what if you're inlove with someone whose already taken???
By yra1026
@yra1026 (47)
Philippines
March 4, 2010 2:55am CST
what if you're inlove with someone whose already taken? would you wait until he get free again??? or would you fight for your love???
3 years ago, i met this guy and he's so fun to be with... he's not boring, he's a traveler like me and we even have same ideals and interest. we're both singles at the time and both of us are also dating with the other (guys/gals) as well. as time past by i never thought that i started to like him, i just ignored the feelings because i was still in the limelight that aside from him there's another guy who wants to take me out on a date... days, weeks, months passed by he suddenly stopped calling me, chatting me on the net, and i got no idea why he stopped, until i bumped his friend in a grocery, and shared me that his already have a GF... i dont know why i felt so depressed and sorry for what I've heard at that moment, maybe because i started to like him or maybe because i assumed that he likes me too... i don't know...after that moment, i've started to asked myself why??? what happened??? or should i say am i not attractive to look at??? i know i couldn't answer this unless i heard him answering this questions?
and its already 2 years has been passed and still i felt same way as i felt it at the very first moment... now what will i do??? will i compromise my feelings to that guy??? or shall i be selfish to myself and let him go? coz he's already taken.
2 people like this
31 responses
@eurekafemme (5876)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
If he is already taken, no use of chasing him around. You two had your chance but you let it go. Plus, it is unfair to the guy and to is girlfrined if you will wreck havoc to their relationship because your realized that you are in love with him...
Put yourself in the other girl's shoes. You wouldn't like it, would you? Besides, if that man was interested in you the way you do, he would have done something to pursue the bond or feeling, perhaps. He did not look for another woman to fall in love with.
He stopped communicating with you, then, it is a clear signal that he doesn't have a thing for you. Maybe it was just friendship that he wanted from you.
MOve on, girl. You will meet other guys.It is not fair to ruin ones relationship because of our own selfish reasons. For sure, the guy has already moved on and has completely gotten over with whatever you two had shared in the past...
Get a life and goodluck...
@stricken43 (347)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
if that someone is already taken, its ok to be in love with him/her BUT do not expect anything in return..Loving someone doesn't mean you have to own him/her..If you expect, you'll get frustrated, and once you're frustrated, many possibilities can come to your mind specially the negative ones..the bottom line is, you are free to love anybody but do not expect to be loved in return especially if that someone has already his/her someone..You have just to be satisfy with that kind of setup; you cared for him/her- s/he do the same but you can never be together..that's it..have a nice day..
@yra1026 (47)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
im not expecting anything, nor im not expecting that he would also love me back or answer me back that he also have a feelings for me, the way as i do... 2 years of waiting is enough already! besides i understand god why painted me or let me experienced this kind of thing... i will now leave this crappy thing so that i could start a whole new beginning... thanks on your comment dude! ;)
@lucygelato (161)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
i know that feeling, even i didnt experience that at all, i believe love has the right time to shine, am not giving you hope or what, its just that destiny wont meet your ways if it doesnt mean anything. what do you mean is he married? or just having girlfriend? because its different. you just need to focused what you have, dont think of him so much so you wont expect anything. love will comes you way.. trust me.. just wait!
@yra1026 (47)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
yeah just wait for the right love at the right time with the right one. maybe he's not yet the one that i've been looking for or maybe its not yet time to shine... love can wait and love will find its way... thats why im moving on, leaving this pain behind me ;)
@laura_lmaxi (678)
• United States
5 Mar 10
It is not the best idea to wait for this guy, he is already invested in another relationship, and I don't even think is good either that you talk to him about his feelings, because it is almost impossible that he is going to be with you, believe me, he is a guy, if he would have want you, he would have done some advances towards you, you can hurt yourself and this guys' girlfriend if you go and talk to the guy. So I don't think it is the best idea to do it, I would try to forget about him.
@yra1026 (47)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
actually im starting to forget him. 2 years of craziness is enough already. and i dont want to be the reason of thier broke up if ever that happen.. im letting him go now and im trying to ignore him each day,so that the next time around i'll see him it would be easy for me to accept that were not meant to be. ;)
@workingmoms (195)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
I had the same situation before where I was in love with someone then found out that he already have a girlfriend. From the time that I knew that he is already committed then I helped myself accept it, move on and adjust.
@yra1026 (47)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
move on and accept things that are not meant for you! this are what im doing right now! and i know you cant have someone whose not yours... thats why im leaving this feeling behind even though its difficult, this is the right thing and this is what love is all about. ;)
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
4 Mar 10
it is really up to you... if you are willing to wait for him, then you don't have to let him go... otherwise, it is better for you to let him go and move on with your life... i'm sure that you will be able to find another man that you will like as well in the future... i know that it is easier to say than done... but again, the decision is entirely up to you... wait or let go... take care and have a nice day...
@yra1026 (47)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
for now, i have to let him go! i just bear in mind that maybe were not meant to be... or maybe its not yet the time for us.. besides if were meant to be then love and fate will finds us ways but if not there's nothing we can do about it... thanks on your advice dude!
@braveheart07 (2601)
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
First of all, welcome to mylot. I think you should have told him from the very start that you felt something for him. Right now, the best thing you can do is to let him go If they are really meant for each other, then let it be. Despite of that, you should still make friends with him. Sometimes, things happened for a reason. There maybe a better person out there who is really deserving in your heart.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Mar 10
hi gra1026 give him up, you cannot have a man who already has someone, especially if he has married. what is wrong with you, you cannot take him like a sandwich lying on a plate, he is not yours and never was. get over and start dating other men, forget hi, he had for gotten you.
@yra1026 (47)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
hey hatley, yeah im giving up already.. i will just let them be happy... i know its difficult and unfair to grab other people stuff and i dont want to be labeled as relationship killer as well that's why i've decided to move on and go on with my life not alone but with someone whose deserving my love and attention.
@beatrizguiselle (1118)
• Spain
4 Mar 10
I would not really care, but it depends on the case... Communication and respect is the key to any sort of relationship.
@meetvivek (226)
• India
4 Mar 10
Just let go off him.There would be someone better waiting for you.
@Bhemzky (423)
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
You know what happened? I think he realizes that you're not interested in him that's why he started dating someone else. Maybe because you ignore him somehow and you ignore your feelings for him.
What you should do is wait and support him in his new relationship. Be there for him. Don't do stuff to ruin his relationship to his GF. Cause this will also ruin you. Just show him that you are always there and you care for him. Who knows time will come that their relationship will fail and he'll realize how special you are for him cause you've never let him down. If ever he stays with his GF, still, stay with him and treat him as a best friend and wait for the right person for you. I know you're special and I know that someone special will come for you too. :)
@gogierm4ge (398)
• United States
4 Mar 10
I feel like other people have better chances then I feel different. I feel as I have the best chance, this affects me a lot.
@jassisid (25)
• India
4 Mar 10
this is one of the situation, i was in loved someone so bad, but after a while came to knew that she alreday had a boy friends, now it was tough for me to accept that, well the first thing that i did , was to stop talking to her and stop hurting my self, talked with one of my best friend, its nice to talk to someone who cares for for you and last but not least , do some work , don't get ideal anytime
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
4 Mar 10
I'd forget about him and move on. He is already taken, after all.
I was in a similar situation years ago and although I wasn't in love with the guy I did happen to like him. The only difference was he wasn't taken at the time, at least not that I was aware of anyway. However, he didn't share the same feelings towards me and when he met my best friend they became an item instead. I was a little heartbroken, though at the same time I was happy for my friend...
I never bothered to tell this guy how I felt about him. I moved on. Some time passed and I found another guy that I liked even more. This new guy shared the same feelings for me as I did for him. We ended up getting married a few years later and we have been together ever since.
So as you can see sometimes there is something, or in this case someone, even better than the one before. Sure, it may not seem like it now, but you'll never know what you are missing if you never let go of these feelings that you have for this guy.
Before I forget, I have to say that it isn't selfish of you if let this guy go. However, it would be selfish to try and hold onto someone that isn't even yours.
Ultimately the decision is yours. Good luck in whatever you decide.
Happy mylotting!
@ifa225 (14460)
• Indonesia
4 Mar 10
Hello yra, it is good if you let him go. You should thinking about his wife/girlfriend, what if you were standing in her shoes? i guess you will be upset if someone you love taken by another girl right? just thinking about it again and again. I hope soon you will get another man that more precious for you.
@yra1026 (47)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
thanks ifa! yeah i know how does it feel if someone grab your stuff, that's why i'll gonna let him go and let them be happy... i just told myself maybe god wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift...and i will just wait!
@kimandthatsit (51)
• United States
4 Mar 10
Unfortunately you will have to let him go as it is not morally right to break up his relationship. You have to put yourself in his girl friends shoes and think would you want someone doing that to you and your relationship. As for having feeling for someone who is taken I have been there and done that but you cannot interfere in his relationship if it ends all on it's own then I would say you could jump in there but as it stands now if he is with someone else it is because he likes/loves them and your interfering is not going to be appreciated. If he is unhappy in his relationship then he needs to end it BEFORE he begins something new with someone else. Sorry my message couldn't be to go for it but frankly a "home wrecker" or "relationship killer" is not the label you want to have, am I right?
Kim
@yra1026 (47)
• Philippines
5 Mar 10
yeah you're right kim! i dont wanna be labeled as a home wrecker or what... that's why i've decided to move on and let them be happy! besides if were meant for each other, love and fate will find its way, but if not there's nothing i could do about it! 2 years of craziness is enough already! i will move on and have my life back again and i believe god has a reason why he painted my lovelife as black as charcoal coz he knows that one day there would be a great painter who would colored it as beautiful as rainbow is! ;)
@xtremelyperfect (94)
• Malaysia
4 Mar 10
Wait for him or move on.
It's never good becoming a third party unless you want that to happen in your love life too.
@yoursjannat (839)
• India
4 Mar 10
Forgive and forget him as soon as possible and let him leave in peace with her girl.Thinking of taking revenge is only a misuse of your valuable energy.Each and every man in this world knows how to love and how to care and how to give respect.It only about immaturity that makes a man play with a girl's emotion.With age everyone leans the importance of a relationship.I feel someday he'll come to you to admit that he's done wrong to you or he will never be there to apologize due to humiliation.Don't worry.You'll definitely get your dream man.One more thing,the best part of a negative event is to make you more strong and invincible.Don't forget to learn from it.
@shadowkissed14 (92)
• Philippines
4 Mar 10
I don't think it will be wise to waste your energy on a guy who is already taken. I think when you met him 3 years ago he was on the look for a girl to love him and it is also possible that he is also talking to other girls besides you at the time.
When he stopped communicating with you, that is already a sign that his focus has shifted to someone else, someone he thinks he has a chance to win.
Maybe the reason you are still focused on him is because you think you have been cheated of a moment, that if you did something else then maybe his attention will still be on you.Its not you its him. You didn't do anything thats wrong on his book and what had happened is not your fault.
There are a lot of guys out there and isolating yourself by hanging on to some guy that didn't even get in line to get you is not what you ought to do right now.
Go out have fun because i'm sure there is a guy who will appreciate you and treat you better. Take care :P
