Child caring: should it be paid or just the compulsory for the grandparents?
By rookiekan
@rookiekan (882)
China
March 12, 2010 4:57pm CST
Mr.Z now is quarreling with his wife, which is not caused by the conflict between this couple but the relationship between his wife and his mother. Mr. Z and his wife are at work with their parents apart from. While their child was born this year, in order to make them easier in life, Mr. Z’s parents decided to move from the hometown and join this little family. Mr. Z’s parents do the housework and care for the child everyday, which, as Mr. Z considers, would cost 500-600 yuan per month if done by a nanny, so, even if denied by his parents, Mr. Z still wants to give some money to his parents as the payment. Unfortunately, his arbitrary caused the fierce quarrel with his wife, who protested strongly to pay such “Child Caring Fee” to her parents-in-law. “I don't want to pay it at all no matter they are willing to care for my baby or not”, she said.
2 people like this
4 responses
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
13 Mar 10
i think they can watch them for free within reason (say a night once a month or so) but if the parents are working and the grandparents are watching the kids, then, yes, i think the parents need to give the grandparents some cash because they have to feed them, etc.
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
13 Mar 10
HI rookiekan, I belief that a couple should do things together. Decisions should be taken together. The wife should support her husband and viceversa. Decisions should be shared not imposed. Most grandparents are willing to do babysitting duties with their grandchildren, not because they are expected to do it but because they love their own children and grandchildren. They are willing to sacrifice themselves to help their children have a better standard of living and go to work. I do agree with the husband who wants to compensate his parents. On the other hand I think he should have discussed this point with his wife first. I think his wife has a very good reason to be angry if he did not consult with her first.
My mother and father do babysitting duties with my son. They offered to pick my son after school. I pick him up from my parents house about one hour later when I finish work. My mum always prepares him lunch. She never asked me for one penny/cent/dollar. But every Christmas I try to give her a voucher where she can spend it on groceries from her favourite supermarket. She always say what is this for but I do belief that it is something small to show her appreciation for her support and taking care of my son. I am sure she appreciates it a lot though she does not expect it.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
12 Mar 10
I feel that the grandparents should be paid a little for their time and effort in caring for the child. Just because they decided to move in with the son and daughter in law to care for their new grandbaby does not mean that they don't deserve to be paid.
@trina48D (88)
• United States
13 Mar 10
If the parents are now living in the same household in order to care for the grandchild that should be taken into consideration. They are receiving free room and board. Are they paying for their food? Do the parents pay anything at all towards the household? Was money discussed prior to them moving in? Do they want paid for watching the grandchild? I would think all of this would be considered as well. I would also think that if the grandparents are totally dependent on there children it would be an honorable token of appreciation to provide them with some cash for them cleaning the house and providing day care. Probably not as much as you would pay someone off the street. There are mutual needs being met. It sounds like the wife is trying to take advantage of the grandparents and seems to forget they are helping her as well as she helping them. God tells us to honor our parents. The grandmother could just stop doing it so the daughter in law realizes how good she has it.
