Did/do you let your bestfriend dating your sibling?
By ibuemma
@ibuemma (2953)
United States
March 17, 2010 6:44pm CST
Back when I was in college, I had this bestfriend. We had the same schedules, we hang out, even had the part time job at the same company. One day, her brother came from outside the town. I heard a lot about him, but never met him until that day. She asked me if I want to date him. I told her no, and she got little upset and asked me if her brother "not good enough" for me.
I told her that I don't want to date his brother because I don't want to ruin our friendship, just in case anything goes wrong when date her brother.
Well, she got mad anyway and won't talk to me until today.
I still think that I did the right thing. Imagine how mad she's going to be if I really dated her brother and the relationship didn't go well.
So how about mylotters. Did/do you let your bestfriend dating your sibling?
18 responses
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
19 Mar 10
I've never been in this kind of situation. I've never dated any of my brother's friends and likewise he never dated any of my friends. However, if it were to have ever came to that, I don't know how comfortable I would have been with the situation. There was the potential that the relationship could have gone very well, but it also could have happened that it would not have been a good relationship. I wouldn't step in the way of the relationship though and I would try everything in my power to not let what happened in their relationship impact my relationship with my friend.
@silverjapan (233)
• Romania
19 Mar 10
Not to mention I did it before... I dated my best friend sister, he wasn't that happy but it was our choice, who gives a damn about him ... anyway we broke up but I'm still friend with her brother and somewhat friend with her...
and whatever I would let any of my family to whatever they want, why would you control your family to not date your friends, really now, people like these are douchbags
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
18 Mar 10
it really depends on them... if they are really compatible and love each other, i have nothing to say... otherwise, of course i will go against it and say something to my sibling... anyway, blood is always thicker than water and i want to protect my sibling from harm... take care and have a nice day...
@clocks123 (1225)
• United States
18 Mar 10
i agree with you. i wouldn't want to date a sibling of my friend. if it dosen't work out it can affect your friendship. you would still see him perhaps with someone else or have bad feelings between you. i wouldn't want to date a ex-boyfriend of a friend either. it just dosen't feel right to me.
@1anurag1 (3576)
• India
18 Mar 10
in my country those things are not easily acceptable in society and due to this i cant ever imagine and even if i know i wont allow my friend and my sibling to do any kind of relation.
and i know if he or she is my best friend then he will not going to do any thing which is not accepted by me.
@lovelyn_medrano (3070)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
I don't mind at all. If my besfriend and my sibling like each other then why not... I am not going to stand on their way... Or block them.
But in your case, you chooses not to date your bestfriend's brother... well that is your decision... And if I were your friend, I would not take that against you. I would be an open minded... I mean I am not going to push my brother or sister to someone... It is okay to play bridge sometimes but respect should be there alaways and still... We cannot push people to do what we want... and be mad or angry when he or she did not follow us...
I totally disagree with how your bestfriend take this thing... Perhaps she is not really a bestfriend... because bestfriend understands.... They are not controlling.
@ibuemma (2953)
• United States
18 Mar 10
I just really enjoy being bestfriend with her. It's hard to find a person that get along with you. So, ireally want to make the friendship last. This dating the same thing like borrowing money from friend, it can be a disaster. Next thing you know, you are no longer friend.
@barnkinney (1343)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
it would depend on who among my siblings and who among my friends. i am the eldest, thus my friends are usually older than my siblings. just in case i see that there is nothing wrong with the combination of both personalities, i would not step in the way. regardless if they are perfect for each other or not, i would definitely warn my friend that if he/she cheats or does something bad, it could mean the end of our friendship. so, it would depend now on what weighs heavier for my friend.
@kquiming (2997)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
Your best friend is supposed to appreciate the fact that you value your friendship! and she's not supposed to be angry at you for making such a wise and mature decision. I'm a girl and would personally do the same if caught in that situation with a best friend. Are you two still not talking until now ? Or have you lost each other's contact then? Anyway you did the right thing, so kudos to you...
@gossipzz (498)
• Canada
18 Mar 10
I agree with you. Your friend is very sensitive. She would have ended your friendship at some point, if you dated the brother. She should have thought about it if she was your friend. She would not want to be in the middle and have to choose sides. You will find true friend. Happy lotting.
@arreolabryan (856)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
I think what you did was right but you can tell her in a better way I guess. I won't date my friends sister to make our friendship stable. Dating a sibling of a friend is a big risk for your friendship. Hope people will understand it.
@bestylish (922)
• Philippines
18 Mar 10
Well, in my case, if any of my friends has asked me about this, I'll tell them... "Does your brother even know me?". If she tries to hook me up with her brother, I'll directly tell her that I don't want to. I am a little bit of straight-forward.
@vivihu (24)
• China
18 Mar 10
If I were you, I would do the same thing. I think the brothers of your sibling should be your sibling too and it is enough. It doesn't mean it is possible for a realtionship. But there are some balance work you need to know. Friendship and relationship, the one you cared more will be the center of the decisions.
Some day she will know, you did it, for you cared your friendship more.
@artsyfartsygypsy (755)
• Canada
18 Mar 10
Its never happened yet but I guess it would depend. If it was my best friend I would feel a little (scratch that, very) weird and awkard about it. If it was just a friend, even a good friend, it would be less weird but still kinda wrong in my mind. Especially since the three year age difference in me and my sister with her only being 14. It would also depend on the kind of person my friend was. If I thought he was truly great and would be good for my sister then o matter how close we are Id let it happen for her sake.
@shynepapin101 (1879)
• United Arab Emirates
18 Mar 10
I don't support it and don't let my sister around
@shynepapin101 (1879)
• United Arab Emirates
18 Mar 10
No i didn't and just to say you did what's right
@shynepapin101 (1879)
• United Arab Emirates
18 Mar 10
No i didn't and just to say i support your decision
@silverjapan (233)
• Romania
19 Mar 10
Well you did a good thing if you wanted to protect your friendship, I wouldn't do the same, when it's come to love I don't care about friends or family I go for it no matter who she is related to :)
But that's just me, I go with the "flow".
