she completely lost her mind..she's coming for a visit???...

Hi p3ks626, Well, I know it doesn't seem right to you but I kind of have to side with her a bit on this one. I had become really close to my ex's family also. When we broke up, I still remained close to them. I would visit his mom and grandfather and they would sometimes pop into my place for a coffee. That was years ago and to this day, his mom and I exchange e-mails and call & meet for coffee, remember each other at birthdays and holidays. I am in contact with his sister as well. I probably would not listen if someone told me to stay away from them. Now I'm a little confused as you said that she is coming to YOUR house. Do you live with his parents? If so then I can see how that would be awkward. If I were you I'd be civil to her or it is apt to make the situation worse.

I used to be in the same situation. My husband's ex was also close to my husband's family. She still visits my husband's Mom but I don't care. As long as he is not visiting my husband. She's still texting, calling and even sending emails to my husband. I did not confront her about it. I just let my husband tell her to keep her distance from us. I was also close to my ex family but when he got married I kept my distance even to my ex family. It is because I know how awkward and uncomfortable the situation will be for his wife. I also want her to have a chance to be close to my ex family. I no longer have communication to my ex family. Eversince he got married. For me, if the girl has a common sense and is on her right mind then she should be decent enough to stay away from your husband. You can't force her though to stay away from your husband's family but she should at least know when and when not to show herself especially if you and your husband is around. It means she should stay away from both of you especially if you are in a group conversation with your husband's parents or other family members. It should be your moment and not her so she has no right to get their attention why you are with them. She should at least know that you don't feel comfortable. She is also a woman so she should know that. Unless she is really dumb or callous or pretending to be dumb.

Shes's totally out of her mind! I have an idea! Invite her for a visit so you will be prepared! And at the same time try to invite some of your friends men - who are sigle and make a small inner together- telling everyone that she is a single and she is looking for a good man...etc...tell everyone how good she is etc...so she feels uncomfortable, try to play out this joke with her so she never 1 ever comes back Good luck!!! Towards crazy people have to play crazy

I would.... be nice and tell her that this is what you want and tell her that she should respect you. Things will get ugly if you become negative too.

Every person deserves a right treatment. Though it is hard, we have to treat them nicely, unless she'll do something that hits beyond the line. We don't what will be the intentions she as, but as long as she'll appear there nicely and won't do any scandalous things then she has to be entertain.

try to tell her infront with your husband to get lost and stop bothering you and your family again. or better yet, be nice to her, and show her that you and your husband love each other so much that there is no room for her.

Your husbands ex is coming for a visit. That would be a circus just kidding. Why don't you try to meet her face to face and see what stuff she is made of. Analyze her and plan your strategy. Did you consider her as an enemy or a threat and if you are then you better be prepared. Since she was using her close relationship with your husbands family it will be hard. Do not lost your cool and your control. Don't let her win. She wins if she finds you worried and trembling in front of her. Face her and don't be afraid let her come and try to reasoned with her in a gentle manner. Show her you are a force to be reckoned with.

Hi,dear,I do come up with a very good idea,which needs u to exert ur best to prove ur ability being a better housewife than her.You get along with all your husband's family,dont u?What about show her the closeness between u and ur family ?And let her know she can be replaced.Meanwhile,dont forget to show ur common hospitality and ur coldness as well.lol Thats hard.Anyway,wish u all the best!

I'm confused. She's his ex yet has decided to visit anyway? Do you and your husband live with his family so in effect she'd be visiting everyone? If that is the case, then I'd take hubby aside and tell him that he needs to let his family know it's not right. He needs to take a firm stand now and support you and protect your feelings! He needs to let them know that it would be stressful and hurtful to both of you as you are married now. Breaking up with someone does mean you lose the family connection too. I've never known it to be any different for anyone that I knew. There's no way it can work well for everyone. If she wants to visit them, she can stay at a hotel and they can all meet there for lunch. There's no reason for her to come around you and your husband and his family should understand that. Or is they want, they can go and visit her. In any case, leave you out of it. If all else fails, I would find a way for you and hubby to be gone before she gets there. If you have some friends then visit them for the weekend. If not then go to a hotel or a hostel if need be. And you won't come back til she's gone. Maybe if he explains it to his parents, the will understand that you are their daughter now and she's just an ex who is getting close to stalking him. Good Luck!!

...Hip3ks626, No, I do not agree, she is not crazy. She is up for a challenge. She feels that if she can get near your husband, she can entice him into doing something to break up your marriage. Not that she wants him, ahe wants to be destructive, because she thinks she still has a hold on your husband. She has no boundaries. People like this are dangerous. You cannot allow her in your house, that must be clear. Your husband must be with you on this, because she is counting on his weakness. This is a woman bent on destroying your marriage and you must recognize this. This is not for friendship, she has a plan. How far she will go, I don't know, but you should not let her in your house. Your husband is the key, he must be strong, because women know how to undermind men, and sometimes men are gullible. Before you know it, he will be feeling sorry for her and she will have him where she wants him. Talk to your husband in depth about this, you both must be on the same page and fight this together. Take care and good luck.

Based on this discussion so far it makes me think that maybe you're the one that's a bit insecure. You asked what I would do, and I'm going to be blunt and honest with you. That's how I am, and if I feel something needs to be resolved... you get the idea. Now, you think she's insecure because she took it harshly that you wish that since you married her ex that she should stay away from his family? Cutting off contact, or asking someone to cut off contact is wrong. It makes you the one a bit insecure. Just because your husband married you, and not his ex-girlfriend, doesn't mean that she should ruine the relationships she had with other members of her family or rather his. People who don't chose to see each other romantically can still remain friends, and you should be willing to respect that. If she does come over, take it in stride. Don't do anything, after all a few hours of posible disconfort is nothing compared to the lifetime you have. If things with you and your husband are strong an ex visiting won't matter. Grow-up deal with it... and accept that its not a crime. My man has people in his life I don't particurally care for, but I don't tell them, or him they cannot see one another. I just stomach it and make polite conversation, because its selfish to cut him off from the people he knows.

I've had a friend who's had a similar problem to this. Although in his case he moved about 3 times without telling her and she's tracked him down every time. You need to get your husband to tell it to her face that he doesn't want her coming around anymore, and that he's married and happy.

First of all you have to check with your husband ,what exactly he wants and then take a hard step. Cos its a insecurity she has as it is human tendency and if your husband is with you then all is fine leave the town for a week or some time and never compare yourself and her in front of your husband. Be a bit cautious all will be well.

Apparently the family enjoys this conflict or something. I would not open the door when she shows up. It's an excuse when they say they are being nice. I would ask my husband if he wants to stay or leave when she plans to visit? This not normal behavior from anyone. This will sound harsh, but it is your husband that should do the talking since she is coming to see him and his family and not coming to visit you. He is the spotlight in this equation. If she fails to leave on his request and keeps persisting , document it, and get a restraining order, if she or he violates and they can be arrested and go to jail. Then you will know for sure of who is in your relationship besides you and your husband. Something keeps her coming back after a marriage has taken place. Things that make you Hmmmmm, what am I missing from this picture since I am so focused on getting rid of her. Why is he (or are they ) allowing her to come even to your house? It does not sound they do not want her coming. They all may say it to your face and side with you on your rampage but take a closer look actions do speak louder than words. Try this, forget its you ( its hard but try) and you are looking at this from an outsider. without saying anything (hard to) listen to their body language. How do they look at you? Do they respect you? Do they act differently with you then the rest of the family that has married into? Are you involved in family functions or decisions? Are the first or last person they run to with certain information or news? Basically start listening to their actions and words while trying to contain yourself. She already got to you so she is winning. Eventually your husband will tire of your concerns even if they are not true, which will cause conflict, then he will call her, maybe because she is causing this mess and just maybe get tangled in her web or plot to get him back.... Meanwhile making you look like the bad guy. A simple play on emotions. We're good at that playing the savior and listening for opportunity to move on someones territory without them knowing it. Women are caretakers and we look for clues without saying much verbally. Be assertive of yourself and show you can the bigger person and handle it diplomatically. I f you think you may need someone to talk to therapist are good in helping come your own conclusions and not a play on words. My fiance ex-wife of 10 years still tries to get him back every now and then but the law and now distance keeps her at bay because he handled it not me. His family will converse for the child's sake, that all. So I have experience in this unfortunately. When I try to suggest things to it pushed him away. I had to rethink this situation and let him handle it while holding my breath, lol. His family would not against his wishes either. Like I said he is the controlling factor. Good Luck.

Hi, p3ks626. If she comes to my home without me telling her to, I would call the police on her. She can't just barge into your home because she wants to. She is on your property and she has to go. Just call the police on her. It is very obvious that she is not going to take no for an answer. Let the police handle her. I am sure that they know exactly how to put her in her place!

I suggest you tell your husband about it and ask him what/how he thinks about it. Also,I don't think you have to be concern about it,even though its actually obvious that shes trying to do a very naughty (scenes/situations) thing.Just act normal and be a woman with dignity and confidence.Don't get affected by what she's doing,show and prove to her that she has to back off (of course,not literally,hehe). Anyways,I agree with you that she's an insecure lady.i pity her.she should move on. Damn,why cant women stay away with other peoples husband. ..Goodluck!

I can totally relate with you. Though in my case, my boyfriend and I aren't married yet, and his ex is still living in their house because they have a kid together. Sometimes you just want to tell them that they should learn their place. I get that the family is just being civil but doesn't really want to tell it to her face that what she's doing is not right. I am all for telling her that you are not really comfortable with her being all to friendly with the family and even coming over to your house... I personally don't say anything to my boyfriend's ex because I understand that she only lives there because of their son, and she really can't take care of their son by herself. I just wish sometimes that she'll be more sensitive to my feelings and how I feel with her living there and acting as if she is still part of my boyfriend's family.

It is one thing for her to visit his family, but not your home! She has to undertand that it is over with her and tyour husband and coming over makes you both uncomfortable. She needs to respect your wishes and get on with her life.

Are your parents aware that she is coming and have they told her she would be welcomed? This is where the problem is. Your parents need to make it clear that while they certainly wish her well, the relationship they had with her was because of the relationship she was having with you. It would be inappropriate for them to continue this relationship since she and their son are no longer together. If she just shows up at their door, make sure they are prepared to say this to her at the door and not to invite her in. They can say that it just isn't a good time for them to have visitors. They shouldn't worry too much about offending her in this way. She obviously has a little bit of "stalker" in her and frankly, I would be worried for your parents if she manages to get to them. It is a ploy and make sure your parents agree with you on this.