Facing Facts About Your Special-Needs Child

First off what a beautiful little boy you have. He will go far in life as long as you get him involved in the right programs. My cousin is a special needs person and has achived much more than anyone ever thought he could. There are special schools that are designed for the mentally challanged that teach them the thing they will need to know for independent living. Page, my cousin, now lives in a group home with others that share his same needs, he is involved in a group called Connections that teach them simple task such as counting nuts and bolts for packaged items, and he expresses himself as to how he is feeling in a way that everyone can understand. Also, Page is still very active in Special Olympics, which is the absolute best group in the world. He is always so proud of himself when he does well and accepts defeat with the attitude of "I didn't get it this time but I will next time." He and Dustin are true winners. This situation may be very difficult for his father to handle, I know that it caused the breakup of my aunt and uncle's marriage. But my aunt handled it with true grace, as you must do. Accept those things that you can not change but always work for a better tomorrow.

Been there and done that. My husband is one that does not want to talk about things. They are as they are and we cannot change them are his words. It is heartbreaking to know that your son may not be able to live independently. Although they can tell you that, but you can still work towards it. You have to be realistic and not dwell on things. You want to help him make his life as good as possible and as independent as possible. My son is 15. He will probably always be here with me, but I will make him as independent as I can. You have to really concentrate on the strides he is making and not what people are telling you he will never do, or you will go crazy. If you need to talk, I will listen. I really do know where you are coming from.

Man, Lecanis you sure have been put though life's tests. Yet I still hear and read optimism and hope. I have always admired your strength, courage and survival skills. So what I do know is that Dustin will inherit and learn this from you. How can he not? I would love to get caught up with you. If you would like a call PM me. I know I would enjoy it. I have unlimited long distance so that would not be a problem for me. Men are not made out of the same fiber as women. However that is no excuse. Perhaps in time your child father will come around and be able to handle things better and be more support for you. I am sorry to hear of your seperation, but as other posters have pointed out it is typical. Maddening but typical. I have always been very fond of you, and I think you are an incredible person. With a mother such as you are Dustin indeed has a bright future. The two of you can not fail Last we talked his doctors were still thinking his seizures were ferible in nature. We have much to talk about.

I don't have children and never will so I can never know what you are going through but I had to pop in and say I'm so sorry and I wish there was something I could do. But at least you Have a son. There are many , not me mind you, that want a child and never have one.

I have a son called Leo. He has got spina bifida and hydrocephalus. He has a shunt in his head. He needs leg exercises every day. He must have catheter care day and night. I feel tired a lot of the time from all the caring I have to do. He goes to a play group for disabled children and those with special needs. So far in his life he has had two operations. I take him to appointments very often indeed. He has the highest level of disability for care and after age three I imagine he will have the highest level of mobility problems. I am pleased to say he has a blue badge for my car. It lets me park in disabled parking spaces. His dad doesn't live with us. He doesn't understand how challenging it is for my son and I. He wouldn't be able to remember the long list of professionals that we see on a regular basis. At the end of January Leo had a bladder and kidney scan. I was told there is a small problem. So far the only thing he hasn't got a problem with is his eye sight. I know many of the other parents that have children that go to the play group for disabled children. One lady was in tears saying her husband won't listen to anything she says about their son. They have twins: a normal girl and a disabled son. Another lady told her that her husband was always moaning about her being busy. She was taking their daughter to medical appointments. He took one week off work and did all she had to whilst that lady went to visit her sister. Her husband began to take notice about their daughter's problems. Many couples with a disabled child split up. Lots of men find it impossible to face the situation of the special needs child. Good luck with Dustin.

Children are a gift from God like most gifts you get some you are happy with and some you are not so happy with but you gladly accept all gifts because you do not want to upset the giver then their is one special gift that is all important that your use of that gift will determine your special place in the heart of the giver for all of eternity and that is your child and that is your gift to the world.

Honey life has a way of dealing us out overwhelming challenges...some of us take it one step at a time and hold our breath to keep from screaming while others are so busy kicking and screaming that something isn't going to happen that they waste the quailty time they have.... Many look back with regrets while others are blessed to a contented sense of having done their best. I'm so sorry for your child and I will pray that the docs are wrong!!! Keep hope alive Sweets because miracles do happen. Great big hug hugs to you..can you feel the warmth? xoxooxoxoxoxo

I have a son, who was just born "sickly". At the age of six he was diagnosed with Petit Mall seizures. I was told not to expect too much from him. There was a chance that he would outgrow the seizures, but that it was slim and I should not get my hopes up to high. He will be 14 in a few months. He has outgrown the seizures. His intelligence level is pretty much on track with that of his peers. He has a speech impediment. I went through the same thing you are with his dad. For some reason, fathers do not want to admit that their sons are anything less than perfect. I would have given my own soul to have had my child be perfectly "normal" and healthy, but I accepted him for the way he was. Yes, I felt very strained while having to deal with my son's disabilities (he is also asthmatic and ADD). I didn't get a lot of imput from his dad. I took on full responsibility for doctor's visits and medications,school and everything. Of course, in all honesty, as much as I would have liked to have some help, I would have been making the final decisions anyway. I will always believe that there is nothing more certain than a mother's intuition. I decided the best way to deal with it was to simply pray and then take it minute by minute. Don't get all hung up on the negative prognosis the doctors give you. They are merely human and they do make mistakes. Only God knows what will happen. Concentrate on your son's strong points. Do the best you can to improve the weak ones. It is a lot of work and worry, but it is all worth it when you see him succeed at something you didn't think he ever would.