your school that you can contact in confidence? Perhaps you could arrange a meeting, making sure that it's not in school hours of course, so as not to arouse suspicion, and you could take your child in with you and he could relay the same story as he told you. Then it's up to the powers that be what to do about the teacher, as this teacher seems a bit soft if you don't mind me saying so.
2 people like this
• United States
7 Feb 10
This is how you deal with a bully. Even so violence is not necessary the answer sometimes one needs to put another in their place. Teachers may only do so much and a bully will always pick on a kid one time or another in a day. There is no way to get away from bullies. Depending how on big a kid is and who he hangs out with is weather or not a person is picked on. When I was in grade school. I had a bully, I chose to ignore him because that is what I was taught. He never stopped bothering me. One day I had enough, this was in fifth grade, I punched him right in his jaw and cut him. He never bothered me again. In high school I transferred to a private school as a Junior. I was on the smaller side but none the less, I had an attitude and did not care. First three weeks kids talked their smack and I put them all in their place and challenged each one of them to fight me including one in front of the entire lunch room. Yes, I did use swears but I was bold and was face to face, not blinking once. The look you give some one is huge. These kids never fighted me, they are what I call all talk. I would rather take a chance then be picked on every day. You do not have to be big to make a point. This is your kid and you need to address this problem. Your kid is looked at like he is weak, he will have this problem through out school unless something changes. Maybe he needs for confidence, enroll him in Martial Arts or something. Bullies do not go away until you hit them hard. Its pathetic but that is how life works. Tell him to make some more friends too, a group will change things too.
2 people like this
@Mady2791 (545)
• United States
8 Feb 10
I am so sorry you are going through this. Thank god I haven't got through this yet because it would really break my heart seeing one my kids being treated and having no support from the teacher to end this problem. I did encountered a little problem last year but it wasn't a kid it was one of the teachers that was helping out in that class. This was just a one day incident(that I'm aware though) but it really affected him to the point he didn't want to go to school and once threw up in the car because he would get too nervous and upset. It took a while for him to snap out of it so that really got me down(I spent one day in bed feeling all depressed) because I could tell he was really affected by this. So, I understand how you are feeling. I hope this incident gets resolved so that your son can enjoy going to school again.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Feb 10
I think the teacher was aware of it but doesn't want to admit it for fear of embarrassment. If the teacher does nothing about it you can have your son transferred to another class or report the teacher to the principal. If the school does nothing about it then you could let others know how incompetent the school is and even make a case out of it or you could send your son to another school.
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
6 Feb 10
Hi, spiderlizard. I think that this teacher was very aware of what had happened in her class. There is no way that she can't tell me that she did not know anything about what was going on in her classroom. I just can't believe that..
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
7 Feb 10
No, it shouldn't be tolerated. If the teacher isn't doing anything, can you take it to the principal?
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
6 Feb 10
Sounds like that teacher is in over her head. There should be order in the class. Now I know they can't be aware of every little thing but it sounds like this kid is a trouble maker. Sometimes kids don't say anything to their teacher but once you have, she should be more aware and catch if for some crazy reason she hasn't before. I think I would let her know the next time you talk if the problem has not been taken care of that you will speak to the principal about it. If what your son says is accurate about the teacher being replaced because of the kids for a day..chances are the principal knows about it. Take care and good luck.
1 person likes this
@monkeylong (3139)
• Guangzhou, China
6 Feb 10
As far as I am concnered, I think evryone will not tolerate this situation when some one bullying my sons. As when we are parents ,we regard our babies as our the most valueable person in the world.If someone else bullying him, I may not bullying the person in return.But I think I will give him a warning at the same time.
1 person likes this
• India
6 Feb 10
Hello, I think you should first go see this boy's parents and tell them nicely about what his son has been doing. Ask them to take measure immediately. Also don't forget to tell them that you will go see higher authorities if this goes on any further. See what comes up. Now I want to tell something about your son too. Your son is a very honest and straight forward. But a person like this will get lot of resistances from any other ordinary student. In that case your son should learn to be strong, not physically, but mentally. It is quite necessary to make him more positive and firm. What I've learned from here is that your son can grow into a remarkable man if you and his teachers can guide him properly. He has some features that even I took time to develop. They are his in born. God bless you all. Take care
1 person likes this