Fighting with an in law

First...lets be very objective and consider what he says he has to "tolerate" about you. We all have something that we do that has the potential to bug someone else and usually if we keep that in mind, we can try not to do it...simply as a courtesy. We all have opinions that differ from others, especially relatives. My sister-in-law can't stand my mother because mom is a true conservative and my SIL is very liberal. I finally got mom to quit bringing up politics around them and that ended that. And, as you say, if he is old and in poor health he is lot a lot of old men that become crabby and intolerent. Out of respect, I'm sure you try not to provoke him, but sometimes he doesn't need a reason. All of that being said...where the hell is your husband in all of this? Sitting there watching the game and ignoring his father's rude behavior? HE is the one that needs to step up and defend you. You shouldn't have to. And if you have tried to work out the problems with your FIL and no matter what you do, nothing changes, then tell your husband that he needs to set his father straight and come to and understanding with him about how you are to be treated when the family is together...and that if he doesn't see the need, or gives some other excuse, then simply tell him that you no longer feel comfortable being around his dad and have decided that you no longer WILL be around him. If that means he has to miss Thanksgiving at his folks house to stay home and have it with you- that is as it should be. YOU are his wife. He is supposed to honor you first and when a man marries, he leaves his family to create his own and that is where all loyalty belongs.

Till now, I have a good realtionship with my in-laws. It may be because we live in different countries and we had only little communication through email and phone. It is normal to have misundertandings and small issues with in-laws, especially when you stay with them. It is better to ignore or avoid them if they sound different. It is not easy for us to change people who are at old age.

Fighting and quarrels with the in laws is pretty common, for a long time... It should not be taken seriously, if it occassional; I think... But if it becomes a regular thing, then I would suggest you to consider the matter wholly and take a proper decision which will be safer and better for both- you and your in law. I would say, you did the right thing here in keeping quiet. A lengthy argument can be harmful for an old man with feeble health. And most of the times, aged people start arguing for no reason. It is just their age and weakness (sometimes), that irritate them and their words should not necessarily mean anything. And yet, if it becomes a regular thing, then please revise the situation... Good Luck!!!

Sometimes, in-laws can really be difficult. I have not been married yet. But I know a lot of friends and relatives who are also at odds with their in-laws. In-laws can really be annoying and irrational. But we can do nothing about it but just keep quiet so that there will be no major word wars. If I was accused of something, I would just tell my husband to defend me from his parents. He should be able to fight for me.

Wow, that must be really serious matter. Well, I am still single now, and if I got involve in a fight with my in law, in such intolerable accusation, I might go ahead and defend myself. No matter who he/she is. That is my take. So, you might done a right thing after all.

I would just say I didn't do it and if you choose not to believe me then that is your choice and then I would just be quiet. I do not like to argue and fight so I choose to avoid it when ever I can. I really don't like to fight it's always best to try and get along. Hopefully you and your father in law will soon stop the fighting.

i used to get into with my in laws all the time, but its mostly how i handle things, before it was how i handled my kids when they did something wrong, but the last time it was because how i felt about how my son and nephew still wants to hang out with the guy who sexaull assulted my daughter. my father in law kept telling me i was wrong for wanting them to think like me, but he was telling me i should think like him. yeah wth ? lol but for the most part me and my in laws are cool with each other now, they see how much i do take care of my wife, and i'll do whatever for her.

I have fought with my in-law a few years back and believe me it is something that has changed the path of my life. I am not saying it is good to fight with them verbally but sometimes you just have to show them where you stand so they won't come stepping on you for nothing. I showed her that I am standing up for all the decisions of my son and so now she is not interferring with it. Sometimes fights turn out as a sign that God wants to show you things that you are not aware of.

Basically it is not a fight but a clash of ideas. It is also the generation gap that creates this clash. They accuse as they think they are right and we on our part feel we are right. I have learnt it with experience it is better to ignore such accuses as it only strains our relationships and also gives us mental tension. You did a good thing by giving up as others would have also accused you had he fallen sick. We will never be losers by giving up and follow the golden rule - To err is human but to forgive is Divine. Happy mylotting.

This case is a common problem in marriage particularly if you are living near them where they would see your daily activities. I had encountered similar experience more than a couple of times before. As expected, I would try to explain my side and if they believe in me then that settles the issue but...when I felt that i am at the losing side i stop explaining and go somewhere else out of their sight to avoid further friction. They're hypertensive too and I don't want to take the blame if I insist my side.