Are you a different person in real life from what you are here?

Hiya Aunt V.. it's 'anak saudara' in my language, but that would be a mouthful, so you can just stick with nephew. As far as what you have said, I do think that sometimes, we need to raise a level up for our 'inner-voice' to be heard. Sometimes, it just falls on deaf ears, isn't it? And I know what you mean. I like your outgoing personality in mylot, and hope that you'll always be able to keep that up. As for your real personality outside mylot, I think you have a good aura there. So just keep that up, aunt..

Oh yeah, and I forget to say, you are very much welcome.

Thank you dear nephew! What is the word for nephew in your language? :) So you tend to keep your opinions to yourself. :) I have noticed one thing as far as I am concerned. I too hate conflicts. May be that is why I adjust as far as possible. But because of that adjusting me, even when I say no, people dont take it as no, and try to override my wishes! Then it does get a bit annoying, and I do react - in a b***** way. :) In the backdrop of my normally good nature it does look strikingly nasty. LOL. Well, we cant really help that, can we? :) But there are other instances, where I could have been more cool and collected, rather than reacting. I have those regrets. :) I think my mylot personality is what I am actually. :) Outside, I do end up smiling when I dont really feel like, and doing a whole lot of things, which personally I wouldnt want to!

I dont see why you cant afford to do that here! Unless you mean that you dont know how to call a spade a spade without using some banned words! I think in so far as opinions are concerned, we should be expressing them as honestly as we can. Here, I get to express them in cool and collected way, so I dont really need those words. :) I am also not influenced by prejudices due to wrongs of other persons when I state my opinions here, so to that extent, my mylot personality is inded my real unadulterated self while in real life what I am is not really what I would like to be but something I become due to circumstances! Interesting thought! :)

He he. Unparliamentary language! I am worse than that I am afraid! I can use simple words and inflict the kind of pain that the person cannot recover in lifetime. :) I dont need those words. :) People who use unparliamentary language are in my opinion much nicer/simpler folks than me, as they have not achieved my level of nastiness. :) But then, my nastiness is essentially reserved for people who are nasty or trying to be shrewd - with me or with others. :) I agree the world needs to be woken up from its unrealistic slumber. :)

You seem to be the opposite of me. No. I do not use unparliamentary words at all but vehemently disagreeing with someone here could kick up dust and the reaction of others might prompt Admin to delete the discussion. I have seen it happening here. Honestly in real life I say what I have to say as the world is becoming so unreal by keeping things to on self that we are living in a fools' paradise. Atleast a few people like me could wake up people who are day dreaming!!

Me too. :) Some of the discussions I participated in, my friends and relatives would never expect me to be there. LOL. What more the opinion that I gave in such discussion would have their jaws dropping. LOL.

I agree. We can give what ever opinion we want on here but if asked the same question in the real world our answers would more than likely differ drasticly.

Basically though, I do believe in my replies out here. It is just that in real life, I wouldn't dare to be like that. So it is a false me in real life, and not the other way round. :)

Yep you make a pretty good point. I certainly agree that we're not acting or pretending while we're. There are definitely dynamics of communications and relationships that are different when you're face to face and really know each other than when you don't see each other so much.

I appreciate your honesty. :) But we are nice because of another reason as well verabear. :) Here nobody is hurting us with snide remarks - we are not subjected to any envious remarks, simply because nobody knows the other so well! :) Because of this, we can continue to be friends. In real life such things create the need to hit back or defend ourselves with some nastiness. Dont you think? I think we are honest, we are not acting. It is just that we are not ourselves because in real life our responses are different because of different conditions. What do you think? :)

Hi happy, :) In principal, very few here differ from what they are in real life. :) It is just that some aspects of their personality never gets expressed. May be that is why we come here. :)

Hi cianoy, thanks. :) I think there is difference between deliberate faking, and inability to be ourselves. In real life, we may be influenced by what we know about the other person and therefore, we react to the personality of that person rather than stand up for what we believe in! Here, we are able to be ourselves! Of course, we dont use some of the words as mylot's rules would not allow them. But come to think of it, they wouldn't be there in our vocabulary had certain type of persons not been their in our lives, dont you think?

That's a valid point too. You'd care more for the reaction in person than you would here. Therefore, you're more likely to express strong opinions here.

Or perhaps react strongly to the words uttered by people in real life?

Impaling is so cruel... I'm really sad you think that of me... I would never do that to you... Most probably I would have made you balloon animals. Out of your intestins that is...

Hi cub! I dont hold back here! :) I can afford to be me here! Outside the virtual world, my emotions are involved in both good and bad ways. Therefore, I could be prejudicial at times, which is not what I should be or want to be. Though normally I am able to put the stopper there, at times some nastiness does sneak out. :) So your aunt is not all that good in real life kiddo. :) And as far as treating you as kid spartan, you are! I am not! I am quite mature! Your attitude is quite childish! Ok?

For example somebody bad mouths me outside, and I learn of it, obviously I would be holding it in my mind when I talk to the person the next time and be cautious how I behave, isn't it? But here nobody is going to go around envying me, or bad mouthing me. So I cant really be nasty here - and that is what I meant. This is my true self, the other me emerges because of different circumstances. :) Of course, our inability to have major differences is also because we communicate through writing rather than verbally. Had it been verbal communication, I am sure by this time you would have impaled me. LOL.

Well that is sad to me that your opinion is just brused aside. My mother always told me that people can only do to you what you allow them to do. And to me if the want you to respect their opinion then they should do the same to your. Then again I am not sure where you are from or the customs that you are used to but there is no way I would just let anyway brush aside my thoughts!

Dear sxrxnrr, I am touched. I have got so used to my opinions being brushed aside, that I no longer find it insulting. There have been instances when I felt that listening to my opinion would make a difference, but it is always elders, and outsiders who get their way in our home. :) I guess, that is the reason mylot makes me happy. Nobody is brushing me aside for a change. :) Just dont know which of the two is real me. :)

but i never pretend to be someone that i am not...

Hi ckyera, I agree. :) In real life some emotions overtake us, and we just dont find right logics and right words coming to our aid. :) At least I dont. :) It takes me some reflection, and afterwards I do regret not having said or done something in a more simpler way. :) But then, I think this is how we really are - strange that our virtual personalities are our real personalities, and our real personalities are full of hypocrisy and emotions that we do not exactly identify with but do just to score one up! :(

Hi ckyera, I think in so far as pretending to be somebody else, I think I pretend more in real life and not at all here. :( What have I to lose here anyway! :)

Hello, again. Yes, I am impulsive, and I do react to nasty remarks. I take your point that we have more time to think about what we post than we do in real conversations, so yes, things may come out a bit differently online. Thanks for the nice comments about my posts - I enjoy yours as well.

Ok! Are you ever impulsive in real life Sandra? Do you ever react to anything nasty said to you? Well, do you know of anybody who is envious of you and goes around bad mouthing you? How is your reaction to such folks in real life, and do you come across anybody who has been doing that to you here? I'd say part of our personality, and a crucial part, is not exposed. We try to be what we are - and we honestly believe in what we are saying and doing. But our sphere of interaction is limited as all human emotions do not seem to come here. I read your responses, and they are really hilarious. :) I have been picking the links and passing on to other friends. :) My friends do not have time to mylot but they love such things. :)

Hi getbiswa, may be you have been fortunate so far, finding the right kind of folks around you. :) There are situations when people envy you, harm you, try to be selfish with you, and there is nothing you can do about it - till it gets over head, and then react may be in a crude way. Such situation can never happen out here because we can simply avoid the discussions that are unpleasant. Therefore, the real and genuine you that you are showing is only part of you. There is that other part that is not really visible. But of course, may be this rule doesnt apply to everybody. :)

Hi getbiswa, I meant - we can afford to express what we think and feel here without actually going overboard - using wrong and forceful expressions. In real life, we need to give our responses in real time. At that point of time, may be some words do not come in our mind at the right time, because of which there might be some unpleasantness. We run the risk of getting lost in those words rather than actual matter. Word for word kind of thing. It may or may not be unparliamentary. :) Out here, we are less inclined to do that. :) That is because we can still express what we think and feel. :)

Hi Vandana, I know that situation is not always favorable. People do change their behavior under pressure. But I too believe that there is no strength required to go along with what others think, do what others do and behave as the others behave. The real strength in man is demonstrated in swimming against the current. How would you know that the folks around me are benevolent? I think 90% of the people I've met so far doesn't fit that description and the people I found absolutely wise, none, so far. Each day I have to stand against them, their feeble ideas and manipulative behavior. But the question is, why should I do something just because 10 other people around me want me to do it? Why should I think like they think and behave like they do? What is the glory in that? I will be myself no matter what comes ahead. A man without strong principle is no man at all. Thanks for starting this interesting discussion God bless you

Hi javoblrbaba, to the extent I have posted, and I have posted quite a few, I am no different from my responses. But when it comes to real life, I am not quick witted. Therefore, misunderstandings to creep in, as I end up using wrong word in wrong places. :) At times, of course, I am nasty and curt. :) I never get any opportunity to be nasty or curt here. That is because nobody has been nasty to me or people I like. :) Oh a couple of occassions, I did stand up for my friends, but even then, what I wrote was mentioned in such civilized way, which is not normally possible for me. :) So I felt, I differeed from real life. :)

well said vandanaji....well said

Yes, I think so to Aaeleexix. :) I am also quite different as I have already expressed. :) In real life, at times, I am impulsive. At that moment, some emotion takes over, be it fun filled emotion, or anger, or pain. But out here, it is a saner way of talking and thinking, if I can call it that. Since these are the things we believe in, this would qualify as the real us, isn't it, after all, given ideal circumstances, this is what we would be! :) What do you think?

Yes, time and context change the meaning of things. Same thing can be good under some circumstances and bad in another context. So people should not be thought of bad or good I suppose. :) Thanks for sharing your views Aeleexix. :)

I have red the life very closely. I have observed the people very sincerely. I have seen that people think good in their mind. Even the most worst people of the world don't think any bad. But the life is very rude and lead such a way that he is considered as bad. Emotion, anger, love ..... all the feelings makes people away from the right path. Situation and the dealing with the situation is the basic way of life. Most commonly people have to carry a life that they don't want to have. So people are basically dissatisfied. And to be happy in life people gather more sorrows for them. All are dissatisfied. But act as a happy person. How close you reach to the mind of the people and touch the heart you sound the wave of sorrows in the heart of the people. We all are compelled with the situation. Actually people have nothing to do. All are done by the situation and people are blamed or appreciate for....

Hi timasma, to an extent, yes I prefer writing. Face to face, real time responses scare me. :) But there is more to it. In personal life, we also respond based on our feelings towards the person. So if we are envious to them, we are more likely to say, oh! is it? I dont think so, may be in your world it happens like that. lol. that kind of thing you know. :) Out here, such nastiness is missing. :) Dont you think?

That is just the way almost 90 percent of us are! So dont worry. :) Accept yourself as you are, and the world will automatically accept you. ;)

I agree with you. But I do try to be myself at all times. Sometimes for one reason or another we have to hold back a bit, I usually get in trouble for having a mouth, sometimes I say things a bit to fast before reflecting on the subject. But that is just the way I'am. ;O)

Very true. Some persons will test our patience. Unless we show our face, they will not change their attitude.

Hi Buchi, I think I am slightly different. In real life, we do have people who envy us, who ridicule us, and such stuff. Out here, nobody does that! So it is very easy to like everybody out here! It is hard to get annoyed or be nasty with anybody here. Even when we disagree, we do it in such refined and educated way. But when communication is verbal, everything seems to go wrong. May be I had a wrong sort of crowd for quite sometime. So I tended to be reactive, and only now I have found my balance. I dont really know. But I do find I have substantially more number of friends after joining mylot and am able to keep good quality friends around me. Earlier, I always ended up in a group where people were overriding my wishes, being nasty with me, envying me, and so on. Now, people seem to have understood me, and more people are drawn towards me. Partly, of course, mylot is responsible for improving my communication skills, but the other thing could be I have learnt how to view it from others perspective as well. :)

Nice to meet you to van! I'll see you around. :)

Exactly. I too feel that we tend to be more organized as we are not doing things in real time. :) If we did it in real time, we'd be confused / impulsive may be? he he. I too love coming here. Nice meeting you thuhuong. :)

thanks.

So real that sometimes, I felt like I am going to offend someone someday.LOL It feels nice to be the real me. Not giving much care if either you leave me or take me for who I am and for what I am here. This is the reason why I love Mylot. It makes me keep in touch with my real self without being abusive and immoral.:-) Have a wonderful weekdays ahead, my dear.;-)

Exactly, in some instances, we are more open and frank. In real life we dare not do that. While in some other instances, in real life, our prejudices taint our responses. Here there is no scope for such prejudices or reactions to impressions. :) So it is real you who is emerging here, though it is under some conditions. :) Nice to know eurekafemme that you are able to be yourself somewhere. :) I will remember that. :) And good evening to you my dear. :)

Yes of course, almost everybody tries to give their honest opinions. But we are selective in so far as what we want to respond to. :) Therefore, there are issues where our responses matter, but we are not touching those discussions. :) Likewise, we are not really going through the regular envy, anger, love, and such emotions that we normally feel in real life, are we? :) So our responses might be more like machine made - subject to some conditions, may be? :)

Hi nosides, I dont think anybody responds here to please others except when they are doing it for fun. :) Everybody is sincere and honest to the best of their abilities which out here is 100 percent or as close to it as it can get. The point is they choose to steer clear of matters that would require them to tell something that they would rather not. Similarly, they do not follow people who would more likely hurt them. A major difference is of course the type of emotions that we face in real life. In real life we are competitive, envious, impulsive, bad mouthing, gossiping people. :) Here, we are shielded from such feelings I think. Because of that, it is possible for us to be friendly with everybody.